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"Camp" by WhiteStar (pisonic sex kid) 9, 8, 6
"Camp" by WhiteStar (from oedipus_rex@hotmail.com). Guest review by BillyG. The review of this MC (mind control) story will be inversely proportional to its length. When Celeste initially sent me the first chapter of "Camp," entitled "Ron's Journey," I remembered having read much of it before, and that it was very long. Indeed, on looking it up I saw that the first chapter was 179K bytes in length and the size of the -unfinished- tome in my stories folder was 745K bytes. I mention these sizes for a purpose. Most of the outstanding stories we've been privileged to read on a.s.s.m. in the last few years have been of manageable size. By that I mean, one could curl up in the early evening, perhaps by the fire, and finish the story with energy left over to woo and love your mate a bit later. These stories have a beginning, a middle, and most importantly, an end. (Yeah, yeah. I know. The Jean story is going to be ended the -next- chapter, I promise.) The appeal of many of these stellar tales is the pull of an identifiable seduction followed by some sort of resolution. As opposed to that genre, there are those stories that appear to go on forever. Oh, they don't actually, but often they don't ever end either. The author appears to simply become fatigued, usually long after me, and simply stops writing. If you like stories with a beginning and an ending, you probably won't be thrilled over "Camp." On the other hand, if you like MC stories that are relatively well written, with or without an ending, then this one might well turn you on. It's rich in detail with a consistency of characters that carries through. I suppose I had some difficulty with the apparent directionless path of scenario after scenario. Ron Chaffy is a 13-year-old boy-pisonic who is going on 50. His insight and wisdom belie his stated chronological age. He's a horny kid who successfully contrives to have sex with about every good-looking woman in sight, starting in his own home. The sex is passionless, as much of mind-control sex is. It becomes difficult to hold in reverence or appreciation that which can be had with nothing more than the snap of someone's mental fingers. Where's the desire? The adventure? The risk? Of course, the answer is, there isn't any. When I was 13, I certainly might have wished I had that power. Now that I'm no longer that young, I'm thankful for my humanness. Perhaps that's the key. It might best appeal to the teenagers in us; but in my view, the story lacks the substance of "adult" erotica - whatever that is. Ratings for "Camp" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 8 BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 6 |