Right then, a bit of order here. I've not been taking this seriously enough. I'm letting this game be played at his pace, to his rules, and it's not on. I'm allowing myself to be led any which way, and while I'm not going to deny there's an intriguing element to it all, it's still creepy that someone I know is doing this to me. I've got to work out who it is.

So concentrate, Molly, concentrate.

Suspects:

Three main ones:

1. Terry: previously a man of few words who didn't make much effort to talk to me. Ever since this started, it seems to me, he has been coming up and talking to me every day. Usually about nothing. Horses, computers, films (Kill Bill 2 - please!!!). So coincidence or what?
What do I know about him? 40s, married, big feet (corollary = big dick??).
Works in finance, so prob a control freak. But they're usually pretty sexless too - one balances the other out.
Well spoken, well educated - impt bc str8guy uses fancy language all the time.
6 feet, balding, used to be sporty, I'd guess, but podgebucketing a bit now. Would I like it to be him? No comment. Not sure. Don't think so. No.

2. Geoff McCabe: the mad monk, a man crazier than a barrel of spaniels.
Head of co, driven (driven crazy more like...), workaholic who spends his life at his desk. I think he's married, but he's probably not sure either.
Fatter than a prune soaked in red wine for a week. Short, pasty, a heart attack on (fat) legs. Difficult to imagine he's seen his cock, far less thought about it, in twenty years.
Not painting a likely picture of a sexual predator here...
But...
Control freakery again. Playing games. He loves negotiations, breaking people down, making them agree to things they don't want. That's what business is all about to him. And what is all this if it isn't a sexual version of big business???
Would I like it to be him? I'd prefer to be buggered by a dead gorilla.

3. Rod Eaves: from accounts. So another control freak (Am I surrounded by them??? Does this tell us something about the company's recruitment process? And what does that say about me, since I was recruited by them too??) A man with no discernible personality or point = str8guy as alter-ego, Mr Hyde to Dr Jeckyll?? I've been trying to cross him out in my daily eliminator game, but he keeps coming to me and asking me something. Always something genuine. But... Is it a cunning ploy?
Single, early 30s. Not glamorous, in the way that Posh Spice isn't talented. Intelligent and reasonably well spoken - not sure he is as eloquent as str8guy though.
Could it be him? I'm imagining a solitary type, not good in relationships. Could he be using this as a way of 1. getting to know women or 2. humiliating them?
Which is an important point - what is str8guy's motivation in all this? Why is he doing it? I need to ponder and come back to that point.
Would I like it to be him? Hmm, possibly. Given the opposition, very possibly...

I really don't see it being anyone else other than these three. No-one else seems articulate/freaky/demented/intelligent enough to think all this up.

Guess I just need to be equally articulate/freaky/demented/intelligent to figure out who it is. Unfortunately, some of those attributes come easier than others... :-) Articulate? Wot, like, me?

Tuesday, April 20th 2004, later, at work

Emailed from work and cut and pasted:

Well, fuck the man. He likes to up the ante, doesn't he? Never stands still for long. Just as soon as he wears me down on one thing he starts on the next. It's never-ending. As soon as I succumb he spots my weakness and hones in on it. I'm telling you, he'll have me somersaulting naked down the High Street with a joss stick up my arse before this is over... :-(

Yesterday, he got me to put the cam on my desk. It took him a while, but I gave in, in the end. Important, because it takes the venue for this stuff out of my living room and into work. More danger, in other words. I kept refusing, but he wore me down. Familiar pattern beginning to emerge here, wouldn't you say?

So today? What today?

Face isn't enough today. Oh no. Not enough for mr str8guy.

Look under your desk

I've come to dread the double beep of texts coming through. It's usually only him who texts me. Resignedly, I looked under my desk.

Well, someone had been busy in the night. There was a little makeshift shelf bolted to the backboard of my desk. And on it was my cam and a torch pencil. The cam wire was trailed over to the corner where it joined the jumble of leads connected to my docking station. My heart froze. No, no, no.

Not at work, not graphic detail. Not upskirt. I couldn't do it, I'd get sacked.

My brain was fizzing. It could have been anyone who had set this up. Virtually all of us senior workers have keys to the office - we're expected to work late or come in early, it's all part of the culture of the organisation. But clearly, str8guy had gone to a lot of effort for this. I had to admit a certain admiration, mingled with my sense of outrage and horror.

Found it?

Unfortunately

Log in.

[medusa has entered]

[str8guy] Morning Molly my sweet

[medusa] i'm not doing it

[str8guy] Manners, Molly, not even a hello first?

[medusa] hello your arse. i'm not doing it

[str8guy] Why not?

[medusa] cos i'll get sacked

[str8guy] Only if you were found out. And why whould you be?

[str8guy] It's not as if I'm going to say anything, is it?

[str8guy] I've got far too much to lose.

[medusa] youve got too much to lose!!! what about me m8...

[str8guy] Yes I have. You've no idea how much pleasure this relationship is giving me.

[medusa] its not a relationship

[str8guy] Game, then. Partnership.

[str8guy] Challenge, I think. Yes, that's it, a challenge.

[str8guy] And I'm enjoying it very much. I certainly wouldn't want to do anything to prejudice that.

[medusa] whatever you call it, i wont do it

[str8guy] So you can be assured that I won't do anything - nor ask you to do anything - which compromises either of us, or indeed the challenge.

[medusa] u always start the fancy language when u want to impress me m8 :-(

[str8guy] And you always start the texting language when you try to prevaricate.

[medusa] whaticate?

[str8guy] Putting off the moment, my sweet Molly. Why don't you just switch your cam on?

[str8guy] You know you want to. You know you will. Why not just do it?

Now, you see, I blame my father for this. He was always bloody-minded. As soon as someone patronised him and started telling him what to do, even if he agreed with it, he would storm off. Cutting off your nose to spite your face, my mother always said.

So I stormed away to slice my nose off. In the lavs.

He's such a bastard. Texted while I was in there, five times, one after the other.

While you're there take off panties love

I want to see my molly's pussy

Prettiest pussy in the world

Moist & puffy ready to show me

Show me molly's polly

Well, he was right. I was moist. My stomach was fluttering. My head was swimming, hands shaking. You can't fight it. Not for long anyway. I did for a while - I ignored him and returned to my desk, but he kept bombarding me with texts and finally I logged in to the room again. This was afternoon, by now, so at least I had held out for a few hours.

[str8guy] I expect you need to go the toilet now, Molly?

[medusa] not partic

[str8guy] Oh I think you do.

[str8guy] And do you know what?

[medusa] wot

[str8guy] When you're there, do you think you might just slip your panties into your bag before you return.

[str8guy] A little fresh air down there can be quite stimulating, I imagine.

[str8guy] Molly, what do you say?

[str8guy] Time for a quick visit to the toilets?

I think I hate him. I don't know how he does it.

[medusa] brb