Called in sick today. I woke up this morning and just knew I couldn't go in. I couldn't face it. Not after Sunday night. Knowing that somebody in the office saw that. Watched me do that. Has seen me do that. Has seen me, in fact. No. It's too awful.

He's texted three times.

Are you okay?

You're not ill are you?

Want me to kiss it better?

Four times. There's another one as I write.

I missed you last night

I can't cope with the way he's trying to make this so ordinary. Like any girl starts stripping off and wanking on cam for somebody she doesn't know. Or rather, she does know. It's like he's saying I'm doing this of my own free will, rather than because I was blackmailed.

He's probably right, too.

It wouldn't stand up in court, would it? Not now. Not after Sunday. Read the transcript - does it sound like I'm being coerced? "Only if you want." He says it two or three times, doesn't he? That's the worst bit about it all. Even worse than flashing my fanny on screen. The knowledge that I was so stupid and gullible I let myself get talked into it. Stupid Molly. Stupid.

Later

8.30. Be there

Or be square.

:-(

Later

[str8guy wishes to talk to you]

[medusa] I'll bet he does

[str8guy] str8guy has entered

[str8guy] Hello Molly. How are you? I've been worried about you all day.

[str8guy] And you didn't show last night either.

[medusa] don't tell me - you've plastered my pic all round the office as punishment :-(

[str8guy] Molly, you wound me. I gave you my word of honour on that.

[medusa] so no retribution for standing u up last night?

[str8guy] Certainly not. Wouldn't dream of it. How are you?

[medusa] okay

[str8guy] You weren't at work today

[medusa] pmt

[str8guy] That's not the real reason.

[medusa] No

[str8guy] ?

[medusa] !

[str8guy] ??

[medusa] *#@%

[str8guy] I had a wonderful time on Sunday night.

[str8guy] I guess you're feeling a bit embarrassed about it?

[str8guy] You shouldn't be. It was great fun

[str8guy] You just went with the flow. What happened happened. We let it unfold.

[str8guy] Nothing wrong with that

[str8guy] :-)

[medusa] well at least we made a deal and i wont be doing it again

[str8guy] No. Not unless you choose to.

[str8guy] Tell me about the girl with the fabulous arse

[str8guy] Yesterday.

[medusa] She was a girl. with a fabulous arse. yesterday. in the art gallery.

[str8guy] Didn't know you were interested in girls

[medusa] im not

[str8guy] But you were interested in this one.

[medusa] i can admire beauty in any form

[str8guy] And her form was beautiful, I take it.

[medusa] absolutely sensational

[str8guy] Sounds wonderful.

[str8guy] Wish I'd seen it.

[str8guy] Could you describe it?

[medusa] how do you describe an arse?

[str8guy] Carefully, with well-chosen words to capture the essence.

[medusa] the essence of an arse??? its something you sit on and shit from..

[str8guy] Molly, I know there's poetry in your soul. I see through this ladette bluster.

[medusa] ladetter bluster. wasnt she in b movies in the 50s?

[str8guy] Describe the derriere

[medusa] she was wearing jeans

[str8guy] yes

[medusa] Tight. Low slung - very low. Almost see her crack, but not quite. Light coloured jeans, distressed fabric

[str8guy] yes

[medusa] and her arse cheeks were wonderfully rounded. Incredibly full. Her body was quite skinny, boyish really, but not her arse.

[medusa] and when she walked it undulated, and the jeans were so tight it was like watching her flesh move. the low waist seemed to act like a frame, drawing your eye to the main picture

[medusa] which rolled folded and smoothed as she walked. it was like liquid, ever changing, no sharpness, just beauty.

[str8guy] Molly, I can almost see her myself...

[str8guy] And did it make you want to stroke her?

[medusa] im not that way inclined

[str8guy] But she still grabbed your attention.

[medusa] yes

[str8guy] So she must have made a strong impact on you.

[medusa] not strong mecessarily. just interesting

[str8guy] Interesting enough for you to text me about.

[medusa] i was being facetious

[str8guy] You told me the other night you didn't know the meaning of that word.

[medusa] looked it up in the dictionary afterwards

[str8guy] I'm pleased to know our little discussions prove so interesting for you.

[medusa] Had to look up a lot of the words you used the other night...

[str8guy] Oh yes, such as?

[medusa] oh cut it out. stop trying to make me indulge your wank fantasies. first describing the girl, now getting me to say dirty words...

[str8guy] I didn't know you were referring to dirty words

[medusa] ha!

[str8guy] But back to the girl, did you spend a lot of time watching her?

[medusa] we happened to be going round at the same time. kept running into each other

[str8guy] And you took advantage of every occasion to observe her plump and delicious rear?

[medusa] its not as sordid as you make it sound. but yes, i enjoyed looking at her

[str8guy] Was she aware you were looking at her?

[medusa] hmm, yeah i think she was

[str8guy] Really? That's interesting. So was she looking at you too?

[medusa] em, yeah i guess so

[medusa] like i say, your painting it as something sordid. it wasn't, it was just innocent

[str8guy] Oh absolutely. A little innocent flirting, I imagine. Did you catch her eye, or she yours?

[medusa] once

[str8guy] What happened?

[medusa] nothig. i blushed and looked away.

[str8guy] What a shame. Could have been the start of something fabulous.

[medusa] yeah well, im not a lesbian so its unlikely isnt it

[str8guy] Unlikely? Not impossible then?

[medusa] impossible

[str8guy] Okay, as you say. Do you often flirt like that?

[medusa] not consciously. its just kinda fun

[str8guy] Perhaps you should take a picture with your mobile next time you see a likely candidate, and send it to me.

[str8guy] Only the women, of course. Not much interested in the men.

[medusa] threre you go again

[medusa] turning me into the source of your wank fantasies

[str8guy] LOL. Oh well, just a thought. Think about it, next time you see a fabulous arse. Make an old wanker very happy. Send him a snap.

[medusa] oh, you're old are you. thanks, helps narrow your identity down.

[str8guy] Well done, Hercule. But no, it was just a pejorative term

[medusa] another one for my dictionary

[str8guy] Next time you're on a train, or walking down the street, see a lovely girl, feel that tingle in your tummy, a stirring in your loins, think of str8guy. Would you do that?

[str8guy] And send me a snap?

[str8guy] I dare you.

[medusa] sod off...

[medusa] amnyway, im going now.

[str8guy] Will you be in work tomorrow?

[medusa] yes, or ill get the sack

[str8guy] Great. It really was - genuinely was, all sarcasm aside - a pleasure chatting to you tonight.

[medusa] yeah well, it passed an hour.

[medusa] and one thing...

[medusa] thanks for not asking me to put my cam on or strip off...

[str8guy] *bows*

[medusa] cya

Okay, what do you make of that? Cynical or what? I can't make up my mind what this guy is up to. He's toying with me.