The goal of a Master is not to subjugate, but to perfect. It is the purpose of a Master to train the slave; to shape her and develop her into what he sees to be her full potential. The specifics will, by necessity, change with each slave. Slaves are not iron to be indiscriminately beaten into uniform shapes or poured into predetermined molds. They are raw marble, run through with flaws and veins, awaiting the hand of the Master to release the beauty trapped within.

A "proper" slave should be--in concept if not in detail--like a 'proper' Victorian lady. She should be poised, polite, and articulate. She should know what behavior is appropriate in any situation, and be able to maneuver through each of them with equal ease. She should be intelligent, articulate, well-read, and experienced in both the theories and realities of the world. Most of all, she should know her place. That place is not automatically at the bottom. It is not inappropriate for a well-trained slave to be regarded as being above an untrained, or undisciplined, person.

Servitude is a skill. It requires practice, training, discipline, and work. A slave should take pride in her accomplishments--but never be arrogant about them. There is a pride to humility. To do a thing well, be it singing or servitude, takes dedication and work. Keeping that skill sharp requires constant practice. This is true not only for servitude, but for mastery as well.

The Partnership: A D/s relationship is a partnership. It must be. Each member brings something to the relationship, and each member takes something away. In a way, neither end of the spectrum can be fulfilled without the other. In a normal relationship, there can be a great deal of independence; two individuals who share time with each other. That is not an option in a D/s situation. The slave must be controlled by her Master. It's the central premise of the relationship.

The Master: What a Master brings to the table will vary depending on the circumstances of the relationship. There are those that assume that a Master must have a set way of doing things; a shopping list of qualities which he brings to the table. The slave is supposed to look at that list and decide--all or nothing--whether it is what she desires. The truth of the matter is quite the opposite--or should be. Anyone might say "This is what I have to offer, take it or leave it." But the better Master will approach it from the opposite direction. A good Master will see a potential slave and determine what it is she needs, and how he might fulfill those needs. Each slave needs something different--different goals, different approaches, different techniques, and different tolerances. A competent Master will tailor his work to the individual slave. Common to all of them, however, a Master must bring knowledge, experience, strength, discipline, and confidence--all things which shall be passed on to a successful slave.

While the details and particulars will vary with the relationship, there are two main rewards for a Master; satisfaction and adoration. Sex, servitude, companionship, maid service... these are all among the possible rewards for a Master. They are not, however, the most integral.

Satisfaction: Perhaps the single most important reward is the satisfaction inherent in doing a job well. To see an untrained and undisciplined young woman be shaped into a proper slave, confident, poised, and much better off as a result of the Master's work is supremely satisfying. It is why teachers, coaches, and trainers do what they do.

Adoration: To be honest, the adoration of the slave for her Master is just as powerful a reward. It is the external reflection of the self-satisfaction the Master feels for his own work. Whether this adoration takes the form of simple respect, or of deep and lasting love, it is valued. A Master must be honest; the ego boost that comes as the result of his position is immensely rewarding.

The slave: As with the Master, the slave may bring many things to the relationship, and each slave will bring something different. Universal to these, though, is desire: the desire to learn, the desire to change, and the desire to release control. She brings the fuel on which a Master's desire feeds. A slave is not an empty vessel to be filled by her Master. She is an unrefined potential. In a good relationship, the slave will bring knowledge and experiences which will serve to teach the Master. A Master who can not, or will not, learn from his slave is a poor Master.

Again, the particulars will vary from slave to slave. No two people can be expected to get exactly the same things from such an intimate and life-altering relationship. Over all, however, a slave should gain confidence, experience, understanding, acceptance--of others and of herself--and above all, discipline and patience.

It seems cliché to say, but perhaps the one most important thing which both sides bring to and take from the relationship, is the relationship itself. It's not as much about the goals as it is about the process of reaching those goals--goals that are, admittedly, impossible to fully achieve.

As stated previously, a Master does not, and can not, take control of a slave. He can only accept control--a control which is held at the whim of the slave. The only way a Master may have control of a slave is if she willingly gives it to him.

The difference must be drawn between 'power' and 'control'. The two are not synonyms. In order to define the rules of a Master and slave, the terms must first be defined. Communication, as always, is central to the relationship.

Control is authority. By mutual agreement, the slave willingly gives up control to her Master. What she is giving up is the authority to make decisions. It is up to the Master to decide how much of that authority he is willing to delegate back to his slave. There needs to be a balance between complete autonomy and complete indenture. A slave must be allowed a degree of autonomy in order to properly learn. Within proper bounds, autonomy allows for initiative, and adds the weight of responsibility to the actions of the slave.

Aside from the training, there is a practical aspect to the degree of control a Master accepts. It is impractical, if not impossible, for a Master to make every decision for his slave. Were he to attempt it, he would have no life of his own.

As the slave progresses in her training, she should be given greater and greater autonomy--and a level of responsibility proportionate to it. The eventual goal is to have no direct control over the slave, since she will have learned well enough to automatically do what is expected of her. The Master's goal is, to some small degree, one of laziness; the Master should be able to get to the point where he may lay back and enjoy the fruits of his labors.

Power is the ability to stop. While the slave gives up control to her Master, she still retains the ultimate power--the power to say "no". Because the D/s relationship is, at its heart, a consensual agreement, the slave always retains the power to take back control of herself.

In an ironic way, the ability to say "no" can be the exact thing which allows a slave to give herself completely to her Master. The Master must also remember that, should he abuse his slave's trust, or fail in his responsibilities, his slave may take back her control, and leave him with nothing.

There are two basic ways to look at the relationship between a Master and a slave; "The Master is above the slave" and "The slave is below the Master." While both describe the same relative positions of the people, they do not say the same thing; they are equivalent, but not equal. The difference is in where they place what may be referred to as the "Zero Point."

"The slave is below the Master": This approach puts the Master at the Zero Point; regardless of the status of the Master--high or low--the slave is forced into a status below him.

Too often, this is the approach taken by would-be Masters. It is here that you will find those who feel that they must beat down their slaves, humiliate them, and grind them underfoot. These "masters" are little more than glorified bullies. And even worse than their school-yard counterparts, these bullies prey on those who are unwilling--or unable--to fight back, or even protest.

The Master is above the slave": This approach places the untrained slave at the Zero Point. As the slave is trained, she will be raised above that point--and her Master will always remain above her. In this way, both Master and slave continue to grow.

"Raising" a slave does not mean bringing her to the same point of status as her Master. It means shaping her to become the best her potential allows her to be. A slave should not cower nor grovel. A slave should be proud of her position. She should strive for perfection (a goal unattainable by anyone, but still desired) in her actions, her attitude, her discipline, and her patience.

No one is Master to all. A Master to one is a servant to others. There is no pure Master except for God. All others in this life--regardless of their station--are servants to someone. The Master at home is the student in class. The Commander-in-Chief is the servant to the people, the CEO at work is the cuckold at home. There is always someone better, stronger, smarter, or more powerful. Every person must answer to someone.

Because of this, a Master must also know humility. A degree of arrogance is a requirement for a Master--for how else could one proclaim dominance over another--but extreme arrogance will only serve to weaken and corrupt the teachings of the Master. A Master who falsely declares dominance exposes himself to the derision of his slave. At that point, authority is lost and the relationship irrevocably damaged.

A dominant need not 'dominate' in order to rule. The better Master is one who leads with quiet confidence. A Master who must flaunt his authority is one who doubts his authority.

Even Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. There was no doubt in the mind of either who was the lord, and who the subject. Jesus' actions showed that authority is not dictated by station, rank, or any other externals. Mastery, like submission, comes from within. It is a description of what a person is.

A true Master stands next to his slave and directs her. He kneels before her to raise her up. And in none of these does he lose his Mastery. A Master may choose to treat his slave with adoration. He may bathe her, cook for her, dress her, or treat her as a queen. He may do so as a reward for her behavior or accomplishments, or as a way of expressing his love or devotion to her. It is not the action, but the expectation of action, that is important. When the Master serves his slave at his discretion, it is a reward. Should the slave come to expect such behavior--or worse, demand it--the flow of control has been broken. At this point, the Master has lost his authority. It is debatable whether he can get it back.

The Master is also the student. While it is primarily the place of the Master to teach and the student to learn, there is--and must be--a continual undercurrent which flows the opposite way. The Master must learn from his slave. He must learn about her reactions, her limits, her desires, her abilities, and most importantly, her perspectives. A slave is a resource, often better than any other, from which a Master may draw a wealth of information. It is not out of line for a slave to contradict or correct her Master--provided it is done properly. It is not the place of a slave to say "Master, you are wrong," but rather to offer information which will give her Master a better understanding on which to base his opinions and statements.

The roles and 'jobs' of a Master and a slave are complementary opposites. Each desires the other, needs the other to fulfill their purpose. A slave without a Master is lost; a Master without a slave is incomplete. More than that, however, the two are linked. They feed and feed upon the other.

A slave is a master of duty: a slave is saddled with duties; with lessons to learn, tasks to complete, expectations to fulfill. The slave is concerned with "doing". As the slave grows in her knowledge and skills, she will become more competent in promptly and accurately fulfilling her duties. With patience and practice, she will come to master the tasks she is assigned, and those which are unspoken, but expected nonetheless. A good slave will not just perform her tasks as instructed. She will take the tasks into her, make them her own, make them a part or her--as she is a part of her Master.

A Master is a slave to responsibility: When a Master takes on a slave, he accepts not only control of her, but responsibility for her. A Master who is lax in his responsibilities risks inflicting on his slave wounds which may destroy her. She has placed herself in his hands, and he must care for her, teach her, guide her, and--hopefully--love her. But he must also look out for her. He must protect her in her vulnerable state, while still pushing her to expand her experience and her limits. He must study her, learn how to mold her without breaking her, to push her without forcing her past her limits. The key is to know the slave well enough--by listening to her and watching her--to see when to press forward and when to relax. This is the art of control .

Duty and responsibility are linked in ways that are subtle, deceptive, and complex. They cannot be separated. They cannot exist without each other. The slave's duties come with responsibility to her Master, the Master's responsibilities dictate his duties to his slave.

So much of what is written on D/s is about the rules, the training, the responsibilities, the gear, and the techniques. Amidst all this, it should be remembered that this is--aside from the exchange of power--something done between people who like each other; perhaps love each other. The day-to-day interactions will not all be Master and slave; quite a bit of it will be friend to friend. There will be--and should be--a lot of time when things are amazingly normal. There will be casual conversations, jokes, teasing, playing, doing chores, relaxing, and just being people. Being a Master or slave is what one is, but it is not all one is. A person must also be a person. If someone can't interact except in their role as a Master or slave, then they have problems which need to be dealt with.

Both Master and slave need to take time to remember that the other is a person. And both need to feel comfortable enough to joke around with the other. Dominate and submit, but also take time to play.