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Celestial Reviews 255 - February 4, 1998 Note: One day, the doorbell rings at 221B Baker street. Dr. Watson goes to the door, as Mrs. Hudson is away for the weekend. When he opens the door, he sees a schoolgirl standing there. He says to her, "Yes?" "I'm here to see Mr. Holmes, sir," she replies. So the good doctor shows her to the great detective's study. A few minutes later, he hears what appears to be the sounds of a great struggle coming from the room, with panting and groaning. Immediately his mind springs to the only available conclusion - the evil Professor Moriarty, cleverly disguised as a schoolgirl, is doing away with the great Holmes! Springing to his feet, he bounds across the room and yanks the door open... to see Holmes, naked, laying atop the schoolgirl, pumping away for all he is worth. Pulling himself up to his full height, the doctor sputters, "I SAY! Holmes! And just what sort of a 'schoolgirl" is this?" he sneers. The great detective looks up, removes his Meersham pipe from his mouth, and calmly replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." Second note: I'd like to point out that there are a lot of intelligent and kind people on this group who are willing to help others. I get lots of fan mail thanking me for these reviews. {That's OK! Don't stop. As the song says, "Ain't no such thing as too much fan mail."} What people often ignore, however, is that people with less obvious profiles often to a lot for this group. I hope you all realize the value of Eli's a.s.s.m. with its archives and of Ole Joe's notes on our subculture. {I take a wicked delight in thinking that I am the topic of a discussion in an anthropology class somewhere. Of course, that also means that a bunch of students hate me because they missed a question on a test about me. Kinda like Shakespeare and Milton, I guess.} In addition, I have some guest reviewers whose reviews are more eagerly awaited than my own. But in addition to the high profile people who make this group work, there are people whose names you would never recognize because they work behind the scenes. Whenever I report a problem, somebody sends me a solution. The same thing occurs in a.s.s.d.: a person writes with a question regarding how to format or submit a story, and someone quickly posts a helpful answer. Then there are the people who send me jokes or write parodies in verse of my grammar suggestions. For a bunch of perverts, we really are a nice community of people. I'd like to express my thanks to everyone who has helped out. Third note: I still need a reviewer for the Doc Savage style story entitled "Bronze Lust." If you are interested, drop me a line. Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |