Welcome to my website. My name is Rachael. I was born in
1982 and I grew up in Minnesota and Washington state. I have a
degree in English Literature and I'm currently working as a Research
Assistant for a social anthropologist who also happens to be my
husband.
I'm small, smart, and hyper-active and I have an amazing
sense of humor, although I'm a lot funnier in person. I like to make
fun of the sorts of things most people get sort of uptight about.
Like God, for example. That's usually a pretty funny subject and
yes, I do believe in God and He's a male being, I'm sure. He also
has a great sense of humor too, or else I'm fucked.
Uh, I have zero children, personally. My husband says he
doesn't have any either, but he lies about stuff like that. He's
Sadistic, in a good and controlled way, which is nice because I'm a
submissive masochist by nature. He was my Top for 5 years before we
were married and the only reason he married me was so I'd take the
RA job. He's safe, sane, and consensual...I say two out of three
ain't bad. I'll leave it to you to figure out which one of those I
happily lack.
I speak a lot of languages. I collect things compulsively.
I write all the time, if only in my head...like during church. I'm a
seriously devout catholic and I love it. I get a lot of work done
during church. I drink too much and smoke not enough. I adore
sex, a lot more now than I used to. I used to hate it. I love my
dog. I mean I LOVE my dog, a lot more than anyone else, except maybe
my dad. I LOVE my dad too, but he doesn't respond to it the way my
dogs do. He's too normal.
There should be a law against being normal.
My goal in life is to be an underachiever. I got off to a
pretty good start, but then I screwed it up when I discovered that I
have a real talent for going to college. Luckily for me, I can spend
the rest of my life collecting degrees. I'm working on my first PhD.
right now and after I get that, I'll start working on another
one.
I have a girlfriend. Her name is Nining and she looks and
acts just like a boy. She has a little beer belly and she's horny
like a sixteen year old, I swear. She's got one thing on her mind
and my husband thinks she's pretty funny. I met Nining in a karaoke
bar. She's a terrible singer.
Meet a girl you can bring home to dad!
Jane is a part-time babysitter!
A Few Words About My Stories...
I started writing when I was 13 and I got a diary for my
birthday. Actually I got the diary when I was 12, but I ignored it
for a year. Once I started keeping my diary I was hooked. I wrote my
first "erotic" story when I was about 15 I suppose, sort of a love
letter more than anything else, to a teacher I had, but he never read it.
Thank God!
In 2000 I was pretty depressed. I'd been depressed
actually, since about 1998 when I had to move to Seattle. Well,
truthfully it was going downhill before then. I was a wild child of
the worst sort. Drugs, sex, and whatever, it was all good. So I
wrote a lot of suicide notes disguised as short, semi-autobiographic
stories. Then I found out I could post them online and so I became a
snuff artist, although my interest in snuff was largely more an
interest in my own.
With the help of lithium, effexor, group, my shrink, my
boyfriend (sometimes) and my dad, I started getting better and so I
started writing about other things.
I started wanting to do more mainstream stuff, but not
boring stuff, which unfortunately is pretty much the same thing for
me. I'm really into thinking about weird stuff and almost anything
turns me on, if I think about it hard enough and try to see what's
really going on. It's easy to dismiss a theme or a fetish and say,
well it doesn't do anything for me, or it turns me off, but when I
think of a person who is into it and try to approach the idea
through their eyes, then a subject becomes much more accessible.
Of late I've been writing under a lot of different pen
names, new ones like "Uziel" and "High School Sweetheart" and "Evil
Little Sister" ...It gives me a certain sense of freedom to go in
different directions and avoid expectations. I've always been a
coward, basically. In the past I've used "Samantha Ross"..."Lisa
Pavageau"..."Rebecca Stancil"... And of course, my real name :)
The cool thing is that all of the names are real and some
of them are really mine. Writing and especially posting porn is a
lot like playing hide and seek with the people who know me. I don't
know if I'm just impatient, or it's my thing for guilt, but I do
like to tease. I know that much. I like trouble too, not bad
trouble, but like controversy. I really am an anarchist and I
believe conflict is a natural state of the universe. It's always
done right by me and when I'm not in opposition with something or
someone, blah...Life is boring then.
Many of Seattle's Best Escorts
can speak your language!
Calista speaks Canadian!
A Few Words About What I Like...
People ask me all the time if I'm into what I write about,
or if I really have a great and exciting life that I'm leading.
Uh...I'm sorta like everybody else I think, but there are
differences. One thing, for sure, is that I travel three hundred
days out of the year. I meet a LOT of different people and I mean
through school, through work, and through just having fun. I'm a
people person, not a shut-in or reclusive, or even particularly shy.
I'd say like 90% of the dialogue in my stories comes from real
conversations I've had with real people at some point. Or
conversations I've overheard and been a part of, at least. I'm
blessed with clever friends and I can be kinda quick with the wit
myself, so it's fun, talking for me is essential. I can't shut
up.
Gosh, I don't want to sound like a nymphomaniac or
whatever. But...
Am I into it? Yeah...I'm into everything I write, at least
for the moment. My real fetishes are bestiality and
submissive/humiliation, and I'm a lesbian pretending to be hetero.
My kicker turn-on, the one that does me in, is being spit on
actually, in the face by another girl. Another woman my own age.
Grabbed by the hair, slapped maybe, and just spit on ...And then
watching her fuck my husband. I have no idea why that turns me on so
much, but it does. I've never written about that specifically.
Weird.
We accept cash, all major credit cards,
and food stamps too!
Debbie will do anything for Skittles!
A Few Words About Questions...
I get a lot of emails and a lot of questions, like writing
stories makes me wise or something. Probably the number one question
I get asked is:
"Do you really have
sex with dogs?"
...Yes, I do. My husband knows, but
doesn't participate, or even watch. It isn't his thing.
"Where do you live?"
...I
consider myself living in Seattle, but in reality we live in Asia at
the moment. I'm half Filipina, my mother was from the Philippines,
and she was really more Spanish than indigenous, so I look like a
little brown Mexican :)
"What's the weirdest thing you've
ever done?"
...I'm never sure what people are asking
here, uh weird is a relative term. I'd say getting married was
weird. Having sex with a bunch of strange guys at a party was weird.
Giving my Masters Dissertation was extremely weird, especially when
no one laughed.
"What's your best/favorite
story?"
...I limit my response to 'rache' stories
and so I'd say the one I think is technically best is "Little
Birds" because of the pacing, the plot, and the consistency of
the story in general. "World Beneath" is probably a very
close second, but for very different reasons. My favorite story of
mine is "About Penguins" because it just makes me laugh.
"Where can I find your Tinkerbell
book?"
...You'd have to get pretty lucky. There's
only about forty copies in existence and I spent my own money and
gave them away as gifts. It's a small collection of prose, poetry,
and short fiction, and when I'm famous they'll be worth more than
they cost me to be printed...I hope.
"Will you send me a picture of
yourself?"
...My
usual response to this is to decline, unless the email is a really
good one and the reason for that is because I've always found it
sort of rude, actually. There is a picture of me on this site
though, someplace. I honestly can't remember where.
Many of our girls are attending college!
Samantha is majoring in high school.
Social
Commentary
Is Madonna really the Anti-Christ?
or just an underachiever?
Where
Are They Now Files!
The lesbian gimmick was only good
for one hit single...
Maybe Tatu should buy a dog
and start a comeback tour!
Defining
Womanhood
wom·an·hood (w¢m¹en-h¢d´) noun
1. The state or time of being a woman.
2. The composite of qualities thought to be appropriate to or representative of women.
3. A subjective state of mind defined by circumstances dictated by
random chance.
4. Women considered as a group...
"The true worth of a race must be measured
by the character of its womanhood."
- Mary McLeod Bethune
"There are only three things to be done
with a woman. You can love her,
suffer for her, or turn her into literature."
- Lawrence Durrell
A Few Words About Being Schizophrenic...
Kylie X
- One day I was looking through a collection of
Interracial Erotica, you know...pornography...and I was struck by
the awe inspiring fact that 75% of it seemed to be white women
getting fucked by black men. Of the remainder, 20% were Asian women
being fucked by everyone, and a measly 5% of the hundreds of stories
I looked at (and I was counting) were black girls with white men.
Well, it certainly seemed like someone had to do
something about that, and darn quickly too! So I called my good
friend Kylie X. (no relation) and I said, "Hey girlfriend, how
about writing something about all that white penis you love so
much?" and Kylie, being a black slut for white cock like she
is, readily agreed.
It's nice having friends you can count on in a
pinch. If you've been looking for a black woman who loves white men,
then you've come to the right place. The next rocket for Planet
Kylie is leaving as soon as you push the big red button, or at least
select the link I've gone through all the trouble of providing you
with below.
Just remember, Kylie writes about interracial love
and romance and very little else, although she does have a pretty
funny sense of humor. Being a black girl in love with white guys,
well...I suppose she needs it, huh?
T.S. Severe
- After a few years
of writing snuff and necrophilia, I wandered into mainstream porn.
I'm not sure why or even how, exactly, probably because I'd been
conned into contributing to a couple high profile lesbian E-Zines
and then I was doing photo-stories for a few sites, and I even
started contracting out some bestiality for free subscriptions and
the odd check-in-the-mail here and there. It was strange, but in my
heart of hearts I was always a hopeless romantic. Lesbianism,
Bestiality, and especially necrophilia all lend themselves well to
romance.
It was pure chance however that my
snuff/necro connection led me into a friendship with Gabby, who is
transgendered and just about one of the coolest people I know. She
got me thinking, in an indirect sort of way, about human sexuality
and the incredible influence gender has on every other aspect of our
lives. I started wondering why, which is always my favorite
question. But rather than get into gender theory, it will suffice to
say that exploring the world through transgendered eyes seemed like
an interesting thing to do. So, I called up an old war buddy of mine
from Bangkok, a person who may or may not be a man or woman, or
both, we're not sure.
TS writes about all things
transgendered and she was penning those sorts of stories before I
even knew she existed. A number of my own stories have been removed
and credited to her authorship and even now, I'll write something
and realize it isn't really my story at all, but hers. That sounds
strange, I know, and I'm not deliberately trying to confuse you.
This is simply the easiest and most accurate explanation I can give.
TS is very much her own person, with her own ideas and philosophy;
not so different from mine perhaps, but enough to be noticed.
And I'll tell you a secret, not a big
one and not meant to be kept...Writing transgendered stories is fun
as sin! I swear, I'm a girl and my husband's a guy and we love and
love like regular boring people, sorta, but sometimes? I really wish
I had a dick. My husband doesn't wish that, I know. I've asked him,
"If I had a cock and balls, would you still love me?" and
he always laughs. Nervously and so I know the answer. Soul
mates...Yeah, right. I'm always stuck with that question, see? It's
the one TS tries to answer, but of course she's terrible biased.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The Others
- Lastly, I suppose I should mention my evil
little sister, Uziel. She's the High School Sweetheart who gave your
best friend a blowjob on your prom night. The girl who seduced your
own good little sister into becoming a lipstick lesbian and moving
to San Francisco so she could "find herself" with a bull
named Molly. She's the rant in the rave and I control her with drugs
and bad medicine.
I love her.
By whichever name she goes by, evil
little sister should have a lot more stories credited to her than
she does. I honestly think the reason I resist giving els too much
credit, is that I'm trying to keep her bottled up. Like a genie,
however, when rubbed the wrong way she does appear and most often I
regret it. She's my hot temper come to life and I'm one of those
people who get mad instantly. I just detonate, but a minute later
I'm done. I can't stay angry and I always feel bad about it
afterwards. I've spent half my life apologizing for the things evil
little sister has said and done in a moment of passionate fury.
I suppose a lot of people are like that
and I'm not so different than anyone else. My evil little sister is
just a bad influence, more than anything else. The other side of the
coin is High School Sweetheart, my good friend Rebecca Stancil, who
enjoys a small amount of celebrity as a writer of bisexual romance
stories. Her favorite theme is the one girl with two boyfriends
sharing everything together. Many of the erotic stories we find are
less about romance than about sexual politics. That's a fair theme
and worth writing about, but I have so many other avenues for that.
External conflict is more the focus, with an "us against the
world" theme prevailing in most of her stories.
And Uziel? She's all about internal
demons and that's me anyway. Uzi's just better at it.
Let's see, really stupid things I've really done at least
once: I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane; shot up heroine;
tried to get my dad drunk so I could seduce him; tried to kill
myself; I had an abortion; sold my soul for about thirty dollars
when I really needed the money; posted a video of me making out with
one of my dogs on the internet; got caught shoplifting a bottle of
perfume that I didn't even like that much; slept with my best
friend's dad...more than once; tried to pierce my clit;
crashed my driver's ed car into a telephone pole; threw up in a
men's restroom in Vancouver; peed into a boyfriend's mouth without
asking him if he was into it first; was a prostitute for one night
in an adult video arcade; started my hair on fire while roasting
marshmallows; and other stuff...Everything I do is pretty stupid,
actually.
Things I've never done: I've never experienced any sort of
incest; had sex with a child; punched anybody; been to a fur-suit
party; had a real job; cheated on my husband; driven a motor vehicle
all by myself; been to a lingerie party; been in a sorority; snorted
cocaine; met someone from internet chat; learned how to play guitar;
fired a gun; played scat games; fucked my husband with a strap-on
dildo; abused any animal except flies and mosquitoes; seen a real
snuff film; met Christopher Walken; been to Yankee Stadium; or a
gazillion other things that I say I've done.
Hmmm...Some stuff I did which wasn't totally dumb: I got my
master's degree, that's a biggie; I got married; drank a glass full
of a bunch of guys' sperm, a big glass too; stripped at Dirty Dan's
on amateur night; went to Paris for our honeymoon; posed for Suicide
Girls; saw the Red Hot
Chili Peppers at EMP; learned how to make really good lasagna; had
short fiction published in several national magazines; gave a dog a
blowjob before I ever gave one to a boy; gave up trying to learn how
to drive; gave my husband a blow job for our first anniversary (the
where and when made it special); learned how to speak
Japanese, sorta; rescued Midnight from an animal shelter; and
more probably. A lot more.
Bad things I sorta wish I could try or do: I want bigger boobs;
I'd love to fuck a horse someday; I want to have puppies; I want my
husband to divorce me and make me a slave gift to his new wife; I'd
like to castrate a willing man; I think it would be cool to see my
husband having sex with a Bangkok Transsexual named Angel; I want to
give a priest a blowjob in a confessional; and...
Web Site not loading correctly? Do you wish it was on
your computer?
Download the entire Severe Discipline Webring HERE
See the read
me file for assistance with the web site
Big News? Girl Fag is reorganized and updated with
seven
new chapters! Look Here!
It's tempting to believe
or disbelieve some of the things I've said on this particular web
page. The cool thing is though, that it's up to you. Especially this
part. I encourage you to believe what you want and disbelieve the
other stuff and be entertained. That's what I'm really doing here
anyway, just trying to entertain you with another story.
The best fiction is
composed of lies bound in truth, that's the first lesson of writing
fiction of any sort. Politics too, for that matter, but I'm not into
that stuff.
I hope you've enjoyed
your visit.
For those of you who miss
Rache Classic my old index page may be
found HERE
Next update: After "Mixed Bag" completes on
SOL (Nov-Dec 2008)
Love
always! Rachael
Satisfaction is always guaranteed!
Sandy has her own little toy box!
We Deliver Instant Gratification!
Get it Hot 'n Juicy...or your money back!
SBE Supports Our
Troops!
A letter from one of our many
satisfied customers:
Dear Seattle's Best Escorts,
I'm a captain in the US Marine Corps flying happiness suppression in the Middle East. It's a dirty
job protecting America, but someone has to do it and that someone is me. As you can see from the enclosed photograph, my own happiness is never in jeopardy and I have SBE to thank for it.
While I miss my wife and children, I never miss the joy that comes from spewing a hot load of ball juice in the tight, warm confines of a Seattle's Best Escort. Rain or shine, night or day, I can always count on you to delivery a hot blonde sandwich when I need one!
Thanks SBE! You're the reason we're over here and I'm damn proud of it. Semper Fi
(signed) Craig "Forkboy" Butler, Capt. USMC
PS
- Can you ask evil little sister to give me my wedding ring back? I
was a little drunk. Thanks.
Book of the Month:
Monsters in My Bed and Other Stories
with
Foreword by Bring Your Own Bob
A
collection of 13 short stories that I've assembled for my 26th
birthday. The basic themes are the ones most people try to avoid in
polite conversation: Religion, Politics, and Romance...Well, maybe
they don't avoid romance so much. But some people should! Anyone and
everyone who enjoys even a little of my writing will find a story
here to tickle their fancy and I'm rather proud of it, taken as a
whole. Get your copy today!
Just to make it clear, I'm moving
Kylie, TS, and High School Sweetheart's websites to this one and
I'll be closing their independent ASSTR accounts once the move is
completed. I'll be adding more links to the left column (stories in
HTML format) and the scroll bar to the right side will have links to
absolutely free visual aids (pornographic photosets) in an effort to
comply with HRO directives requiring full access and usability by
handicapped persons. After consulting with Lisa and Els, we
concluded that meant people imaginatively challenged. All of this
will require some time to accomplish, as you can no doubt appreciate
and understand. For all of us here at Seattle's Best Escorts, I'd
like to thank you for your patience.
Fashion
Advice ... Pigtails are in this season!
Seattle's Best Employee of the Year - Annabelle - shows us why!
(Photograph courtesy of the SBE lobby)
A Public
Service Message
Women Need Protein!
Here at SBE, we believe that
men are one of the world's most valuable natural resources. In
addition to providing us with diamonds, gold, and furs, men are an
important source of protein for young woman of all ages. Hot and
creamy and straight from the tap is how we really like it, but even
if you get yours second-hand, we know you'll appreciate the flavor,
texture, and most especially the effects a steady diet of delicious
man cream can provide!
Mixed Bag!
With Foreword by Matt the Big Ass Fucker!
A collection of short stories and novellas posted daily over a two month period to
SOL
Why? Just because I felt like it, mostly.
Contributing authors include: rache, Kylie X. TS Severe, evil little sister and more!
Please select this link:
Mixed Bag
for Table of
Contents.
Synopsis:
A culturally barren author expresses her limitations through a succession of chapters in which the only commonality appears to be that they are all pornographic. Will her lack of urbane sophistication manifest itself in a paradoxical orgy of sophist didacticism, or will she merely ape the cardboard construct of a morally bankrupt culture unable to secern luxury from necessity?
Note:
I'm in the process of moving my
graphics files off ASSTR and using a third party host. If you find
broken links, I'd really appreciate an email to let me know. I'm
dedicating as much time and energy as it takes to get this site up
and "finished" if such a thing can be said to exist.
On a final note, and this is important so pay
attention, I'm not fucking around. A lot of this stuff seems pretty
funny, as it's supposed to, but there really is a method to the
mayhem and a point to be made. I'd feel better letting you draw your
own conclusions as I've already expressed mine. Be entertained, as
I've said before. Enjoy yourself and have a good time, but for those
few of you who come from the same place I do...I'm not lying about
anything, am I?
This web site is not affiliated with any commercial Escort Services
or Agencies and all views expressed are solely those of Rachael Ross. Girl
Rental Directory is a free public service providing information and education
regarding human sexuality to consenting adults. Copyright Rachael Ross,
Seattle's Best Escorts 1982-2007 All rights reserved. Copyright 2006-2008 BFG
Productions.
The Others
- Lastly, I suppose I should mention my evil
little sister, Uziel. She's the High School Sweetheart who gave your
best friend a blowjob on your prom night. The girl who seduced your
own good little sister into becoming a lipstick lesbian and moving
to San Francisco so she could "find herself" with a bull
named Molly. She's the rant in the rave and I control her with drugs
and bad medicine.
