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"Love Lessons" by Candy Kane (ff kiddysex) 10, 4 ,6
"Love Lessons" by Candy Kane (rytr33@hotmail.com> ). Guest review by Bronwen. As the heroine so rightly observes: >Lesbianism and bisexuality are everywhere: magazines, >movies, TV, fashion, the Internet. It's impossible to find an adult >movie that doesn't have girl-girl love scenes. And besides, ask any boy >what his number one fantasy is and he'll tell you it's a three-way with >two girls doing him and each other. I guess a story detailing how an 18-year-old babysitter teaches two 12-year- old girls about lesbian sex is such a turn-on for some people they won't care whether it's plausible or authentic. But I do; and, although I don't wish to be too hard on it, this story just doesn't hold together, though I think it might with more work. There's a chunk in the middle which belongs in another story. I'd suggest to the author that when the narrator is obliged to say: 'Anyway, back to my story' it's safe to assume the plot is in trouble. Otherwise, the spelling and grammar are mostly fine, but there's hardly any efforts to provide the participants with characters or feelings. The girls are no more than puppets. I have a bigger problem though, and this leads me on to some very sensitive ground indeed. And this is that although the story is told from a female POV it reads more like a male pedo fantasy than a story told by a lesbian. Readers who download this story because the idea of three girl sex appeals may be squicked by the fact that two of them are pre-teens. I would urge the author to use the correct story code. My guess is that it should be coded "F/ff pedo cons". Ratings for "Love Lessons" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 4 Bronwen (appeal to reviewer): 6 |