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Celestial Reviews 296 - July 25, 1998 Note: A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ahh, yes that's what I'll have: meatloaf and mashed potatoes." "Unbelievable," the owner says to himself, as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns, and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli." Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you; and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey! I didn't know Mary worked here!" Second note: There once was a little blonde girl who wore a dress to school every day and really loved jelly beans more than anything. The boys at her school decided to take full advantage of this and one day approached her and offered to give her a bag filled with 50 jelly beans if she would climb the schoolyard flagpole. She did and came back down so the boys gave her the jelly beans. That day she came running home and yelled to her mom, "Mommy! Mommy! Today the boys at school gave me 50 jelly beans to climb the flagpole at school!" The mother shook her head and replied "Oh no! They just did that so they could see up your dress and see your panties! I don't want you to ever do this again!" So the next day the boys offered her 100 jelly beans to climb the flag pole. She did; they gave her the jelly beans; and she ran home again and said to her mother, "Mommy! Look! Today the gave me 100 jelly beans for climbing the flagpole!" The mother got upset and told her, "They just did that so they could see your panties! Listen to me! I don't want you to ever let this happen again!" So the next day the boys offered her 200 jelly beans to climb the flagpole. She did without haste and ran home again and shouted with a wide smile on her face, "Mommy! Look! I got 200 jelly beans to climb the flagpole today!" The mother said "What have I been telling you the past couple days?! They're just doing that to see your panties!" The little girl replied, still smiling widely: "I know! I know! But this time I tricked them! I didn't wear any!" Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |