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Return To the Celestial Review (This does NOT open a new window) Return To the Index (This does NOT open a new window) Note, to make reading multi-part stories easier, story links (links with dejanews.com or www.qz.to, NOT the review or profile links) will open up a new browser window. When you are done reading the story, or section of the story simply CLOSE the story window. |
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"Shopping" by Sam (exhibitionism) 7, 4, 4
"Shopping" by Sam (tievol@hotmail.com). --- I suspect Sam doesn't give a damn whether I like his story or not. But I read this entry expecting to find a story, and so I think I'll go ahead and write a review to help someone else avoid the same mistake. What we have here is an IDEA for a story. Two people like to have sex where they might get caught. And so they do. Have sex that is - not get caught. Twice. My suggestion to Sam is to develop a story with a focus. Sam himself probably sees this story in a richer context than the one he wrote it in. He should share that context with us. As it is, this story is analogous to telling some funny things that happened instead of telling a joke. The difference is that the joke has a build-up and a climax - it's a story instead of a list of events. Ratings for "Shopping" Athena (technical quality): 7 Venus (plot & character): 4 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4 |