This is the last entry in my Cam Trouble diary. My cam troubles are over. :-) I've been through it all, haven't I? I don't know where I'd have been without this diary to keep me sane and help me decide what to do. It's been my best friend.

Well, that and silver, obviously... ;-)

What a day. What a beautiful day. And nothing is impossible in my all powerful mind.

As the song goes. I've been playing that at top volume all evening. While I've been reading and re-reading some emails.

Date: Mon, 31 May 2004 11:37:21 -0700 (PDT)
From: straight guy [str8guy@frea.cc]
To: [mollyhadley@emailaddress.com]
Subject: The end

Dear Molly

Ah well, our game is over. What fun it was, what fun it
was. I know you'll hate me, now that you know what was
happening. I know you'll hate me, and I hate myself for
that.

I don't expect you to understand, and I don't expect you
to forgive. What I did was unforgiveable.

But please believe this. I may have started all this with
the most cynical of motives, but by the end I was beguiled
by your charm, wit, intelligence and bravery. And I mean
every word of that, my dear. You're an extraordinary person
and I hope you realise that.

I think, little by little, day by day, I fell in love with you Molly.
And that wasn't part of the plan.

I saw you with people - Jonathan and co - and I felt jealous.
And I freely admit it. And when you told me about Sheffield,
I wanted to thump him. I saw your body, Molly, and wanted
it for myself. And the more you taunted me, the more I
wanted you.

You know the whole story by now. I'm Linda's husband. Not,
incidentally, the person you met a few weeks ago. That, as
they say, was an actor improvising my words. No, I wanted
to keep myself hidden from you. And how glad I am that I did.

You see, we finally did meet, Molly. On Thursday night in the
Royal Hotel. I was Nigel. Yes, Molly, that was me. It was why
I kept my cock hidden - I didn't want you to recognise it. But
finally, just for a moment, I was allowed to share that which I
have adored from afar these last two months.

And I loved every second of it. It's almost worth the turmoil I'm
going through now. You won't hear from us again. Tess will be
finding other work. str8guy is dead. I'm just plain Miles Chase
again.

I'm sorry for what I did, Molly. But nonetheless, I think - I know
in fact - that you enjoyed some of what we did. I think I opened
new horizons for you, Molly. And you grew to the challenge.
You were magnificent. Truly so. Truly so. Magnificent. I'm spinning
out the words because I don't want to end this email. Because
when Ido, then I've lost you forever. And I hate that thought Molly.

Try not to think badly of me, Molly. And please, now that you've
discovered your freedom, don't lose it. Grant me that, at least.

with all my love

Miles

Not even the news that str8guy finally managed to get his paws (and his come) all over me has deflated my mood. I was freaked out when I first read that, but let's be honest - he's seen everything and done everything, anyway, over the last two months, so a quick wank over my back in a hotel bedroom is no big deal.

And anyway, I think this will help me get my own back... Geoff helped me with the face photo, and the cock ones are all mine. There's a poster on the Village Hall noticeboard. And the web address is going in the small ads of the local paper on Thursday. 'Snake - free to a good home,' it says 3; *G*

But I think poor str8guy's real troubles might start when he gets a call from Mr Lomax's minders. I called Madame Juliette a little while ago. We had a lovely chat - she's not that scary when you get to know her. After our chat she somehow got the idea - who knows how... - that str8guy has been doing a bit of illicit pimping. Mr Lomax takes a dim view of that, apparently, because he's the only allowed to do illicit pimping round here... And Juliette tells me his minders are very, very big. And stupid. And thuggish. And single-minded. Oh dear. Poor str8guy...

:-)

I emailed Simon earlier.

From: mollyhadley@emailaccount.com
Reply-To: mollyhadley@emailaccount.com
To: simon89346@yahoo.co.uk [simon89346@yahoo.co.uk ]
Subject: Hello again
Date: Mon 05/31/04 18:23 PM

Dear Simon

I think I said in my last email that things were complicated, but I
hoped they would get resolved soon. Well, they have.

I was in a peculiar relationship - let's be honest, I was being
blackmailed - but it's all over now, and I'm a free agent again.

Wondered if you'd like to chat again some time. Not like the last
time! Not naked and performing - just a chat. See how we get on.
See if we like each other. I think we might. But see how it goes.

Let me know what you think.

cheers

Molly

And as I sent that, an incoming mail appeared. I'm still shaking...

From: miliza02233@yahoo.com
To: mollyhadley@emailaccount.com
Subject: I miss you
Date: Tue 31/05/04 18:19 PM

Dearest Molly

Here I am in Newcastle. It's lovely here. I am missing you. I
keep thinking about you. I'm thinking Newscastle isn't too far
away and maybe you could come visit me at the weekend?

I go back home in three weeks, but I would love to see you
again before that. I need to, I think 3;

You know what I mean??? You know what I like. And I know
what you like... naughty girl...

:-)

kisses and hugs

Meliza

You know, some days are just made to be perfect... :-)

And now, for old time's sake, I'm off into chatmate.

[molly] okay, what's happening in here tonight?

[deril7] i love to see you ass

[hunglikeadonkey] hey harriet, bet your a sexy chick

[iowaman] blow those cheeks for me antionette

[goobersmacker] ja, i want to lick you harriet

[edward_hopper] I see shadows and light

[molly] usual crowd of freaks and madmen, then...

[harriet27] hey hung, sexy chick, that's me...;-)

[deril7] harriet, do you have big ass

[iowaman] harriet, hello.... :-)

[edward_hopper] and beautiful green landscapes with perfect sunsets

[pantysniffer] molly, show ys your tits

[harriet27] goobersmacker, where you wanna lick, babe?

[hunglikeadonkey] harriet, do u hav a a cam

[leonard_cohen] anyone seen suzanne?

[molly] pantysniffer, no offence but fuck off

[ferret] hello molly, no weasels chasing you tonight, I hope

[harriet27] deril, my ass is HUGE honey

[edward_hopper] and actors, offstage, directing the action

[iowaman] harriet wht are you wearing

[leonard_cohen] she's half crazy, of course, that's why I want to be there

[molly] hello ferret. do i know you? weasels? no, i hope not too lol

[deril7] harrit, you got me so excited you fat ass chick

[pantysniffer] harriet show us your tits

[goobersmacker] ja, your whole body harriett. mostly feet

[leonard_cohen] last time i saw her she was down at that place by the river. anyone seen her?

[ferret] Yes, I think you could say you know me... With any luck, the weasels have all been Chased away. Miles away.

[harriet27] fat-ass chick, huh? you know how to sweet-talk the girls, eh deril?

[edward_hopper] windows on the world. that's what we create, artists making windows on the world

[harriet27] i'm wearing stilettos, iowaman. and carrying a whip

[molly] that's what i'm hoping, ferret

[leonard_cohen] she was feeding me tea and oranges

[harriet27] goober, feet huh? Nah, I'm too tickly there. How bout my cunt instead, pardner?

[hunglikeadonkey] i have nine inches for you harreit

[ferret] that would leave the ground clear for other players

[ferret] real players

[harriet27] pantysniffer, how about i sit on your face and you lick my ass?

[leonard_cohen] i was about to blow her out actually

[goobersmacker] harreitt i think i love you

[molly] ferret, it would, wouldn't it?

[molly] and what would those other players be interested in?

[deril7] could i do that for you misstress harriet? licky your ass?

[harriet27] and what would i want nine inches for, hung?

[harriet27] of course you love me goober. everybody loves me...

[deril7] i like to kiss you on the ass harriet. will you like that?

[leonard_cohen] and then the dumb broad tells me she loves me

[ferret] oh you know. ferrets like us - we're all shits. We think alike, Molly, we act alike. We do the same bad things, because we're bad people.

[leonard_cohen] but now I'm all fucked up. Don't know what I'm doing. Travelling blind.

[ferret] that's what makes us so nice

[hunglikeadonkey] my nine inches fucking you harreti

[harriet27] deril, i like to spank you on the ass. you up for that?

[molly] ferret, i think you're right. we're a pair of shits, aren't we?

[iowaman] harriet, you sound so sexy. please show me your stilettos

[deril7] harriette,oh yes yse yes

[harriet27] hung, my strap-on is eight inches. can i slide it up your ass?

[ferret] that we are, Molly...

[harriet27] deril, i'll show you mine if you'll show me yours...

[goobersmacker] harreit, be nasty with me

[harriet27] iowaman, please show me your cock. i want to see wht my stilettos are going to grind into

[deril7] misstress harriet, i do anything you say

[hunglikeadonkey] harriet you can kiss my ass i dont do shit like that hjeez you are one sick fuck lady

[pantysniffer] oky harriette, i agree

[harriet27] deril, it's time you and i had a little chat together, sweety. come with me...

[molly] ferret, would you like to go private with me? I have a cam...

[leonard_cohen] and she holds a mirror. And I want to travel with her

[deril7] misstress harriett really?

[leonard_cohen] and I want to travel blind

[harriet27] come here little boy

[ferret] molly, i would love to

[leonard_cohen] and I know that I can trust her, for she's touched my perfect body with her mind.

[edward_hopper] and now the comedians are taking their bow

[deril7] yes mistress harriet

[edward_hopper] their show is done, their game is ended

[molly] follow me, lover man ;-) paradise awaits...

[edward_hopper] good night, one and all, good night...