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Return To the Celestial Review (This does NOT open a new window) Return To the Index (This does NOT open a new window) Note, to make reading multi-part stories easier, story links (links with dejanews.com or www.qz.to, NOT the review or profile links) will open up a new browser window. When you are done reading the story, or section of the story simply CLOSE the story window. |
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"At The Movies" by Rajah Dodger (porn movie & sex) 10, 8, 8
"At The Movies" by Rajah Dodger (rdodger@hotmail.com). The man is watching a porn movie with his lover. While we hear the description of what is happening on the screen, we also hear what they are doing with each other. It's very good action. The main problem with this story is the second-person ("you") perspective. I had one reviewer return this story to me because he said he couldn't get into the perspective, because the author insisted that the reader be a female. When I read it (as a female), I was still distracted. I urge you authors - do NOT write from the "you and I" perspective unless you are doing so for a purpose. If you write a story for your on-line lover, have the patience to revise it for a more general audience before posting it for the world at large. Ratings for "At The Movies" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 |