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Celestial Reviews 268 - March 21, 1998 Note: A young fellow walks into a talent agent's office and says he wants to break into show-biz. The agent says, "OK, kid, show me what you do." The kid tells some jokes, does a little soft shoe, sings a bit, does an acrobatic act with an ottoman, and is good enough to impress the agent. "Great, kid! Just great!" exclaims the agent. "I can do things for ya! I think I can get you a show on T.V." (This was the early sixties.) "By the way, what's your name?" The young man, proud and excited, replies, "Penis Van Lesbian". "'Scuse me?" questions the agent. "My name is Penis Van Lesbian," repeats the young man. "Hey, I'm sorry kid, you're gonna have to change your name. Nobody is gonna hire you with a name like Penis Van Lesbian". The young man is crestfallen, but steadfastly refuses to change his name; so he leaves to find another agent. A few months later he returns to the same agent. "Hey kid! Good to see ya again!" says the agent. "Are ya still looking for work? Have ya changed your name?" With his head hanging low the young man replies "Yes. Every agent in town turned me down because of my name, Penis Van Lesbian. So I've changed it". "Great, kid, great! What's your new name?" "Dick Van Dyke." Second note: A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery; and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. The friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room at short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention ?" the friend asked. "You look fine to me." "I know !" grinned the patient. "But the Nurses kinda formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required twenty-seven stitches." Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |