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Celestial Reviews 264 - March 7, 1998 Note: A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out - a caterer, a band, and a professional clown. Just before the party starts, two derelicts show up at the backdoor looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the derelicts, the woman tells them that she will give them a meal if they first help chop some wood for her out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. {Sexual tension, eh?} The guests arrive, and all is going well. The children are having a wonderful time, but the clown hasn't shown up. After another half hour, the clown finally calls to report that he is stuck in traffic and will probably not make the party at all. The woman is very disappointed. After unsuccessfully trying to entertain the children herself, she happens to look out the window and sees one of the derelicts doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, leaps high into the air, and does midair flips. She calls out to the other derelict and says, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think he would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!" The other derelict replies, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him. HEY JOE! FOR $50, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?" Second note: Sorry about that first joke. I figure if some people tell smutty jokes in polite company, I can occasionally tell a polite joke in smutty company. To make up for that one, here's a quickie: A man is at work one day when he notices that his male co-worker is wearing an earring. He knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." "Yo, Bob, I didn't know you were into earrings." "Oh, yeah. Sure," says Bob sheepishly. "Really? How long have you been wearing one?" "Err... ever since my wife found it in our bed." Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |