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Celestial Reviews 261 - February 25, 1998 Note: A man is driving home late one night and is feeling very horny, as he is passing a pumpkin patch, his mind starts to wander. He thinks to himself, you know a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there is no one around here for miles. He pulls over to the side of the road, picks out a nice juicy looking pumpkin, cuts the appropriate size hole in it, and begins to screw the pumpkin. After a while he is really into it, and doesn't notice the police car pulling up. The cop walks over and says, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?" The man looks at the cop in complete horror, thinks fast and says, "A pumpkin? Is it midnight already?" Second note: I have never written a scat story before. Here goes: Joe is having the guys over to watch a football game. During the first half Joe's sexy wife appears in the hall and gestures alluringly to Sam, who is sitting at the end of the couch. Same leans over to talk to her and motions for her to come closer. She seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress Sam's beard, which is full and bushy. "Could you get my husband for me?" she asks, softly stroking Sam's face with both hands. "No," smirks Sam, " You'll just have to deal with me." "Please get him for me - I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. "Baby, we share at football parties," Sam replies. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him we're out of toilet paper again." Third note: Since Eli is having trouble with his archive site, we are posting DejaNews Links for the current stories. In cases where there is an Eli Link, we are giving that as well. Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |