It's really humid, horrible. After all the sunshine, the weather broke last night with very heavy rain. The atmosphere is still full of dampness, but it's hot and cloying. Kind of reflects my mood. I woke up tireder than I felt when I went to sleep. I just don't want to do anything.

Tess has blown me out for tonight, thank God. I was thinking I would have to call off, because I can't really face Walkabout tonight, but after standing her up last week I thought she'd go crazy if I pulled out again. I wasn't looking forward to telling her, but she collared me first thing.

"Really sorry, but I can't make it tonight," she said.

I muttered some words of disappointment and we chatted for a while until we got over the awkwardness. "But at least the youth of the town can rest easy tonight. Doing anything good?"

"I wish. Going out with Patrick and the brother and sister-in-law again. I'd invite you, but apparently it's to discuss a business proposition him and Gerry have got lined up. You'd be bored rigid. So I'll just get drunk with Linda and let the boys plot their money-making deals."

"No worries. Say hi to Linda for me - I liked her. We should go on a girlie night-out soon, just the three of us."

"Yeah, that'd be good actually. We usually end up arguing if it's just the two of us, but she's okay when there's company. Behaves a bit."

"Oh, I don't know about that. Good behaviour - that's not what I had in mind!"

Tess laughed. "Yeah, but there's good bad behaviour and bad bad behaviour."

"Which is which?"

"We do good bad. Linda does bad bad."

"Got it. But watch those men though. Don't let them do anything without you agreeing to it. We don't want that bastard re-mortgaging your house for some crap business venture that goes tits up six months later and leaves you homeless. Seriously, Tess."

"I know. I wouldn't put it past him. Useless bastard. He bought an electric lawn mower yesterday. One of those sit-on ones. Like a buggy? Got it for £300 under the price, so he's like a pig in shit, Mr High and Mighty Businessman, brokering the deal of the century."

"Well, I suppose it is a good deal."

"Yeah, but our garden's only the size of half a tennis court. There's barely room for the damned thing to turn round. Bloody idiot."

"Ha! Maybe not so good then."

"I've told him I'm going to take the blades off it and use it to go down to the shops on."

"Excellent! What did he say?"

Tess tossed me an expression which said it all. "Pah! The witless wonder, he just stormed off to the garden to play with it." She paused and smiled broadly. "And then it rained. Tipped it down for the rest of the night..." We both laughed. "Serves him right."

Apologies for quoting all of that verbatim. Tess is about the only anchor I have in normality at the moment. It just helps to take my mind off things. I actually wish I could go out with them tonight: even listening to Patrick's boring business talk would be better than sitting at home fretting about str8guy.

Talking of who, he's very quiet today.

Later, at home

The bastard.

The bastard.

For the first time I'm sorely tempted to censor one of our discussions. But I won't.

[str8guy] Good evening Molly. You looked very pretty at work today, I thought. But a bit pale. Are you feeling okay?

[molly] bit under the weather. a lot been happening lately.

[str8guy] Yes, I understand. You should have an early night some time, catch up on your beauty sleep.

[str8guy] Not tonight, though.

[molly] not tonight?

[str8guy] No, I have plans for you tonight. We'll come to that presently.

[str8guy] But first, could you strip for me. I want to check on your little botty.

[str8guy] Check your bruising.

[str8guy] I need to look after my little Molly, don't I?

[str8guy] And tee-shirt too, please. The full monty, I think.

[str8guy] Ah, lovely. And turn...

[str8guy] Well, it's still quite red isn't it? But definitely going.

[str8guy] You probably couldn't tell you'd been spanked now, could you?

[molly] i think u could. the paddle marks are still clear.

[molly] look

[str8guy] Ah yes perhaps they are. I wonder if we could fit another session in before the end of the challenge. What do you think?

[molly] i doubt we'll have time.

[molly] u don't want to waste time going over old ground, do you m8?

[str8guy] Ingenious answer, Molly, well done.

[str8guy] I did a new website for you today

[molly] did u really

[str8guy] Yes, with yesterday's performance. It was splendid.

[str8guy] Not the dildo part. I didn't see any of that, sad to say.

[str8guy] But I recorded the peeing session

[molly] for posterity?

[str8guy] Just so.

[str8guy] Do you want the address?

[molly] not really

[str8guy] You will, later.

[str8guy] http://www.angelfire.com/vamp/molly_hadley-6/

[str8guy] You can look at your leisure.

[str8guy] I was speaking to a friend today

[molly] really?

[str8guy] Yes, Adam. An old friend. We knew each other a long time ago. So much water has gone under the bridge since those days. I even had a different name then.

[molly] different name?

[str8guy] Yes. And there's a little snippet of information for you, Molly. See if that helps with your challenge to find my identity.

[molly] u changed ur name?

[str8guy] Indeed I did. Many years ago.

[molly] why?

[str8guy] You don't need to know that.

I actually went cold at this point. I've grown used to thinking of str8guy as my sick blackmailer, and knew what he was doing was illegal, but the fact that he had changed his name at some stage seemed sinister. My mind started whizzing, imagining all sorts of things. Instantly, I began to see him as some sort of gangster, and my fear rose 100%.

[str8guy] Anyway, I heard from a mutual friend that his wife had died.

[str8guy] About a year ago, actually. But I thought I'd give him a call. Commiserate. Talk about old times, that sort of thing.

[str8guy] He seemed pleased to hear from me. We had a lovely chat. He told me about his wife, how shattered he was, but he was picking up the pieces now, that sort of thing.

[str8guy] He's very brave, but I could tell he's still suffering.

[str8guy] I asked if there was anyone new in his life, but no, he hasn't found anyone yet.

[str8guy] I think people in that situation sometimes find it difficult to break free from the past, don't you think?

[molly] i couldnt say. never thought about it

[str8guy] Their memories are still so vivid they can't let go. It feels like a betrayal, somehow.

[molly] is there a reason why your tellng me this?

[str8guy] Yes there is, as it happens.

[str8guy] You are observant, aren't you?

[str8guy] Could you tweak your nipple for me, by the way?

[str8guy] Like I say, I felt very sorry for him. He's had a rough time. So I arranged to meet him for a drink.

[str8guy] Tonight, in fact.

[str8guy] Then I got thinking. I didn't really like him that much, and he was a bit wet, really.

[str8guy] It was just the pity talking. And that's not a good basis for friendship.

[str8guy] And then I thought of you.

[molly] cheers. pity made you think of me

[str8guy] No no no! Not that at all.

[str8guy] Don't be so touchy, Molly.

[str8guy] No, a brainwave came over me.

[str8guy] I think you'll like this.

[molly] i think i wont

[str8guy] You see, what Adam has been missing is some female company.

[str8guy] Since the death.

[str8guy] And he can't break free from thinking about his wife.

[str8guy] He's put her on some kind of pedestal, I think.

[str8guy] What he needs is some company. A real woman.

[str8guy] Someone to remind him of what he's been missing.

[str8guy] do you catch my drift?

[molly] all too clearly

[str8guy] Good.

[str8guy] What I thought is this. You ready?

[molly] y

[str8guy] I've arranged to meet him in the Portland at eight tonight. Somewhere quiet where we could talk over old times.

[str8guy] At five past eight, he's going to get a phone call from me. I'm going to be caught in traffic on the M1. Tailed back all the way to Northampton. Terribly sorry. No chance of making it.

[str8guy] do you see?

[molly] not entirely

[str8guy] At eight o'clock, a beautiful, sexy young woman is going to enter the Portland. She's going to buy a gin and tonic and sit down beside Adam. She's going to listen to the phone conversation.

[str8guy] And once Adam has hung up she's going to start chatting to him.

[str8guy] Do you see?

[molly] not entirely

[str8guy] She's going to offer to take the place of the gridlocked motorist and keep Adam company. They're going to have a fun evening.

[str8guy] She's going to enjoy his company very much.

[str8guy] So much, in fact, that she's going to invite him home for coffee.

[str8guy] Do you see?

[molly] entirely

[str8guy] She's going to help him forget.

[str8guy] She's going to remind him what a sexy woman can do for a man.

[str8guy] She's going to avail herself however he asks.

[str8guy] Aren't you Molly?

[str8guy] Aren't you Molly?

[str8guy] It's six o'clock now. Better start getting ready.

[str8guy] The Portland at eight. His name's Adam.

[str8guy] And of course, there's always the incentive that you can dig and find out some info on me. To help with your enquiries.

[str8guy] Not that you'll get much, I don't think.

[str8guy] And molly?

[str8guy] Don't let me down. I'll be phoning Adam in the morning. I'll be expecting to hear good reports of the evening.

[str8guy] Chop chop darling. Keep your cam on, so I can see you getting ready. That'll be fun to watch.

[str8guy] Okay, Molly?

[str8guy] I take it that's you off to get ready. Good girl.

[str8guy] whistle while you work.

[str8guy] Something red, I think Molly. Red suits you.

Just don't expect me to say anything. All right?

And don't look at me like that. I know you are. I know what you're thinking. Just don't.

Leave me alone.