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Diary
Date: Thursday January 3rd, 2002 (Main
Entry)
I
overslept really late this morning, woke
in a state of panic, and frantically
scrambled to get myself down to the
office. There'd been no time to check any
email before I left home and when I
arrived at work Sylvia told me Jeff had
some urgent business he wanted me to
attend. I was already terribly late and
flustered and as desperate as I was to get
to my computer and check my mail, it
simply was not possible. There was no sign
of Jeff in the building and this, even
though not in itself unusual, I
instinctively knew something was wrong.
What exactly? I wasn't sure.
Something.
Somewhere, amidst the
swirling anxiety in my mind, I found time
to concentrate on the instructions Jeff
had left for me. It was a list; a delivery
list. Once my initial fears had subsided I
felt a bit annoyed more than anything.
Deliveries were usually done by one of the
three men I worked with. I hated driving
in the city; Jeff knew that. There were
only two small boxes of papers to deliver
but the addresses were at opposite sides
of town. I could see myself sitting in
traffic for the day and that's exactly
what happened. By the time I got back to
the library, sometime around three, I felt
like a nervous wreck. Coffee was
needed.
When I
passed the door to the common room I
looked in and saw the familiar sight of
Steve sitting at one of the tables
drinking coffee; his head buried in the
sports section of a newspaper. He had his
back to the door and didn't notice me
standing there. Something seemed odd but I
couldn't put my finger on it. It was a bit
like looking at one of those spot the
difference pictures; mentally comparing
the room I was looking at with my memory
of it. Nothing seemed changed. Photocopier
on its stand in the corner where it
usually was; row of metal storage cabinets
along the wall; light desk with off cuts
of stencil film cluttering the top of it
and the floor around; books needing
rebinding piled high on the book trolleys;
binding machinery sitting idle towards the
back of the room; and Steve, ever-present
and hunched over his paper, at the only
clear space of table top in the room. What
was different?
It
occurred to me that none of the other
office staff were around, except for
Sylvia who I passed on my way back into
the building. A peculiar feeling began
stirring in the pit of my stomach as I
went into the lunchroom to make my coffee.
Nothing looked unusual; the same pile of
used cups sitting unwashed in the sink
under the laminated sign that read please
wash your own cup; plates covered in bread
crumbs and withered lettuce droppings
scattered untidily on the bench; electric
kettle empty and needing filling as usual.
Nothing unusual.
I took
my coffee back to my office and settled
comfortably into my chair. From where I
was sitting I could see out the door and
into the reading area of the library.
Again, nothing seemed different. Deserted
maybe, but then the library usually was
after lunch. The blank computer screen on
my desk stared ominously back at me. I
sipped my coffee and gathered my thoughts.
The drawer.
The
computer screen pinged to life and the
familiar desktop appeared in the glow. I
stared at it and laughed to myself at the
icons seemingly swimming in the crystal
clear lagoon of some far off tropical
paradise; the Explorer "e" appearing to
hang like a blue coconut in from the
single palm tree that sprang from the
whitest sand imaginable. It wasn't Venice
Beach by any stretch of the imagination. I
looked down at the bottom drawer of my
desk; a potential hell below the paradise
on my desk.
I
cautiously reached down and gently slid
open the drawer. Slowly I opened it; the
way a person expecting something to jump
out and bite them might open it. I glanced
inside. Everything appeared to be the way
I'd left it yesterday and I felt a wave of
relief wash over me. I relaxed for a
moment and allowed myself to see the
contents of the drawer as being the
objects of pleasure I knew them to be. The
state of panic I'd been in since the
previous night was suddenly calm. I'd
arrived at work with a debilitating
headache; it vanished without trace. I
felt I'd been given a reprieve by my
blackmailers.
The
feeling of grace was short lived. I heard
Jeff's voice outside in the foyer; some
words exchanged with Sylvia and then the
cheery sound of her voice bidding him
farewell for the day. He was sending her
home early. Alarm bells rang in my head. I
sat motionless; waiting; listening.
Nothing. The sound of keys rattling in the
locks of the main doors to the library and
then again, nothing. A moment
passed.
"You're
still here, Adrianna?"
I felt
paralyzed; overwhelmed with a profound
feeling of dread as I looked at Jeff
standing in the doorway of my
office.
"I
wasn't expecting you back after your
errands."
I
searched his face for clues. None. I was
trembling uncontrollably but I managed to
hide it with a faint smile and some
half-hearted joking comment. He walked
away from my office leaving me alone to
contemplate the brief exchange. My hearing
focused on the sounds outside my office. I
couldn't hear his footsteps on the carpet
but I did hear him open the door to his
office. The door clicked quietly closed
and again, the sound of nothing. Had it
started? I didn't know.
My
anxious reverie was shattered by the sound
of the phone on my desk; the muted
electronic shrill tone cutting the silence
and startling me. It was Jeff summoning me
to his office. I felt instantly numb and
almost dropped the phone. Was this
it?
I
couldn't stop myself from shaking as I
stood in the doorway of Jeff's
office.
"Come
in," he said.
I
consciously willed my feet to move and
stepped closer to his desk.
"Adrianna, is there
anything you've been keeping from me?"
His
words sounded deliberate and carefully
chosen. A kind of mental paralysis set in.
I had no idea how to respond. "Like what?"
I stammered.
"I don't
know; you tell me."
I still
was not certain we were thinking about the
same thing and, even if we were, had my
fantasy got so out of control I'd made a
grave error in the judgment of my boss? I
needed more prompting but I could see it
wasn't going to be forthcoming. "No,
nothing," I lied.
"What?
Nothing at all?"
Again I
was forced to struggle for words. I had an
urge to confess everything but I was now
wanting to do it more informally so I
could explain everything. It was only a
game; a silly fantasy game that got out of
control. If Jeff was angry with me, I
wanted to be able to apologize before
surrendering all the details. I was also
acutely aware that anything I confessed to
him might also lead to trouble for my
online friends who I'd encouraged to set
me up in this way. I wanted to tell Jeff
it was all my fault. Nobody else was to
blame; just me. All of these thoughts were
racing wildly through my head while I
stood mutely unable to offer any
explanation.
"Tell me
about your friend Mike."
I felt
my face suddenly start to blush. The knot
of nervousness in the pit of my stomach
tightened; my heart pounded furiously in
my chest. "Mike? What about Mike?"
"He sent
me this."
I knew
the moment of truth had come. Jeff invited
me to view the email on his computer
screen. This is what I saw:
-----Original
Message-----
From:
"Mike
Jones"
Date:
Thu, 3 Jan 2002
07:24:23
To:
"Jeff"
<jeff1950@usa.com>
Subject:
Fw:
Blackmail
Jeff,
So you
can see for yourself the situation as I
have been handed it by Adrianna out of the
blue, unsolicited, on December 30th, last.
I am basically (by hobby) a writer of BDSM
stories. I have written same for Adrianna
to post on a website she owned but which
has been defunct since late September.
Since then I have practically nothing from
Adrianna until Dec. 30th when she sent me
this following email. One caution I will
give you is that she tells me this latest
escapade she is keeping a secret from her
husband. Through intense interrogation you
should grill her on that singular point to
decide for yourself if it is really safe
for you to pursue this, or is she just
playing some dangerous game that could
blow up in everyone's face when her
husband finds out what his wife has been
up to lately.
Whether
you decide to make her your sex-slave, the
office whore, (another of her fantasies)
or merely smile at her, tip your
figurative hat and turn away from the
whole thing is strictly your decision.
This scenario seems so unreasonable to me
with my steady, 51 year marriage to the
same much loved woman. But I do have a
devious mind, as many "normal" folks do,
for fantasizing the perverse, and Adrianna
knows it. I think that's why she came to
me for help with this.
I hope
you or she, or someone will now keep me
informed as to what takes place in your
place of business concerning Adrianna. She
has formed a new Internet group called the
Blackmail Society and made me Owner. Thus
far there are three members of this select
group but Adrianna envisions the group
growing to include yourself, if you are
willing and carefully selected others, who
have not yet been selected.
I will
stop with this much said and respond to
more questions of me, if you have any.
Also, she, (and I), hope you will take an
active role with her and interrogate her
for most of what you might want to know
about this.
Good
luck, but you probably don't need it. She
is falling all over herself with lust to
have you approach her about this.
Mike
>
----- Original Message -----
>From: "barefoot
embarrassment"
<barefoot_embarrassment@yahoo.com>
>To:
"Mike Jones"
>Sent: Sunday, December
30, 2001 2:05 PM
>
Subject: Blackmail
>>
>>
Hello Mike,
>>
>>
A while back you suggested a game with
somebody else
>>
on my list and the thought of it has
tantalized me
>>
ever since. You told them to send you a
list of email
>>
addresses - real people you could use to
threaten
>>
blackmail.
>>
>>
I immediately thought of my boss at work
(Jeff) and
>>
how deeply embarrassed I'd be if ever he
found out
>>
about "my secrets". Since then I've
frequently found
>>
myself fantasizing about might happen if I
gave you
>>
his email address and I've often
considered sending it
>>
to you. Naturally there was always a very
real concern
>>
at the back of my mind about the possible
consequences
>>
of Jeff *really* knowing things you know
about me.
>>
However, after much careful thought I've
finally
>>
decided to give in to a compelling urge to
play this
>>
game in reality.
>>
>>
It's a calculated risk. I've suspected
he's had more
>>
than a professional interest in me ever
since I
>>
started working for him. I've also
suspected there was
>>
more to the authority he often playfully
wielded over
>>
me - an undisguised dominant streak in him
I've
>>
learned to recognize since my husband
introduced me
>>
into the BDSM scene. All of this was
confirmed at a
>>
recent staff Christmas party.
>>
>>
It was late in the night and everybody
(including me)
>>
had drunk a little too much Christmas
cheer. I did
>>
something silly and somebody (not Jeff)
announced to
>>
everybody that I should be spanked for it.
He wasn't
>>
serious about it and everybody laughed,
except Jeff. I
>>
caught his eye and there was an
unmistakable glint to
>>
accompany his grin. It was the tiniest
flash of
>>
something that instantly made me blush.
Nothing else
>>
happened but it was enough to convince me
Jeff might
>>
be interested in hearing from you. Call it
a woman's
>>
intuition if you like.
>>
>>
I don't expect you'll want to contact him
immediately
>>
and in my fantasies you always take the
time to
>>
torment me with the suspense of not
knowing whether or
>>
not you have said anything to him. But
I'll give you a
>>
little information in advance so when the
time comes
>>
to introduce yourselves you'll have some
idea of who
>>
you're talking to.
>>
>>
He's about fifteen years older than me and
not
>>
particularly the kind of man I find myself
physically
>>
attracted to but he is charming in his own
way. He's
>>
not married and I'm not sure, but I don't
think he
>>
ever has been. I've always thought of him
as being the
>>
perfect bachelor in a distinguished
"English" kind of
>>
way. He reminds me of (the actor) Michael
Caine. He
>>
lives alone and his one main love seems to
be books,
>>
particularly antiquarian ones - a subject
he's an
>>
expert in.
>>
>>
I'm feeling VERY nervous right now, about
to share his
>>
email address with you. You probably have
other photos
>>
of me also but I've attached a montage of
4 pictures
>>
which I consider to be both the most
embarrassing and
>>
ones guaranteed to identify me and my
secret desires.
>>
>>
jeff1950@usa.com
>>
>>
You now have everything you need to
*really* blackmail
>>
me...
>>
>>
You're nervous slave,
>>
>>
Adrianna
********
The
picture was attached and Jeff made me look
at it. I was told not to take my eyes off
it...
"You set
yourself up to be blackmailed by this Mike
Jones?"
Jeff
asked the question in a way which made me
feel incredibly foolish. For the first
time since he summoned me into his office,
I began to feel small twinges of pleasure
about everything that was happening. I
glanced at my boss. There were traces of
delight in the expression on Jeff's face
which had until now been expressionless.
There was no need to answer his
question.
"Now,
tell me again, is there anything you've
been keeping from me?"
I knew
there was no escaping the truth now. Jeff
knew everything; the whole sordid story.
The proof was there on his computer
screen; pictures of me completely naked
and bound. What had begun as an online
fantasy game was now well and truly real
and I knew I'd be forced to relinquish
whatever control I had over things to my
boss Jeff. He now had total control to use
the knowledge and pictures he now had of
me to blackmail me properly; to force me
to surrender to whatever dark desires he
had for me. All that now remained was for
him to begin revealing what those desires
might be. That fateful moment was fast
approaching.
"Adrianna, I'm going to ask
you a question and I want your honest
answer."
I
nervously agreed to comply.
"Before
you answer I want you to carefully
consider the implications. Realize I have
all the evidence I need to indemnify
myself and your friend Mike against any
and all repercussions that may arise as a
result of your answer. Do you
understand?"
I nodded
first and then affirmed I understood.
"Yes."
"Out of
all the things I could possibly force you
to do, what is the one demand you never
want me to make of you?"
I felt
suddenly burdened by the weight of the
decision I knew I was about to be forced
to make. If given enough time I was sure I
could think of a million things;
humiliations, torments, tortures, bizarre
sexual demands. The list could go on and
on. I didn't want to sound like I was
being evasive and nor did I want to cheat
in a game which I had created myself but I
had to protect the one person in the world
who I loved deeply; passionately. "Please
never make any demand which might alert my
husband to this game."
"Could
you be a bit more specific?"
I
couldn't but I tried to make myself more
clear. "I will do anything you ask.
Anything. As long as my husband is not
involved in any way."
"Give me
some examples."
"My
husband would not ever want to see me
shaved. Nor would he want me pierced or
tortured in any way that might scar me. If
your demands are sexual I must have your
word I won't catch any diseases which
could be passed to my husband. Things like
that." I could see by Jeff's acceptance of
these examples that he understood what I
was asking.
"Okay.
Then, it's about time we got down to
business."
The
words signaled the real beginning of an
adventure I'd dreamed about for
years.
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