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* "The New Toy" by Mark Aster (group sex with a
dildo) 10, 10, 10
* "The New Toy" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).. This story begins with these words: "I didn't know they MADE double-ended strap-on vibrating dildos!" This statement is elicited when Pat and Julie receive via UPS an example of this device from Miranda Brannigan, just as Sondra Hernandez (a comely police officer) arrives to return a cup of Folger's coffee. One could get almost a full education reading stories like this. Just look at this excerpt: "Naked and completely unselfconscious, Pat and Julie stood for a moment looking at each other. I sat on the couch, my penis coming quickly to attention, and my skin prickling. Sondra plopped down beside me, her thin muscular haunch up against my hip." This veritable cornucopia of properly placed participial and absolute phrases - all correctly used - would make almost any non-dysfunctional English teacher come on the spot. And look at the cultural anthropology: Sondra Hernandez fucks almost as well as she sounds. Wait a minute! I spy a grammatical problem! "Pat bent down and kissed her delicately on the smooth skin of her inner thigh, then again on her labia. She sighed." It's not really clear who's sighing now - "Who's Sighing Now?" - Isn't that the title of a song by Patsy Cline? The lessons in positional geometry are abundant. Even theology plays a role in this story: ""Oh, God, Pat, oh God just put it IN!" See if you can find the one sentence in this story that brought to my mind my favorite Tom Swifty: "The newlywed was fucking his wife with abandon." This story is a good example of hot sex, but it's also a good example of good writing. I poked fun earlier in this review at the participial and absolute phrases, but aspiring writers could benefit from taking a good look at how this author uses those parts of speech to make a good story even better. Of course, aspiring writers might also benefit from Pat and Julie's lessons on how to handle their new toy. Ratings for "The New Toy" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 |