about us:
This is the weblog journal of a Mistress, "Miss Emily" and her slaveboy, "puto" exploring a BDSM
based on exploiting the sexual potential of orgasm control and orgasm denial, using some
cock and ball torture and watersports methods.
"puto" is an American man who finds fulfilment in relinquishing control of his dominant
libido driven personality, and insights it gives into his own issue-laden condition.
He enjoys the forsenic examination of his personality as it suffers under tightening
control, and basks in the attention that that entails.
Miss Ginger is puto's life partner and sometime sexual partner.
Miss Emily and puto entered into an intense five month training session during the spring
and summer of 1998, at the end of which puto broke, and fled from his training regime.
Nontheless, puto always regarded himself in Miss Emily's debt for having allowed him to
experience the most intense and fulfilling submissive relationship he'd ever had.
With Miss Emily's permission, puto briefly entered into the service of her sister, Miss Kate,
over the 2000 holiday period, till cut short by outside cirsumstances. Now, Miss Emily
and puto have picked up the tread of their relationship, and seek again to explore themselves
through the lens of submission and control.
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
puto: Wrapped and Jacked
Ms Emily, I apologize for the delay in posting this update. As You know, things at home have been hectic this week. I did wrap my penis Sunday morning inside a two-inch wide elastic bandage, as per Your directions. This mummification is very stimulating, and I've never experienced anything like it. Thank You for Your creativity. As far as enhancement, I feel the addition of a cock ring (or strap) would add nicely to further increase arousal.
I witheld my ejaculation for one day after performing this exercise, and quickly masturbated to orgasm to keep from indulging in pleasure. Please know that my wish for an ejaculatory release was spawned by my desire to return to a state of higher arousal, in which I suffer more intensely for You. As always, I consumed my creamy jism for the privelege You bestowed upon me...
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Saturday, February 22, 2003
Emily: Small Things
Understood puto. OK, if we cannot do the big things, we will do the small things. As your penis is becoming limp, we will strengthen it. In the morning, take a length of bandage and wrap it around your penis, leaving the head open, and around your balls. It should be tight enough to bind, but not so tight as to painfully constrict. Use rubber bands around your cock and balls to hold the bandage firmly in place. Wear this throughout the day. Remove it if it becomes too painful. We don't want it dropping off. Report if this is successfully stimulating and what might be done to enhance it.
As you have choosen to squander your sole point of grace on ejaculating, so be it. You may ejaculate, once only, when convenient. However, you are not so far in my grace as to allow you to enjoy it. Ejaculate as mechanically as possible. The aim is to recharge yourself, not give yourself an enjoyable stimulation. In the light of this, you might want to reconsider your choice. Tough, you should of considered that I would be disappointed by your immediate rush to self-gratify yourself. You are zero points in my favour.
Ms Emily, thank You for granting me one point for my performance. Please know that I placed twenty-five pin pricks into my foot the form the letter "C". The mark has now disappeared.
I am not sure I can perform Your current request without Ms. Ginger knowing. The reasons, which are personal, will be sent to You privately.
In the meantime, know that my erections have passed again into a state of being only half-hard instead of rock-hard, signifying that my body has reached it's teasing limit. With this in mind, I'd like to wipe the slate clean and begin anew, so with my single exisiting point I'd like to ask for permission to ejaculate.
puto. You succeeded in your Feet exercise admirably, though you did not detail how many pricks of the sterile syringe needle were required to brand yourself with my initial. No matter, I award you one point. You are now +1 point in my favour, and may ask a modest gift from me, or withhold your request in order to further ingratiate yourself into my favour.
Tell me when the mark of C has disappeared; you will repeat the exercise with the following extensions:
1. In preparation for the exercise, boil a pan of salty water. Place a strip of bandage of sufficient length to bind the hate foot up to the ankle – leaving the toes open.
2. Prior to studding the hate foot with prinks to brand the letter C, lash the top of the foot repeatedly, until the pale white of the skin is red raw.
3. Afterwards, bandage the hate foot with the hot wet bandage. Leave on for at least 24 hours, and report the experience.
Ms. Emily, I began the fetishising exercise after bathing today, and started by giving my left foot a pampered massage for ten minutes. It was a sensual and enjoyable experience, and as I rubbed my foot I turned the locus of my attention toward sexualizing feet. I then used a sterile syringe needle to form the letter "C" into the top of my right foot. As the tiny spots began to take shape, identifying me as Your property, I found myself with an incredibly hard erection. Scanning my eyes from foot to cock, I anchored the excited state into my foot. Attaching the clothes pegs to the surrounding area of Your inscribed initial, my arousal was further heightened by the pinching, which made my cock throb with increased blood flow. Bouncing wildly in the air, it demanded that I attend it with generous stroking.
I was a bit apprehensive when I donned the rubber gloves to masturbate, knowing that further stimulation might push me over the brink. Also, since I am already suffering for release, I found myself not looking forward to increasing the level of my torment.Yet the idea of receiving pleasure from stroking was a magnetic draw, and one that I could not resist, especially with Your given consent.
The rubber gloves added a new dimension to my wanking. The first noticeable element was the sensation... it felt like another person was stroking my cock. The second element is with regards to lubrication. I normally masturbate without any, but the rubber gloves required the use of lubricant if I was going to obtain any stimulation. Without lubricant, the gloves merely pulled the skin of my cock taut. Breaking open a small vial of water-based jelly, I squirted the contents onto my penis and began stroking. My cock rose to attention, and visualizing myself kneeling before You and gazing upon Your creamy white, slender feet, I imagined I was stroking to present my hard cock to You. Within minutes I was at the edge of orgasm, and squeezing my buttocks and clenching my groin inwards, I held back the explosive surge of my cum without ejaculating, keeping my eyes lowered and upon Your feet.
Resting a minute to regain my composure, I began stroking again, gazing this time at Your ankles and arches. With pulsing cock in hand, my arousal came from the sexualization of Your feet. This caused a second rapid rise to orgasm. Adjusting the pressure of my clasped hand allowed for extended enticement, but eventually I was on the brink of cumming again. I wanted badly to keep teasing myself, but felt I was already too close to the edge, and feared that if I continued along this path I would not be able to control myself. I unburied the reminder that I had planted into my thoughts earlier, namely, that I would remain thankful for the pleasure You've allowed me, provided by the mere stroking of my penis.
As I dressed myself, I observed how my sexuality can be expressed in a multitude of dimensions, and how most anything can be sexualized when I am teased then denied orgasm. The mere thought of feet can presently arouse me.
I have just finished putting two small pebbles into my right shoe, and am about to leave for a walk on the beach with Ms. Ginger. I feel certain that the pressure they exert on my foot will certainly be keeping my focus turned toward how aroused I can become via feet.
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Friday, February 14, 2003
puto: Focused on Feet
Ms. Emily, it's with great joy that I read the gift You grant me. Thank You for allowing me the opportunity to be Your experiment. My current phallocentrism is definitely due to the pounding erections which so powerfully influence my attention, the aching in my loins begging for ejaculatory release.
While feet themselves have never been a large erotic attraction for me, booted feet certainly are, and I have felt the electrical wave of sexual arousal hit me in the crotch on numerous occasions while looking at women wearing certain boot designs. Given the constant state of aching in my crotch right now, however, most anything can easily arouse me.
Please know that I am quite good at giving foot massages, having learned many years ago about the pressure points in the feet that are equated with the body's internal organs. I actually practice on Ms. Ginger often, and pamper Her feet at least twice per week, usually just before retiring for the night. It's a sure-fire way to put Her to sleep quickly, especially if She is stressed.
I plan to begin the exercise today, and will report the results of my experience as soon as possible...
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Thursday, February 13, 2003
Emily: The Gift of Feet
puto. Your discipline seems firm, at least at this early stage of your new period of denial. It seems, however, terribly phallocentric. Perhaps that’s only natural. But I find natural commonly overrated. So as an experiment in displacement or distraction or dislocating your mind from its penis tyranny, I’m going to make you focus on an under appreciated aspect of your anatomy, and explore the pleasures and pains it can stimulate.
I want you to focus your erotic energies on feet. I presume this is not a strong erotic area for you, as I don’t recall feet majoring in any of your meanderings before – with one noble except, the desire to worship at my feet.
1. For the duration of this exercise, you are permitted to auto-stimulate yourself as the urge dictates. The stipulations of not touching yourself directly, without gloves, continues as before. The only difference is that you may masturbate. Of course, you may not ejaculate. The length and frequency of masturbation is at your discretion. However, the subject of your masturbation must be feet: toes, soles, ankles – yours, mine, other peoples. You may not consider any other body part, and most especially, may not look upon my face.
2. You will choose one of your own feet to be your “love foot”. You will groom it attentively, granting it foot baths, bathing it in oils, massaging it. If you are inexpert at foot massages, conduct research to learn how to pleasure the foot. If she is amenable, without pushing or pestering, offer to practice what you have learnt on Miss Ginger’s feet.
3. The other foot will be your “hate foot”. Place small stones in your shoes – note that the aim is to be constantly aware of the discomfort, not to make you lip lamely. Use needles to tattoo a pattern of bloodspots marking out the letter C across the top of your foot. I suggest 20 needle points, but the aim is to ensure the letter is distinct, so act accordingly. Surround the letter C with the pinch marks made by a circle of clothes pegs.
4. Report on how this fetishisation changes the nature and type of experience you have. Does it displace: changing the locus of your sexual experience from your phallis to your feet? Does it distract: offering a novel interlude that will tire and recentre itself back on your phallis. Does it dislocate: uncomfortably change how you view your erotic drive and make you aware that arousal is possible by the act of will to sexualise.
Note, this activity is a gift, not a punishment. You still of Zero points in my grace, but a weeks holiday is nearly upon me and it’s obviously making me feel charitable.
Ms. Emily, my body has returned to waking with hard, full erections. This one happened in the middle of the night, awakening me from deep sleep. My focus of course, turns to You, the keeper of my ejaculations. Daily now I have to override the natural urge to stroke, touch, thrust, and rub it, replacing my cocks desire for instant gratification with the new behaviours of Your regiment. It's especially important, and sometimes difficult, to keep this focus while not fully awake. "You are here to serve Ms. Emily" I tell it, goading it into submission.
"New behaviour"...I repeat the words. "Five distinct ways....devotion, training, punishment, gifts, petitions". Another day begins with offering You the gift of my continued devotion, denying myself orgasmic release. Even without direct stimulation I have entered the stage of suffering, my cock wanting the sweet release of a good hard cum. Yet only eight days have passed since You allowed me this privelege. Those several ejaculations didn't even feel rewarding, given the circumstances.
If my body takes the route it did last time, another week will pass before this suffering dissolves into complete surrender, then acceptance. A shiver runs through me, the cold, tingling delight of my arousal releasing its surge up my spine. I breathe deeply, looking toward You for support. "Ms. Emily is my pillar", I chant to myself. Pillar, eh! I wonder where that came from???....the double entendre quite self-evident. "Oh what I wouldn't do to have an orgasm right now!" "I had no idea You were going to collar me so tightly, turning me into a lifestyle submissive."
Only half-awake, my sub-conscious churns more thoughts like the ones above. Spacey and exhausted, I drift back to sleep, glad to be in the position of becoming a full-time slave.....
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Monday, February 10, 2003
puto: Fresh and Renewed
Ms. Emily, thank You for allowing me back into Your grace. I cringe when You are unhappy with me, and don't really like it when I put You in such a position, for I want You to be happy AND proud of my submissive performance.
Thank You too, for granting me permission to exfoliate the dead skin from my cock. Since I had a stiff nail brush handy, it was the implement I used to clean my penis while showering. It's dark green handle nicely matched the light green dish gloves I wore to perform the task. Beginning well beneath my genitals, I generously lathered myself, then pressed the brush firmly into my perineum and worked my way forward. The sensation was quite pleasureable, and my penis began to stir. Working up towards my scrotum felt even better, and when I reached them I scrubbed deeply, with firm pressure. I did so because I knew their tough skin was able to withstand the abrasiveness of the stiff bristles. Besides, I wanted to make certain they were well cleaned and exfoliated. When it came time to attend my penis, I stretched it outwards while scrubbing, to ensure I cleaned every nook and cranny. As I stroked the back of the head lightly with the stiff bristles, my cock awakened more, blood filling its veins until I was fully erect. Jolts of energy ran through my cock and up my spine as it engorged itself. Shiny, pink skin revealed my fully healed crown, glowing brightly in the reflected light. Turning from pink to red, the stroking with stiff bristles could have easily bruised my sensitive meatus again, so I stopped.
Enjoying the sensation in my hard cock, I thought about the reassertion of Your control of my orgasms. It made my member twitch, and my breath grew short. With rapid pulse I could feel my heart pump wildly as my central nervous system shook. A moment later I feared having to go through the suffering equated with weeks one and two of being teased, then denied orgasm. Keeping my hands off my cock is one thing, but being made to stroke to the edge then withold is entirely another! Yet in a queer way I looked forward to this possible suffering, knowing that the reward of an eventual ejaculation would be something to look forward to. I can't help but wonder what You have planned for me next.
My thoughts finally turned to what I might wish to ask for once I have gained some points, and of course ejaculating was high on the list. But then I also thought about forgoing this for other favors, such as being permitted to view pornography again, or maybe asking for permission to Worship You with a mantra while lying face down on the floor with a quart of water up my arse. Hmmmm....these are just ideas at the moment, and I am unsure what I will truly ask for when the time arrives. Without further stimulation, I watched as my cock softened, renewing my vow to follow Your orders without question or hesitation. As always, thank You for keeping me in this humbled position....
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Saturday, February 08, 2003
Emily: Personal Hygiene
Hmmm, yes – men can be so lackadaisical in their personal hygiene regimes it’s easy to overlook that you maybe sharing your body with several millions of bugs. OK, you may touch yourself in order to adequately clean yourself. However, you may not do it directly. Wear gloves – rubber or latex – while cleaning yourself. And since you have not cleaned yourself for several days, use a stiff bush – such as a nail brush or new tooth brush - to properly exfoliate around your penis and testicles. This may give you an erection. This is fine. You conducted yourself fairly well in your masturbation marathon, and I am inclined to bring to a neutral place in my grace: you now have zero points. You are on the threshold of being granted the opportunity to ask things of me. You might want to reflect on what that might be.
For the moment, I am content to continue the ban on touching sex – hygiene apart – and by extension, reasserting control of your orgasm. But I am concerned about you narrowing down your world view to the tip of the pain you last enjoyed. So you will report on the condition of your relations with those around you – taking appropriate regard for their privacy.
Ms. Emily, I'd like to report that my cock is quickly healing again. Did you know that the skin of the penis doesn't really scab? I didn't, until now. The watery, open wound on my cock's head basically began forming new skin within two days. Once the wound closed it began shedding the old skin, and this has been peeling away rapidly as the new skin beneath forms.
As per Your standing order, I have not touched myself since last masturbating. Please note however, that my cock is becoming a bit pungent smelling from not soaping and scrubbing while in the shower.
Also, I had my first full strength hard-on last night while preparing for bed. I was thinking about You when this happened, and while I don't normally get erections without direct stimulation, this is a sure sign of how attached to You I have become. As I drifted off to sleep, pleasing thoughts about our intense, incredible relationship filled me, and I found myself drifting into Your arms for further alignment with Your will.
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Thursday, February 06, 2003
puto: Reverence
Miss Emily, please know I'm practicing my latest abolition with calmness and control, focusing on a return to Your grace. The first time I sat to urinate without touching myself, I thought about Your re-entry into my life, remembering that You are here not only to take control of my lust, but that You are also here to train me in providing exemplary submissive service. I am so accustomed to shaking the little extra piss out of my penis when finished urinating, that rising off the toilet without doing so brought a lot of self consciousness to the act. I'm sure I dribbled a little pee into my underpants as I broiught them over my waist. And this morning I had to lean deeply forward on the toilet to pee without shooting my urine outside the toilet bowl, a result of the hard-on created by my full bladder. My cock is healing rapidly, and I estimate that my wounds will be healed in a couple short days.
My reverence for You grows as You humble me on daily, and I am willing to accept and perform all arduous tasks You might lay before me, in appreciation for having the privelege of being Your submissive-slut-servant. I've never felt so bound to any Mistress as I am with You, the invisible ropes tossed across space tethering me to Your will 24/7. As You draw me more tightly into You, I find myself more and more desirous of giving You deep, deep pleasure....wanting to provide You with hard, intense, long orgasms. I wish for You to have these at my expense, with the knowledge that I suffer, worship, adore, and cherish You more deeply than what any of my words can convey. It is with conscious intention that I project the energy of my witheld ejaculations, so that my sexual arousal and passion may be absorbed by Your body, to provide YOU with deep and intense pleasure.
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puto: A Haiku for You
Miss Emily, thank You for allowing me this period of rest before begining the next stage of my total enslavement. I am greatly thankful for the firmness with which You are taking charge, and feel quite humbled by the experience undertaken during the last two days. My cock is shredded and in pain, both from the beatings and the intense masturbation session, which further added to it's defilement. The intensity of the punishment clearly shows the direction of our relationship, and I remain very happy to have You as my Mistress and emasculating cockowner.
As per Your current order, I shall keep from touching my cock until given Your explicit permission. Please know that I have had to sit to pee since having my penis pierced several years ago. If I didn't sit while peeing, I would spray everywhere because of the vertical bar that passes through my cocks head, which pierces right through my urethra.
I don't know if You still consider me in disgrace at this point, but feel that I should be behaving in one of the five distinct ways You mentioned in Your post regarding new rules. Since You didn't mention anything to this effect in Your most recent post, I am taking it upon myself to offer You a gift. I feel this is the most appropriate behaviour to exhibit, given my circumstances. Please accept this little haiku as a token of my appreciation....
A hard bloody cock receiving the whips grand kiss I whisper thank You
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Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Emily: R n R
Good. Now rest awhile. Go build or fix something with those handy hands. Just keep them off your cock - completely. That includes not holding your cock to urinate. Sit down, like a girl, if you have to. Also dressing yourself, etc. No holding, no dressing, no hand down the trousers rearranging, no stratching, nor any of the other charming opportunities men get to fondle themselves. I want the little chappie healed of marks and bruises, before we have another stab at him ... so to speak.
Miss Emily. I've been masturbating and ejaculating as much as possible during the last twenty-four hours, as per Your orders. I have cum six times during the last day. After performing my punishment yesterday I began wanking as soon as I had the opportunity, which was at bedtime. I wanked two times before falling asleep, and my orgasms were stronger and more enjoyable than the first one. I ate my cum as tribute, and as a way of saying thank You, for allowing me this privelege. Masturbating is intense, because of the tenderness of my swollen penis and ravaged wounds, which are open again at the head, and watering just like the previous time. I awoke in the middle of the night with a firm erection, and masturbated yet again. Spewing cum onto my belly, I scooped it into my hand, then let it drip into my mouth.
I had to awaken early to do some maintanence work for two older women who own homes next to one another, and didn't have the opportunity to ejaculate again until mid-afternoon, while I was performing duties at the second ladies house. She was away, and this provided me a chance to follow Your order while alone in her home. The thrill of being in a strange enviornment made me cum really hard. I dropped my pants in her bathroom, and while standing in front of the full length mirror pulled my cock to full hardness. Ejaculating onto the tile countertop, I again cleaned my cum using my mouth, with hopes of entertaining You. After finishing my work I repeated the performance, only this time masturbating while in her bedroom. This woman has some nice boots, so kneeling before a pair, I lowered my face and began licking and kissing, visualizing myself before You. The pungent smell of the leather made me quite excited, and I ejaculated rather quickly onto the hardwood floors. I lapped the spunk again, being careful to lick every drop and not leave evidence.
Upon returning home I jumped into the shower, where I wanked yet again. This time my cock was tiring, and I did use anal stimulation to push me to ejaculation. Lathering my right hand with soap, I inserted my middle finger as deep into my rectum as it would go, then proceeded to slide it in-and-out as I pulled my cock and rubbed my tender crown. The hot water splashing the open wound on my meatus created a burning sensation, as it did last time I had been punished. It took a bit longer to reach climax, but eventually I erupted a small load of spunk into my left hand, then immediately consumed it.
As I write this, I am nearing exactly twenty-four hours since I performed my punishment, and so will ejaculate one more time before denying myself again, then shall wait for further orders.
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Tuesday, February 04, 2003
puto: I've Repeated my Punishment
Miss Emily. Salt, cheese grater, and whip. With these items gathered for the second installment of my punishment, I strip off my clothes and begin. Pinning my cock between right index finger and thumb, I stretch it out and press it into the desktop. Long strokes are drawn up the shaft with the cheese grater, beginning from the base. Pubic hair becomes entangled in the metal teeth and is pulled from its root. I drag the metal pricks over the head...the sensation is pleasant...it feels like I'm being strafed with sharp finger nails, and it's arousing. Blood flows into my cock, and the shaft expands. Still, I only become about three-quarters hard. I alternate the strokes..... slow, hard, fast, soft, intermediate....changing pressure and speed continuously, strafing all sides of the shaft and head. Minutes are spent attending the sweet spot on the crown. Small streaks of redness begin appearing, and soon after tiny trickles of liquid redness begin flowing from the shredding skin.
Pumping my cock with bare hand, I turn the device to my balls, which were neglected during the last session of punishment. Pressing the grater deeply into the thick, tight flesh, I rub the metal tool briskly in a back-and-forth motion. Tingles shoot through me, raising my heartbeat. More blood fills my cock, but it still doesn't grow to full firmness. Ejaculate rushes through the shaft and into the head, preparing for release, so I stop stroking, squeeze my buttocks, and pull back....."Not yet" says an internal voice.
After a moment to recentre, I reach for the sandpaper, knowing what it will do to my cock. Wrapping it around the semi-hard shaft, I begin stroking with my left hand. The grater is put to my ballsac again, its sides now rubbing my inner thighs as well as my scrotum. I pump the flesh in my hand firmly, and again the feeling is pleasurable. I don't know if it's the sexual arousal that makes my cock unaware that it's being shredded, but I continue to stroke with fervor. Floating in the sensation for some minutes, I ultimately stop to take a peek behind the sandpaper, revealing a ravaged cock.....the meatus is raw, with opened skin, tiny stripes of blood surround the shaft, and my balls are scuffed and swollen.
The sight of my decimated penis informs me that it's time to move to the next phase of punishment, and putting the scraping tools aside I reach for the small whip. The short, braided falls are stiff, made of rawhide. The rounded tassles on the end are hard too, and it's these tips that I aim at the head of my cock. With a fast swoop I drop the first lashing. It lands on target with a hard smack, and I wince as the pain sears deep into my cockhead. Intently, I use more force, landing the second and third blows with added intensity. A whimper leaves my lips, but I don't falter, and hit my cock with two more blows, this time aiming for the shaft. It shrinks rapidly, in an attempt to offer less striking surface, so I take a moment to pamper and arouse another erection. When ready, I take aim at the head again, and throw five more hard lashings. The pain is intense, searing deeply into the head of my cock, and my groin pulls reflexivly inward as an escape. But there is no escape, and I know what I must do. More stroking brings on another erection, then another round of hard whipping. Expressions of the intensity leave my lips, and I groan in pain. I thank You for this opportunity to serve and degrade myself for You. Last session I was only able to take thirty lashes for You....this time I'd like to take more if I am able. Not to show-off or over do, but more as an attempt to entertain and please You. I don't know yet whether I'll be able to handle more, however.
I advance the pace of the blows, swinging with abandon. My erection is entirely gone, and my penis has shrunk to a small, blunt stub. Like a turtle pulling in its neck from danger, the head tries to hide in my foreskin. I aim for the back of the head, which is half hidden in skin, and release the next barrage of blows. Series of five have worked well, but this time I decide to land ten hits onto the offending member. My body trembles, and again the reflex to pull away makes my groin pull itself into my body. I override the impulse with an internal order, and push forth my cock to expose it for further lashings. The intensity of the ten blows almost overwhelms me...I grit and grunt and whimper in pain. I change the pace of the strikes, not keeping a regular interval, so as to confuse my body.
After a total of forty lashings I lower myself onto my knees and look at my beaten cock. Soft and short, it is swollen and thick. The head is rubbed raw, and the shaft is marred with numerous streaks of blood. Silenty, I begin rubbing salt well into all my wounds. The bite doesn't seem as intense as the last time I performed this punishment, perhaps because I'm partially numb from the lashings. Nonetheless, the salt still stings. Setting a timer, I place my hands behind my head and remain on my knees, focusing on Your control of me. I thank You aloud for humbling me, and search for a mantra to repeat. "I am here for full and intensive training" are the words that come to mind, and I begin repeating them, at first silently, then aloud.
The bell rings, and I proceed to the next step of my punishment. Moving to the bathroom, I put my penis into the open mouth jar, and release what piss is in my bladder. Then, sitting on the toilet, I slowly pour some of the golden liquid onto my cock, and begin to rub it in. The salt crystals break down, and begin to rinse away. I pour a little more piss onto my cock and repeat the procedure. I'd like to have a drink of the warm piss...Your piss..but I know that I am in disfavor, and don't have permission to imbibe Your golden nectar. I let the urge pass through me, and use the rest of the pee to rinse the remaining salt from my cock.
Back in the bedroom, I get onto my knees again, and acknowledge that I am finally going to ejaculate after months of waiting. I wonder how much cum will flow from my ravaged cock. I open the masturbation program on my computer, and choose some photos to use as stimulation. It is nice to again be permitted to look at porn, and I choose three of my favorites, which will rotate as the session advances. Anointing myself with oil, I begin rubbing it tenderly into my shaft. The skin is hot to the touch, a result of the friction caused by the whip. I cup my balls in my free hand and squeeze gently, which always provides a nice stimulus for me. The cock in my hand grows again as I look at the photos in the slide show.
I masturbate, debasing myself for You in this position of submissiveness. The feeling is intense...my cock aches and burns with each stroke, yet beneath the pain is excitement. The first photo is of a woman sitting atop a man, holding his lassoed cock in one hand while settling her arse into his face. My cock feels the excitement as I visualize myself in such a position beneath You, yet remains only half erect. The next photo is of a woman kneeling above a man, pissing into his mouth. It too, excites me, and I again place myself in this degradatory place beneath my Mistress. The cum in my balls surges forth, and I want the pleasure to last longer before I spew my load, so I change the pace of my stroking, slowing down and lessening the pressure of my squeeze. The third picture is presented....in this one a man and woman are on their knees before another man who is reclining in a chair. The woman is holding reclining man's cock in her hand, and is feeding it to the man on his knees...he has the cock in his mouth.
The pictures rotate every five seconds, and I make it through three rotations before I can no longer hold my load. My cum surges again, and this time I don't hold back. The feeling of ejaculation is a bit strange....something foreign at this point. It isn't very pleasurable or strong, and this adds to the strangeness. I've become accustomed to being only half-erect, but thought that I'd surely have a strong, hard cum when allowed to ejaculate after all these months. Ejaculate spurts from me, splattering the floor. Four pulses later I'm finished. Approximately half a teaspoon of my sticky, white jism puddles in various places, and I'm surprised, as I thought there'd be more. Lowering my face to the largest glob, I sniff, then slurp it into the back of my throat, hoping to delight You with my self degradation. Slowly I swish it around my mouth, allowing the flavor to permeate my tastebuds. I move to the next clump of spunk, lower my face again, and suck it into my mouth. Repeating the process, I make sure to lick each clump, until the floor is glistening with my saliva, cleaned of the tiny, white globules.
As I reach closure, I remind myself of the nature and direction of my relationship with You, internalizing the punishment as a necessary element of my training as Your complete slave. I realize how lucky I am to be in this position, and promise myself that I will bind myself to You more tightly for further training, no matter how challenging or difficult it may be.
The next stage begins, and I will be masturbating and ejaculating as much as I can throughout the next twenty-four hours. I feel confident that my erections will become stronger and harder with exercising the ejaculatory muscles, and will return to their normal state soon...
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Sunday, February 02, 2003
puto: Almost Healed
Miss Emily, my penis is healing much more quickly than anticipated, and it appears I will be able to perform the second punishment either tomorrow or the day after. The swollen skin of my cockshaft is subsiding, though a small amount of puffiness remains. Also, the head still shows signs of being abused, with redness and abrasions still apparent, but the skin is no longer open and is therefore no longer producing liquid. Since I am going to be permitted to ejaculate after my next punishment, is there anything specific You want me to do with my creamy spunk?
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