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Celestial Reviews 283 - May 26, 1998 Note: Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel. Suddenly, they saw a rabbi walk up to the front door, glance around and duck inside. "Ah, will you look at that?" One ditch digger said. "What's our world comin' to when men of th' cloth are visitin' such places?" A short time later, a Protestant minister walked up to the door and quietly slipped inside. "Do you believe that?" The workman exclaimed. "Why, 'tis no wonder th' young people today are so confused, what with the example clergymen set for them." After an hour went by, the men watched as a Catholic priest quickly entered the whore house. "Ah, what a pity," the digger said, leaning on his shovel. "One of th' poor lasses must be ill." Second note: Twin brothers were named Joe and John. Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank. A few days later a kindly old lady met Joe on the street. Mistaking him for John, she said to him, "I'm sorry for your loss, you must feel terrible". Joe said, "Oh, hell no. Fact is, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning; her bottom was all shriveled up, and she smelled like dead fish. She was always losing water, had a bad crack in the back, and a big ugly hole in the front, which got bigger every time I used her. She leaked like crazy, and it was difficult to keep her upright. But what really finished her off was when four tough guys rented her for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't any good, but they all wanted to have a go with her anyhow. The damn fools all tried to get on her at the same time and it was just too much for the old girl. While they were trying to get into their various positions she split up the middle". The old woman fainted. Third note: Sandman has taken a wife and has swept her away for a month on one of those three-hour cruises. Before he left, he prepared this issue's links. He also wrote a review of my own story, "Virtuous Reality"; and he left me under a solemn oath to post his review. Congratulations and best wishes to the Sandman and the Sandmistress! Fourth note: My husband made me a sudden offer that I couldn't refuse. As a result, I have been gone for a while. I have no new reviews for this issue; but thanks to guest reviewers and Sandman's Links, I can put together a pretty good issue right away and have another issue ready by the weekend. Thanks to the reviewers! Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |