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Celestial Reviews 267 - March 18, 1998 Note: A young man was very, very much in love with his future wife -- so much so that he had her name tattooed onto his penis. When his member was unarooused, all one could see was a very distinctive "W" and a "Y"; but when erect, his schlong proudly displayed his future spouse's entire name -- "WENDY". They got married, and for the honeymoon they went to the Bahamas. One day he stopped into a public restroom; and as he was standing in front of the urinal, he couldn't help but notice that the fellow next to him ALSO has his penis tattooed... with that same distinctive "W" and "Y". With a growing sense of dread he asked: "Uh, say, I couldn't help but notice that tattoo on your privates. It doesn't say "Wendy", does it?" "Oh, no man" the other fellow replied. "It says 'Welcome to the Bahamas. Have a nice day'". Second note (to confirm stereotypes): Three friends - a white guy, a black guy, and a Jew - decided to visit a prostitute. It was a slow night; so she gave the guys a deal: "You can pay by the inch." When the white man came back out his friends asked, "How much did she charge you?" "$75 dollars," said the first. The black guy went in and returned with a fee of $95. The first two were proud of their prowess. The third man went in and returned. "How much did she charge you?" asked the first two. "Twenty dollars", replied the Jew. The first two started laughing hysterically. "Hey guys," replied the third; "I'm not so stupid. I paid on the way out." Third note: A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair with two 18-year-old girls. I made love with both of them ... twice." The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?" "Never Father, I'm Jewish." "So then, why are you telling me?" "Hell, Father, I'm telling everybody!" Fourth note: Can somebody help me? Someone wants me to post my reviews to an FTP address. I suspect there is a really easy way to do this via AOL. Can someone tell me how to do this on AOL? Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |