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Celestial Reviews 295 - July 22, 1998 Note: As seen in Ann Landers column July 16, 1998: Men think computers should be referred to as females just like ships because: 1) No one but the Creator can understand their internal logic. 2) The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3) The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, I'm certainly not going to tell you." 4) Your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 5) As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. --------------- Women think computers should be referred to as male. Here's why: 1) They have a lot of data, but they are still clueless. 2) They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half of the time, they ARE the problem. 3) As soon as you commit to one, you realize if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model. 4) In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 5) A big power surge will knock them out for the rest of the night. Second note: Remember the Fourth Celestial Story Contest: < About 50 years ago Ray Bradbury wrote a story called "The Veldt." In that story a family has a nursery for their children that includes what we would now call a virtual reality playroom. When the children go into the playroom, they get the authentic feeling of being in an actual veldt - a jungle area populated by mysterious and dangerous animals. Complications arise when the playroom takes on a life of its own - when the virtual reality becomes more real than virtual. You can imagine what happens when Mom and Dad decide to close down the playroom - or you can read the story (which is in Bradbury's book entitled "The Illustrated Man) to see how Bradbury handles the ending. Your job is to write a story based on the general premise of a virtual reality playroom. Feel free to change almost everything. You can have adults rather than children, and you don't need non-human animals at all. In fact, it might be best not to even look at Bradbury's story at all - let your own imagination have full play. Bradbury's story is actually a Frankenstein story with a moral - what happens when we fail to understand technology and its limitations? Your story doesn't have to be like that at all. You don't even need to know that Bradbury himself once said that "man's machines are indeed symbols of his most secret cravings and desires, extra hands put out to touch and interpret the world." Post your stories as you feel they are ready. Send me a copy. Deadline is August 24. < Third note: Is there anyone out there who would like to review the receently reposted story entitled "Picket Fences"? My opinion is that it would be best that the reviewer be a fan of the series. Contact me if you are interested. Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |