Okay, I've had some awful moments in my life. I've had my period take me by surprise, leaving me looking like an extra from a horror movie. I've had to run the last 400 yards home at full-pelt, with my bladder ready to burst. I've farted and felt a horrible, warm dribble down my arse: you see diary, I've known desperation. But I've never known anything like that.

Every step was agony. Those fucking balls are insidious. At first you hardly notice them, and you think they're overhyped rubbish. Then they start to make their presence felt. Especially the one on the outside. The inner ball starts clattering against the outer one, and it hits against your lips, and it starts to feel quite freaky. Then you become more conscious of the one inside you too, and you're not sure whether what you're feeling is real, or if you're just imagining it. But it's academic because whether they're real or not you think you're feeling them, and the more you think about it the stronger they get. Eventually, all you can think about are the sodding sensations building up in your vagina. And what is worse - much, much, much worse - is that all the time you're debating this, gravity is threatening to expel them, so you have to keep contracting your muscles. And that inevitably adds to the sensation. And it's fucking knackering, as well. I staggered along the street towards Appetites, forcing myself to keep the balls in place. This seemed to add to the stimulation, so I would relax, and they would start to fall out. I had to keep stopping, pressing my thighs together like you do when you need a piss, and try to use my vaginal muscles to manoeuvre them back up again. I'm not sure that actually had any effect, but nonetheless I felt compelled to do it.

At one point I was convinced they were dropping and I actually stopped and crouched down on my haunches. Again, I tried to ripple my muscles to pull them back but it made no difference. I looked around furtively and didn't see anyone close by so I quickly pressed my hand up my skirt to poke the second ball back into place.

And the fucking thing already was. It felt like it was sliding out to join the other one, but it was actually perfectly secure. Fuck! A couple came out of the Learning Shop at that moment and I flushed instantly, running my hand over my shoe as though I were trying to adjust it. I stood up quickly and yet again the bastard things felt like they were falling. This time I ignored it and walked on, trying to shut out the curious look I was getting from the Learning Shop folks.

And as soon as I started to walk the damned sensations started up again, like little monsters, tickling and scratching at my insides. Nothing sensational, nothing over-the-top, but all so unbearable. I was almost screaming, my fists clenched, jaw clamped.

It was the ultimate catch-22. I had to keep my legs together to hold them in place, but doing that made the sensations unbearable.

It was the longest short walk I've ever known. I was exhausted by the time I got back. Tess noticed immediately.

"You okay?"

"Fine."

"You look all flushed."

"It's hot out."

"No it's not. It's been raining most of the day."

"Muggy then."

I bit into my cheese scone and ignored her.

[stgr8guy] You're back then

[molly] yes

[str8guy] Open your legs, let me see you.

[str8guy] Oh lovely.

[str8guy] You look a little aroused,, Molly. Polly looks a little puffed.

[molly] aroused? what ever gives u that idea

[str8guy] Play with yourself

[molly] Tess is here

[str8guy] So?

[str8guy] Thank you

[str8guy] Lovely

[str8guy] God, that's amazing, Molly

[str8guy] Your fingers are moving very fast Molly

[str8guy] Are you trying to come?

[molly] y

[str8guy] Close?

[molly] y

[str8guy] God, that was quick. You've only been at it a couple of minutes

[molly] fink bout wot i bin doin the last hr

[str8guy] Even for you, that is taking texting too far, Molly.

[molly] typin 1 handed...

[str8guy] Ah yes, of course

[str8guy] Now I want you to stop playing with yourself.

[molly] ?

[str8guy] You're not finished yet, Molly.

[molly] please

[str8guy] Oh no. Go to McCabe's office. I understand there's a tender out for designing a new Sure Start building in Buckchester. Go and ask him for details about it. Tell him you want to work on it.

[molly] No please.

[str8guy] Now, Molly.

Now, ordinarily with wankus interruptus all the desire and excitement just disappears. It's one of those myths from stories that you are still on the edge of climax for ages afterwards.

Except when you've got fucking duotone balls inside you.

I felt like my insides were being stroked to death. I was in no state to deal with McCabe.

"Molly, nice to see you. How's my favourite donkey tamer?"

"Ah, great thanks."

"Looking a bit flushed. Feeling okay?"

"Yeah fine. Just been working on the budget for the Clowes Manor ESF. I've managed to hide 9% so far, it's quite exciting."

"That's my little Molly, a fish with a nose for the canny penny. I love to see a fish flushed with the juices of making money. What can I do for you?"

"The new tender I heard about. Sure Start?"

"Interested? Can you do it and Clowes Manor at the same time? Don't want to spread you too thinly. Thin Molly, that wouldn't do at all. Not that I'm saying you're fat. Bit chubby maybe, around the hips. Sit still woman, christ you're like a baboon with an itchy arse."

Another set of epiphets for my collection. A chubby-hipped baboon with an itchy arse... Still, it's marginally better than the shit he described me as a couple of weeks ago. He kept me there for half an hour. Told me the story again of how he met Miles Chase, the sleeping partner. "Not that I'd ever sleep with him, of course," he snorted. "I've been shafting him for years, the silly prick, but not that way. Not me, not that way. Molly, do you need the toilet?"

"Yes." I thought it was easier to lie.

"Well why didn't you say so. You know, when I was a kid in primary one I wet myself once. We were standing at the end of the day, singing our goodbye song." And damn me, he burst into song:

"At the end of the day I stand and pray
Thank you lord for my work and play
I try to be good, for I know that I should
That's my prayer at the end of the day."

"Too scared to tell the teacher I needed to go, so I peed in my trousers. Took me years to get over it. Best get to the toilets Molly girl, let it all out. Don't want you getting compromised do we? Close the door on the way out."

I think I'm going to be mentally scarred for life by the sight and sound of McCabe singing a children's hymn while talking about wetting himself. It's too horrible to contemplate.

[str8guy] Sorted?

[molly] sorted

[str8guy] And how do you feel?

[molly] terrible

[str8guy] Still aroused?

[molly] gone way beyond that. just desperate now

[str8guy] Desperate for what?

[molly] to get these fucking balls out

[str8guy] Spread your legs

[str8guy] Polly's still puffed up, Molly

[str8guy] I think you're fibbing a bit

[str8guy] Play

[str8guy] Stroke

[str8guy] That's it

[str8guy] Gorgeous

[str8guy] Is that nice?

[molly] n

[str8guy] No?

[molly] needtocum get bakllss out

[str8guy] Keep stroking. Touch your clitoris

[str8guy] That's it. Gentle rings. I know you like that

[str8guy] Gentle. Soft

[str8guy] Very nice, little Molly.

[str8guy] Now graze your lips with your nal

[str8guy] nail

[str8guy] That's it

[str8guy] Ooh, I think you jumped then

[str8guy] Wast that tender?

[str8guy] Spread them. Spread your lips

[str8guy] Look, I can see the other ball as well now

[str8guy] Isn't that a gorgeous sight?

[str8guy] Miolly's little pink polly, all filled with her duotone ball

[str8guy] Dark and gleaming

[str8guy] You're slowing down, Molly.

[str8guy] Why is that?

[str8guy] You seem close to coming

[molly] tess

[str8guy] Afraid she'll notice?

[str8guy] You've come when she's been there before haven't you?

[str8guy] Expecting something bigger this time?

[str8guy] An explosion, perhaps?

[str8guy] My, I think my little balls have really done the trick, Molly

[str8guy] They've really got you steamed up haven't they?

[str8guy] Little Molly is all turned on by the balls in her cunt

[str8guy] keep stroking molly

[str8guy] keep stroking that cunt

[str8guy] that clitoris

[str8guy] stroke it molly

[str8guy] Lovely

[str8guy] I can see your legs tensing, my dear

[str8guy] I think you're close

[str8guy] Donm't fight it molly

[str8guy] come for me

[str8guy] come for str8guy

[str8guy] I'm telling you to come

[str8guy] Master says

At that moment, for the first time that day, fate smiled on me. Tess took a call and went to reception to pick up a parcel. I had been struggling to keep myself under control: wanking in silence isn't easy when you've been stimulated for nearly two hours.

[str8guy] Speeding up again, Molly. Are you ready?

[molly] y

[str8guy] Excellent. Now when you get to the moment, I want you to slide the second ball out of your cunt, nice and slow. Okay?

[str8guy] Okay?

[molly] y

[str8guy] splendid. Kepp going my dear

[str8guy] Stroke, stroke, slide slide

[str8guy] and pull that string at the vital moment

[str8guy] God, that's an amazing sight

[str8guy] it's almost pulsing, Molly

[str8guy] and you're so wet

[str8guy] so wet

[str8guy] so hot

[str8guy] so hot

[str8guy] Oh

[str8guy] Wow

[str8guy] Molly

[str8guy] Yes Molly, that's it

[str8guy] go go go

[str8guy] Look at the way your muscles tense

[str8guy] And...

[str8guy] oh...

[str8guy] that was somthing else

[str8guy] Quite beautiful, my dear.

[str8guy] are you alright?

[str8guy] Molly?

[str8guy] Molly?

[molly] okay

[molly] just

[str8guy] I think you might have enjoyed that, little Molly?

[str8guy] Ever such a little?

[molly] dont know. cant tell.

[str8guy] You can't tell?

[molly] too intesne. don't know whether that was pleasure or pain.

[str8guy] Oh both, my dear. Both. That's the point.

[str8guy] as I think you know. As I think you're coming to know.

[str8guy] it's the conjunction of mind and body.

[str8guy] Not only does the body have to be doing beautiful things, the mind has to be totally focused on it too.

[str8guy] And what better way of ensuring that than have you do things you shouldn't in places you shouldn't?

[str8guy] Nothing concentrates the mind better than danger...

[str8guy] Wouldn't you agree?

[molly] hmm, i'll reserve judgement on that one.

[str8guy] Just think about it, Molly. Think about the morning you've had.

[str8guy] Better get yourself tidied up now...

[str8guy has quit]

Okay, I don't think I've ever known anything like that. As my climax started I began to slide the ball out. My muscles were contracting, and when it first started to move I let out a wail and when it popped out I screamed. Thank Christ Tess wasn't there.

I never, ever, ever want to do that again.

Fuck.