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Celestial Reviews 275 - April 15, 1998 Note: This issue I have pick-up lines heard round the world and what you could say back to them May I see you pretty soon? Don't you think I'm pretty now? I know how to please a woman. Then please leave me alone. I want to give myself to you. Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts. Your hair color is fabulous. Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store. You look like a dream. Go back to sleep. I can tell that you want me. Yes, I want you to leave. Hey, baby, what's your sign? Stop. I'd go through anything for you. Let's start with your bank account. May I have the last dance? You've just had it. I would go to the end of the world for you. Yes, but would you stay there? Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine. Is this seat empty? Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the world? What's it like being the biggest liar in the world? Haven't I seen you someplace before? Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore. Second note: Following a shipwreck, a 10-year-old boy is the only survivor on a desert island. He grows to manhood, and when he turns 25 there is another storm that destroys another ship. This time a lovely 21-year-old girl is the only survivor. After about 3 weeks on the island she asks him what he does for entertainment. "I dig for clams," is the reply. "What about sex?" she asks. "Sex? What is sex?" he answers. She tries to explain it to him, but is just not getting through. Finally, in frustration she throws him to the ground and demonstrates what sex is. While basking in the afterglow, she hears him sobbing. She turns to him and asks, "What is the matter? Did I hurt you? What's wrong?" He points at his groin and cries out, "Look what you did to my clam digger!" Third note: All of my past Celestial Reviews are now archived at ftp://asstr.ml.org/pub/Collections/Celestial_Reviews/. This is not "my" archive; so don't ask me questions about how it operates or complain to me when it goes down. I have no official web site of my own, but I am usually willing to cooperate with anyone who wishes to post my reviews, and I am grateful for their help. Fourth note: Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A: Both of them. Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |