|
Return To The Index (This does NOT open a new window) Note, to make reading multi-part stories easier, story links (links with dejanews.com or www.qz.to, NOT the review or profile links) will open up a new browser window. When you are done reading the story, or section of the story simply CLOSE the story window. |
|
Celestial Reviews 302 - September 2, 1998 WINNER OF THE CELESTIAL VIRTUAL REALITY STORY CONTEST: The winner of my Virtual Reality story contest is "Back To Reality" by Vickie Morgan. It was a very close call between this and Stephanie's "African Dreams." The two stories are in a sense opposites: Stephanie's is noteworthy for its simplicity and Vickie's for the complexity of its plot. I eventually gave the nod to "Back to Reality." The author handles the complexity extremely well. The story is a wonderful exercise in imaginative eroticism. For more details, see the review below. I might add that this contest yielded several other stories that made my Top 20 for August. Thank you, authors, for some excellent stories. Note: Although it doesn't mention my list, one of the stories reviewed below ("Get R.E.A.L." by Shon Richards) implicitly challenges many of the cliches or credulous assumptions that I have challenged in my reviews. As a public service, I am reposting my Celestial List of Credulous Assumptions 1. It is usually possible for a woman to estimate the size of a man's fully engorged cock by gazing at his crotch when he is unaroused and fully dressed and over ten yards/meters away. 2. Without the use of scientific instruments men can easily estimate the size of women's breasts from across the room, even if the woman is fully dressed. {Actually, this is no big deal, since nearly all attractive women have 38DD bust sizes anyway.} 3. The normal sequence of sexual experiences is first petting, then oral sex, then anal sex, then vaginal sex - usually all on the same date. 4. The first boy to touch a girl's breasts will come in each of her three orifices within the next hour. 5. Most women would intensely enjoy sexual contact with another woman, but most men would not enjoy sexual contact with another man, even if cultural biases were eliminated. 6. Children who have sex with their parents normally enjoy this activity and grow up to be emotionally mature honor roll students who will contribute to scientific research and to world peace. 7. Ditto for sex with older siblings, kindly neighbors, and random strangers. 8. When sons, daughters, little brothers, or little sisters ask questions about sex, the best way to answer their questions is to show them, using their bodies as part of the demonstration. 9. When a spouse or lover catches his/her partner having sex with someone else, the typical response is to join in. 10. Women typically have multiple orgasms during every fulfilling sexual encounter. 11. Middle-aged men can typically have sex with copious ejaculations several times a day for several days in a row. 10 & 11a. Women and men that can do so are happier and better sex partners than those who have fewer orgasms. 12. Kids can go blind if they masturbate too often. {Ooops. That one belongs on a different newsgroup!} 13. Kids who do not masturbate at least daily are severely disturbed. 14. It is important to pop a person's cherry before she gets out of high school {or gets into high school, has her first date, gets married, buys her first car, etc.} 15. Women typically enjoy getting raped, once they get over their inhibitions. 16. Men who force women to have sex with them are sexy. 17. People can be turned into sex slaves by college kids who read a chapter in a psych book. {Either that or some of these stories are written by Psych profs who are really desperate to motivate their students to read a chapter in their text book.} 18. If you ever get turned into a sex slave, it will be the best thing that ever happened to you. 19. The typical male ejaculation shoots at least 12 inches through the air {unless the penis is inserted into a receptacle which will terminate this expulsion. In this case the ejaculate lands with the impact of a speeding bullet.} 20. Most women ejaculate at least a pint of luscious fluid during a really enjoyable sexual experience. 21. Most people get turned on when their partner treats them with extreme cruelty for the partner's own personal gratification. 22. Most black men have "monster cocks." These 12- to 14-inch penises will thrill any pussy (or other aperture) lucky enough to receive one. Black women, however, do not have "monster cunts," nor do they appear to be all that interested in the genitalia of their black brethren. Hence the reciprocal fondness between black men and white women, especially those known as sluts. 23. The family that fucks together stays together. 24. It's more fun to have sexual intercourse when there's a genuine risk of pregnancy. Offspring resulting from unprotected intercourse of minors tend to be sexy honor students by the time they reach middle school. 25. Nuns {and English teachers, librarians, etc.} are really sexual dynamos. 26. Ain't nothing wrong with most frigid women that a riding crop won't cure. 27. Guys who go without underpants and have sex several times a day do not develop a nasty rash. 28. Male doctors get their rocks off during physical examinations of female patients. Female doctors have multiple orgasms whenever they examine a beautiful person of either sex. 29. A girl will get her first orgasm from her first intercourse, usually within minutes after having her hymen torn. 30. Most young girls are looking for experienced men to train them in sexual practices. They want to start but they don't know anything about it. When they find these instructors, they will say things like, "Yes, eat my pussy now!" {Which is a strange request from somebody that doesn't know anything about sexual practices.} 31. Most women who find that their husbands want to turn them out to their friends respond, "Sounds like fun." 32. Most boys who are forced to act the part of a girl find that they love the role. Unless this happens for the first time in a penal institution other than school. 33. Parents routinely leave their bedroom doors ajar when they intend to have sex, and kids do so when they intend to masturbate, which they do noisily above the bed sheets. 34. Nobody ever farts while making love. Especially not during anal intercourse. And even if they do, its never one of those rancid ones that linger on and on. And even if it is, the partner thinks its sexy. 35. No one ever gets a cramp while making love. For that matter, no one ever sneezes or has a nose so filled with snot that it's impossible to breathe, much less give a blowjob. 36. The woman's vagina never makes that 'farting' noise due to trapped air in there. If she does, this causes immediate orgasm in both partners. 37. Nobody ever forgets to wipe his/her ass prior to having it licked, which is unfortunate, because most people absolutely love the taste of human feces. 38. The woman never says "Ouch! I wasn't ready! I'm too dry!" If she thinks she wants to say these things, she instead says, "Fuck me harder!" 39. Men don't turn over and go to sleep immediately after sex. 40. Women don't fall asleep at the beginning of sex, when they feel so comfortable and relaxed, and they can just let themselves go.... If they do fall asleep, their partner regards this as a compliment. Second note: Here's an interesting list that someone sent me: Good, Bad, or Worse 1. Bad: You find a a porn film in your son's room. Worse: You're in it. 2. Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other. 3. Bad: Your husband's a cross-dresser. Worse: He looks better than you. 4. Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer. 5. Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: For another woman. 6. Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse: Your son "borrowed" it. 7. Bad: Your wife is sick. Worse: Of you. 8. Bad: Your unit only measures out to be 2 inches long. Worse: Erect!! 9. Bad: Your husband has become a playboy. Worse: Centerfold. 10. Good: Hot outdoor sex. Bad: You're arrested. Worse: By your husband. 11. Good: The teacher likes your son. Bad: Sexually. 12. Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: Your wife walks in unexpectedly. 13. Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad: Your daughter's the headliner. 14. Good: Your boyfriend's on a diet. Bad: So he'll fit into your clothes. 15. Good: Your daughter practices safe sex. Bad: She's eleven. 16: Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude. Bad: She's 350 pounds. 17. Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex. Bad: You live downtown. 18. Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude. Bad: She's coming home . 19. Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad: With the neighbors. Worse: All of them. 20. Good: Your wife just experienced her first orgasm. Bad: With the postman. 21. Good: Your wife's got a flat stomach. Bad: And a matching chest. 22. Good: Your wife's got large breasts. Bad: And a matching ass. 23. Good: Your wife reminds you of your mother. Bad: In bed. 24. Good: Your girlfriend's got soft, long, blond hair. Bad: Under her arm. 25. Good: Your daughter's boss raves about her work. Bad: He's a pimp. Final note: remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |