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Celestial Reviews 287 - June 10, 1998 Note: There once were two beer guzzlers who wanted something to drink. They had only a $1.50 between them. One guy said to the other, " I have an idea." He told his friend to buy a hot-dog from a nearby stand and to bring it back to the alley where they were sitting. Then they went into a bar and ordered two beers. By the time the bartender came to get the money they had finished their drinks, and the first guy had stuck the hot dog in his pants zipper and the second guy was bent over and sucking it. The bartender called them a couple of queers and kicked them out. They did this routine for 8 or 10 more bars until they were totally blitzed and back in the alley. In the alley the second guy turned to the first and said, "I'm hungry. Where's the hot-dog?" The first guy responded, "I dropped that 5 bars ago." Second note: Aesop tells about the lioness who was walking through the woods and got a thorn stuck in her foot. She saw a mouse passing and asked him to help her get the thorn out. The mouse asked, "What do I get in return?" The lioness replied, "If you get it out, I'll have sex with you." So the mouse gets busy taking the thorn out. When he finally gets it out, he looks up at the lioness and says, "OK, it's out; are you ready?" The lioness thinks, "Hey, what's a little mouse gonna do anyway?" The mouse climbs up and starts to work away. Just then a monkey in a tree overhead drops a coconut on the elephant's head." Ouch!" yells the elephant; and the mouse responds, "Yeah! Take it all, bitch." Third note: A salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. It's opened by a 4 year old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whisky in the other and a hard core porn magazine tucked under his arm. Salesman: "Hello sonny. Are your parents home?" Little boy: "What the fuck do you think?" Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |