I'm in trouble. I've done something really stupid. I'm almost sick with worry, jesus what have I done? What have I done?

Sometimes I think I'm the stupidest woman in the whole world.

In fact, I know it.

I don't know what to do. I'm so scared. Don't know if I can go into work on Monday, I really don't. I've never kept a diary in my life, but I've had to start writing this down because - well, I just don't know what else to do 3;

I was on chatmate again last night. No, let me try and get all this in order, explain it from the beginning. I found this site about a month ago, called chatmate.com. It's a webcam community, and very adult. It's a real laugh. There are loads of different rooms you can chat in, and some people have webcams, some don't. I didn't for a couple of weeks, I just went to chat.

God, I'm stupid.

Like I say, I started off just chatting, but after a while everyone always wanted to see me on cam. At first, I wasn't having anything to do with that, but eventually it just seemed like an okay thing to do. I wasn't going to do anything rude, anyway, so they'd only be seeing my face. Where's the harm in that? So I bought a webcam and one Saturday, a couple of weeks ago, I started using it. As long as you stay out of Freezone and go into moderated rooms it's okay. The ops look after you, stop the morons from harassing you. Safe enough, I thought.

God, it was mad. As soon as the cam went on I suddenly started getting hundreds of personal messages flying up on the screen. It just clogged up my computer - couldn't see the screen for them, everything slowed down to a crawl. Juanita told me how to stop them and took me under her wing, and I got the hang of it quite quickly. It was brilliant! I got addicted. I've been online more or less every night since. Let's face it, I've not got anything better to do in r/l. I just chat, though - medusa's my handle. I go to the Girls' Playground and meet up with iowacpl and carrot-top and juanita and co, have fun teasing the guys. It's amazing how long you can string them along for, before they finally lose interest. "Show us your tits, medusa," they start, and I refuse time and time again. "Just the bra then," and "oh, go on, even the bra strap." They just keep on and on at you, probing for a weakness. The room ops boot the really gormless ones, and you can build up a good rapport with people.

I'd noticed over the last week or so a guy called str8guy in the room. He didn't say a lot at first, but when he did it was funny. He had a good way of putting down the idiots. I don't think he hit on me particularly, at first - he just chatted generally in the room. In fact, I think he cybered with carrot-top the other night - they both denied it but they went suspiciously quiet at one point.

But anyway, over the last few days he started talking to me more and more, until we were chatting to each other almost exclusively. Took some ribbing from the others about that, but there was nothing in it. I liked him because he was just chatting - no innuendo or appeals to strip or anything. Last night I got a bit drunk. Well, a lot drunk actually. A bottle of wine drunk. Stayed on far later than usual - it was gone one in the morning when I went to bed.

It was the usual stuff. Loads of guys asking me to strip. One guy in particular kept on at me. "You look totally flat-chested," he said. "Don't think you've got any tits at all." He was getting to be a bit of a pain, but I made the mistake of arguing with him instead of just ignoring him. "Prove it," he said finally. Ordinarily, I would've just asked the ops to boot him, but I'd had too much to drink, so I lifted my top and flashed my bra at him.

That caused a bit of an uproar - I'm well known for never showing. str8guy supported me straight away - "You see - that proves it," he said. "Proves nothing," the other guy said. "How do I know there's anything underneath it?My ten year old wears a bra - doesn't mean she's got tits."

Battle raged for a while, but eventually str8guy intervened again. I kept the room log after that:

str8guy>>> LOL* seems to me like you're going to have to prove it, medusa, just to shut this guy up

thickcock>>> yes do it. show us

medusa>>> dream on guys

player38>>> do it

deril7>>> show more ass doggy style carrie

germanguy_80>>> i would love to see that

juanita>>> just ignore them babe

thickcock>>> medusa with no tits, no titty medusa

On it went for another five minutes, and I kept fending them off. Then str8guy came in again.

str8guy>>> please spare us *LOL* I can't stand any more of this. medusa, just show them, a quick flash to shut them up ;-) The we can get on to something else.

It all seemed light-hearted and fun. It was half past twelve, my wine was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing. I lifted my tee shirt and flicked my bra up, to show my tits. I only flashed for about three seconds - probably a couple of frames on the cam, but the room went crazy. Uproar.

thickcock>>> meduas i take it back. beautiful breasts. very small, but very nice :-)

juanita>>> medusa!!! way to go girl!!!

germanguy80>>> don't tell me i miss it? medusa show again

mcr_22>>> pms welcum ladyes... watch me cum...

thickcock>>> yeah, show again, didn't see properly. such beauties deserve to be seen.

It went on for some time, and I was flattered by the attention. I can't deny it.

str8guy>>> lol you've started something now, medusa. Guess you're going to have to give them their show. You'll never get to bed until you do...

It was all just fun. I was having a good time. I did it. I took my tee-shirt off and then my bra and sat topless. I felt quite proud actually, but really embarrassed at the same time. The guys loved it, and I loved it. Then it all went wrong.

str8guy>>> medusa, may I pm you a moment?

I never usually allow private messages, but then again, I don't usually strip off either.

medusa>>> okay str8guy

[Private message]str8guy>>> Well, Molly Hadley, as I live and breathe. Who'd have thought it? Little Miss Prim and Proper, naked on the internet...

[Private message]medusa>>> who are u?

[Private message]str8guy>>> This is going to be fun. Sweet dreams little Molly. I'll be in touch...

And he logged off. I went all cold and suddenly sobered up completely. Fuck, what have I done? He knows me. He knows who I am. What's he going to do?