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"Housewarming Party" By marky (marky92@hotmail.com)
(Three's Company) BitBard: 6, 7, 6
"Housewarming Party" By marky (marky92@hotmail.com). Guest Review by BitBard (bitbard@newsguy.com). --- Phil Jones, an advertising executive, has been transferred to London and gets a very nice reception from two women. This is pretty much straight stroke material with an effort to build up character before the sex begins. The first paragraph of the story is fairly hard to get through since it makes very limited use of transitional words and phrases. The second section moves a bit smoother, a lot smoother actually, but the story still suffers from a lack of rhythm and flow. While this is a fairly hard story to read the characters are sound enough, as is the premise and the sex. A good reread or some good comments by a proofer might be all that this story needs to be a very worthy scene, but given the present difficulties it's not a story I can heartily recommend. Ratings for "Housewarming Party" Athena (technical quality): 6 Venus (plot & character): 7 Bitbard (appeal to reviewer): 6 |