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* "Discovery" by Michael K. Smith (romance) 10, 10, 10
(Celeste's #2, July 1996)
* "Discovery" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com). The guy works in the library reference area, and an attractive girl whom he would like to meet accidentally drops her purse on the floor. Instead of picking it up for her, he waits for her to leave and then retrieves the purse. He checks its contents. What will he do? If this were a Parker story, he would try to use the information obtained from the purse to stalk its owner and make her into his sexual slave. However, Parker is a complex author; and so the guy might wind up becoming HER sexual slave. If the author were either SueNH or Ann Douglas, the guy would return the purse but would first look in the window of her house or apartment and discover her making love to her female roommate. He would probably knock on the door, and the purse's owner would recognize him as the author of several of her favorite stories on a prominent Internet newsgroup and would invite him to join the festivities. The sex would be explicitly described and wildly erotic, but nothing much kinkier than three-way sex. If the author were Backrub or one of the Ng sisters, the range of possibilities would expand rapidly, depending on the mood of the author. The guy might find Tammy's diary in the purse, read it, and insert himself into her love life. The purse would almost certainly contain at least one dildo and probably several other sextoys. {Indeed, if this were a story by May Anne Mohanraj, the story might be told from the perspective of the dildo.} The woman to whom the guy returns the purse might be a vampire. Almost certainly there would be passionate heterosexual activity, and it is not particularly likely that the guy would die during the ensuing action. If Wollstonecraft wrote the story, the guy would return the purse; but the woman would be either a nun or a member of a coven of witches. They would be hostile to him, until he offered to impregnate them all during a wild orgy, at which time they would become submissive but passionate. It is very possible that somebody might die during the ensuing orgies. If Mark Aster were the author, the girl would be Pat Allen, the lovely and vivacious older sister of the equally lovely and vivacious Julie Allen. When he returned the purse, the guy would find its owner making tender love to her sister and to an extremely sexy stud in a metaphorically rich environment. They would invite him to join the festivities, and the author would choreograph his orgasm to coincide emphatically with those of the Three Amigos. If Joe Parsons wrote this story, the guy would call the girl and have a really nice, erotic conversation with her. It would be a truly delightful conversation, but he would later receive a bill for $240. If this were Stephanie's story, the girl would really be a guy who just looked like a girl - actually, he would be both a guy and a girl. This would be the first of ? parts to be posted over a period of 14 months. If this were by Estragon, the plot would be similar to Stephanie's; but the number of parts would keep changing. If it were by Vickie Tern, the plot would again be similar, except that the girl would be a guy who had become a girl to please a wife who really wanted a girlfriend with whom she could pick up men. Also, the guy would be a hair stylist rather than a library assistant. In addition, the story would have been revised three times since Vickie first posted it yesterday. If this were written by Shelby Bush, the story would be a parody of "Murphy Brown." The guy would try to return the purse, but Murphy would be interviewing Ralph Nader, with whom she is secretly in love but cannot get off first base. I'm unclear on the specifics, but somehow during an early part of the story Hillary Clinton would become involved in a menage a trois with Murphy and Ralph, while the guy watched and masturbated with a defective dildo, which Nader would eventually work into a class-action lawsuit. Later, Dan Quayle would have trouble spelling the plural of dildo and would express the opinion that he was glad he studied Latin in high school, in case he wanted to have sex with a woman from Latin America. If this were an Uncle Mike story, it would still be a parody of Murphy Brown; but the guy would be a blind man whose dog would sodomize Murphy. Of course, if this were Deirdre's story, the man would return the purse, only to find its owner living in an old warehouse that she shared with seventeen other women who spent most of their time nakedly worshipping a female dom who fucked them anally with a large dildo shaped like a snake while their husbands hung by their feet from meat hooks and sucked each other's cocks. Although he would be the narrator of the story, the guy would never be seen again. If I wrote the story myself, the guy would return the purse to the woman, but she would be a bit of a jerk. She would leave on a date with someone else, but the guy would become attracted to her roommate - a socially mature, intelligent person who would discuss world politics with him over a banana split, which they would share. After dating for several months, he would propose to her. They would engage in heavy petting, but they would not have sexual intercourse until the night of their wedding, which would occur in a beautiful church in the presence of their fully clothed friends. None of their relatives (nor the priest) would have intercourse with either of them on their wedding night, but the couple would see metaphorical fireworks as they together explored the wonders of each other's bodies. If Dirty Dawg wrote the story, the plot would be similar to mine, except that the guy would first treat the girl badly, then realize ten years later what he had missed and make it up to her during a whirlwind courtship climaxing in tender, multiorgasmic sex. If Frank McCoy or The Bear were the author, the plot would again be similar to mine, except that the girl would be much younger - probably the guy's daughter. The Observer's plot would likewise be similar to mine; but it would be spread out over about six different stories and would have been edited by all the other authors mentioned in this review. If this were a porn movie instead of a short story, the woman would be Tori Wells, playing a character named either Eustacia Vye or Pussy Galore - both of which names have amazingly appeared in the non-censored media (one more amazingly than the other). The college kid would be played by a middle-aged fat guy, perhaps Ron Jeremy. Ron would follow Tori when she left the library, but we would never see her again - except on the jacket of the videotape. Ron would go through a door into a cheap motel room with a beautiful fireplace, where he would have oral sex with a listless woman named Randi Cunt, who very well might be the inspiration for all those dumb blonde jokes I see on rec.humor, while a Scandinavian guy with long blond hair and a black guy with a monster cock did a double penetration on her. The actual action would take about three minutes, but clever looping would consume fifteen minutes, while Randi said clever things like, "I love your big cock" and "Cum on my face." Indeed, all three men would cum externally, and Randi would rub the cum or a mixture of flour and water all over her body while she said things like "oooooo!~ I apologize to all the authors whose works I did not satirize in the previous paragraphs - as well as to those whom I did mention. The story's actual plot was quite interesting and contained elements of several of my proposed story lines. One of Smith's main strengths is his ability to write highly literate and realistic stories from many different perspectives. I find him pleasantly difficult to predict. All I'll add about the plot is that I think it gives a nearly perfect treatment of romantic interracial sex. As I've said before, I am a white woman with a black brother-in-law whom I really enjoy knowing but who is not reputed to have unusual sexual proclivities. I get tired of reading stories that are labeled "interracial" in which black guys with "monster cocks" service white women or white guys screw black "sluts." This story takes a completely different (yet sexy and socially responsible) perspective on interracial sex. I think you'll enjoy reading this story. I certainly did. Ratings for "Discovery" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 |