Chopsticks vs. Butcher Knives
On Techniques
Be by Being
The two basic skills a slave must learn are patience and discipline. All other skills and behaviors stem from--and are grounded in--those two. All other skills may be learned through teaching, demonstration, and reinforcement. This is not true for the two basics; one learns to be patient by having patience, one learns to be disciplined by having discipline. They can not be taught--only learned.
Because the two basic skills are so important, they must be constantly tended to by the Master. Especially at the beginning of training, the slave should be given tasks which require her to develop these skills. Aspects such as obedience, initiative, and refinement will be developed more fully later in the process.
Additive Sculpting And Subtractive Sculpting
Training a slave is a process of sculpting. A raw potential is taken in, studied, and understood. The slave's "psychological geography"--for lack of a better term--is mapped out and evaluated. A plan is then formed, based on the specific potentials and limitations of the individual slave--her peaks and valleys. When shaping a new slave into the desired result, there are two techniques that are required: Additive Sculpting and Subtractive Sculpting.
Subtractive Sculpting: Removing the debris. No slave comes to her master as a clean slate. There will always be a lifetime of lessons, ideas, expectations, fears, and habits. The Master needs to learn what these are, and decide which should be encouraged, which must be eliminated, and which can be shaped and modified. This is by far the more difficult of the two techniques. It is much harder to unlearn a habit, or dissolve an idea, than it is to learn new ones.
Carrying the sculpting metaphor farther, the Master must also decide how to remove the debris. Some should be broken away with sledge-like force, others chipped away with a range of chisels, while others need to be gently sanded away with slow and painstaking deliberateness. The range of factors used to decide how to progress is nearly infinite. It cannot be the same for all slaves. A Master may have found, through experience, that certain techniques work well in certain situations, but he must still be aware of the individual, and be prepared to modify his attack when needed.
Additive Sculpting: Filling the holes. A new slave will, almost by definition, have gaps in their training. One cannot expect a slave to simply know everything that her Master wants. Nor can she be expected to learn these things instantly and perfectly. It takes time, patience, and work for the Master to teach her what he feels she should know. There appear to be two basic schools of thought on when to start this process. One suggests bringing the slave as close to a clean slate as possible, then starting over from scratch, the other suggests filling in the gaps from the very beginning.
It is arguably better to use the latter method. Attempting to create a clean slate of the slave is a more risky path to take. There is too much risk of her focusing on the negative, gaining the feeling that everything about her past is wrong, and collapsing into herself. By starting to add aspects to her personality and behavior from the very beginning, there is an easily recognizable positive momentum that can be latched onto and used as a gauge of progress.
The easiest place to start additive sculpting is with the simple physical aspects of posture, pose, recognition, and acknowledgement.
Posture: Simple physical corrections can do a lot towards setting the mental bearing of a slave. A slave should be poised and confident. This is shown through a straight posture and a raised head. Slouching should never be allowed. Slouching is a sign of laxity and apathy. A slave should be always prepared to take action requested of her. So it is with the tilt of her head. A down-cast head puts forward an image of the slave as lacking confidence and, perhaps, being ashamed of her status. A slave makes a conscious choice as to her status, and she should be proud of it. By correcting the posture of his slave, the Master sets up a groundwork for later, more difficult tasks, and improves the physical attractiveness of his slave.
Pose: As a way to instill discipline as a constant state, the addition of poses is highly recommended. The Gorean school has a number of established, named poses. These may be a point from which to start; though each Master should create a set of poses that meets his needs and pleases his aesthetics. While these poses may be added to or refined as the training progresses, it is important not to actually change them. Consistency in practice and expectation is very important in the training process. The following are examples of standard basic poses:
Kneel: The slave is to kneel, knees together, feet extended, her ass resting on her heels. Her posture must be upright; back straight, shoulders back and down, face forward, not bowed. Her hands should be placed on her thighs, palms down. This pose is one designed to practice patience. It allows the slave to remain relaxed, yet observant and able to respond to commands with ease. This pose may be held for extended periods of time, but allowances should be made for the physical limits of the slave.
Attention: The slave is to stand with an upright posture--back straight, shoulders back and down, head forward. Her legs should be straight, with her feet slightly apart to form a stable base and allow her to respond to a summons without shifting her stance. Her arms are to be behind her back, each hand clasping the opposite forearm as close to the elbow as is comfortable. This causes her back to arch slightly, pushing forward her chest. Her hips should not be allowed to roll backwards, as this will lead to a more severe arching of the lower back, putting undue stress on it, and causing her to become unbalanced. This pose is one for presentation and attentiveness. It allows the Master to inspect his slave and gives him access to her body with minimal interference from her arms. It is not recommended for extended periods of time, as it places stress on the back, shoulders, and elbows.
Bow: The slave is to kneel with her legs in the same position as the 'kneel' pose, then bend at the waist, laying her chest on her thighs. Her forehead should lay on the floor, and her elbows rest slightly forward and outside of her shoulders in a comfortable position. Her forearms should extend directly forward from her elbows, with her hands flat on the floor. This may cause her hips to rise slightly from their resting place on her feet, but this is acceptable. This pose is a purely submissive pose. It puts the slave into a position where she is unable to see what is happening around her, and exposes her hands, back, and ass to whatever her Master has in mind. In addition to the submissive nature of the pose, it has two other advantages; it is aesthetically pleasing, and it can be easily shifted forward to bring her into an 'all-fours' pose, giving the Master access to her for sex or punishment. The 'bow' pose can be held for reasonably extended periods of time which can be extended by allowing the slave to move forward into the 'all-fours' pose.
Catholic: The catholic pose is identical to the kneel pose with one exception; the slave's arms are to be extended to the sides, straight out from her shoulders, with her palms facing forward, and her hands extended, fingers together. This places her upper body in a 'crucifixion' pose. This pose is strictly for punishment. The strain caused by holding her arms to the side in this way can cause significant pain and severe fatigue. It should not be used for extended periods of time.
Recognition: The way that a slave addresses her Master can be an important tool in reinforcing status and allowing the slave to become comfortable in her role. The form of address should be decided by each Master based on circumstances and personal tastes. Simple recognitions such as "sir" will help to form habits which will carry over into other aspects of the training.
Acknowledgement: This one may seem unnecessary, but it can actually be very important in maintaining the communication between the slave and the Master. When the Master addresses his slave, she should acknowledge it. She should reply to his call, to his commands, and even to his casual statements. As time progresses, this simple act of acknowledgement can help the slave feel more relaxed, and allow her to ask for clarification or additional information. It's better to have her ask questions than to do something wrong.
The Devil is in the Details
Good habits: It is important to remember that small changes are easier to implement and have a significant cumulative effect. Constant corrections--given in a gentle, but firm way--to such aspects as posture, speech, dress, and reaction will work to build good habits. Those habits may also form a sort of security net. When in doubt about what is expected of her, or how to react to a situation, the slave can fall back on the security and comfort of simple, familiar habits.
Customization: While the rules and techniques outlined here form a foundation for the relationship between a Master and his slave, each circumstance will be different. A Master cannot adhere strictly to one pattern, one path. Flexibility, creativity, and adaptation are essential.
Alphabet Soup: B&D, S&M, Role Play, cos-play, scenes, fetish gear, whips, chains, and ponytails may all be fun additions to a relationship, but it should be remembered that they are just additions. They may prove to be invaluable tools in some cases, but they are not a requirement. If vanilla sexuality is what works best for the relationship, that's perfectly acceptable. It's not about the sex, it's about the relationship.