I was an early reader, my dad taught me about age 3 or so. Among my many books was one in particular titled "How Babies Are Made" by Andrew Andry. The pictures looked like they were constructed from origami paper and weren't too explicit, at least not for human children. I seem to recall a rather explicit image of dog intercourse in the book, but it really laid the foundations for sex for me. It also had the wonderful side effect of making me think that babies came out the backdoor, because as a guy, that was the only bodily exit I knew of.
When I was about 5 years old I talked a little girl out of her pants by dropping my own. She was, I think, a year younger than me. I don't particularly recall anything sexually motivated about the incident, other than wanting to mimic the scene in the aformentioned book where the two adults were naked in bed. My memory is hazy on what exactly I saw, since we were both under the bed covers the entire time. We were caught of course, and had to redress in front of each other, which is the only look I think I actually got of her, but I think there began my mild fascination with little girls below the waist. Subsequently I had a dream about me and another little girl trying to have sex. Of course, since I didn't know what an erection's purpose was (sure I got them, all little boys do), that translated rather well into the dream where I just mashed my limp little penis against her puffy lips. Ah, youth. If only I had known.
My first experience with orgasm came (no pun intended) about age 8 or 9. My parents had one of those double bulbed electric shoulder and neck massagers. To my surprise, it felt really nice when it vibrated against my junk. So I just held it there. It took about 10 minutes before the sensations became too intense to take, and I had this feeling like I was going to pee all over the place. I dashed into the bathroom, and hurried my pants down, certain that I was just moments away from wetting my pants. Much to my surprise, nothing was coming out. I stayed there until the pleasant tingling sensation left me, just puzzled by the entire experience.
Our first sex education class at school was in 4th grade. The boys and the girls were split up, and we were given little books, blue for boys, pink for girls of course, that gave us detailed information on development for our own gender, and a rather basic summary of the development of the opposite gender. You can split the boys and girls up in the classroom, but out on the playground there is no such isolation. The little books were traded, and our own personal progression was discussed. There was a girl in this little group of my friends, who quite readily volunteered the information that she had some hair, but was in no way going to show it to us. Curiousity was piqued.
A few months after I turned 12, my dad gave me a book from the library. It was titled "Will the Nurse Make Me Take My Underwear Off?" and was written like the journal of a 13-year old boy who was experiencing puberty. It was that book that prompted me to masturbate for the first time. A part of the book described how to put a condom on (I know, such important information for a young teen to know), and it just so happened that I had discovered where my dad kept his condoms. I grabbed a few, and went to work. The first try...I think I was trying to roll it on inside-out, so it never got anywhere. That, and I was experiencing a little performance anxiety. I know, the joke is that boys that age are just walking hard-ons. Well, I was so amped up for doing this, that it actually made me nervous and I couldn't get hard. So between the backwards condom and the boner issues I gave up for the night and decided to try again the next night. That next night, things went much smoother (except for the part where in the process of opening the packet, the condom came flying out and landed on my forehead), and I was armored up for battle...with my hand. I must have jacked for around 30 minutes before I really started to feel anything, but eventually I felt this building sensation around the base of my cock. I picked up the pace, and after a moment of panic thinking that I was about to pee all over myself, this wonderful pulsing feeling began and I just stopped and watched. You know how if you turn on a hose really low, and then you hold it so that it's pointing up and the water just sort of bubbles out the top? That was my first cum. Thin and runny, not thick and gooey. It trickled down all sides of my shaft and into my pubic hair. Kind of a mess to clean up, but I did, and then I wrote in my own journal about the experience:
I got another condem and this time I will follow the instructions in the "underware" book: hold the closed part between your thumb and finger to push out all the air. Place the condem over the erect penis with your fingers on the top. Roll it down with the other hand.--12:02 A.M. Wednesday April 28, 1993: Ejaculation with condem on finally!
We got AOL on the computer sometime within the next year. A kid at school told me about the porn he had found online, and gave me a list of FTP sites and newsgroups (this was before the World Wide Web was the driving force of the Internet, and AOL didn't even have a web browser yet). Looking back at it, it was truely astonishing how EASY it was to get porn on AOL. Not just any porn either. It was shockingly easy to find, download, and view porn of children on AOL in the early 90s. As I was only about 13 myself, I thought that it was the kind of porn I was meant to look at. I had no concept of the legal issues surrounding it, nor any hint that what I was doing was breaking the law. I mean, if it was that readily accessable, it must be just fine, right? I showed some of it to my older brother, who quickly set me straight and had me delete all the pictures I had saved. What I no longer had in pictures, I at least had in words.
Shortly thereafter, I started writing erotica (rather poorly) myself as something to do over spring break. My first story was a sibling orgy (titled Sisters), followed by a girl's first time at a teen sex party (titled Party). I had a few others, but those two were the only ones I considered either done or close to being done, with me eventually posting Sisters onto one of the many sex story newsgroups. I continued to read online, which eventually lead me to find the preteen incest holy land known as mrdouble.com. I got by with the free previews of the stories there for years, eventually buying a membership on my 18th birthday. It was around that time that I also started exploring cybersex channels on IRC, going from the relative safety of the JackinChat channels to the more seedy underbelly of DalNet and Undernet's dad and daughter incest roleplaying channels, where I continue to go now. I also hit upon my current moniker of 'Hardguy' after starting a now defunct masturbation blog with the user name of JustAnotherHardGuy.
In 2004, inspired by a story I had read on mrdouble.com about young girls trading sex for new clothes at the mall, I started writing what would eventually become 'It Began One Day At The Mall.' A little over a year and a half later, I had written 87 pages and offered it up as my first story at mrdouble.com. Of the other 8 or so story ideas I had in the process of writing 'It Began,' one would evolve into 'As It Was Meant To Be,' which took nearly a year to complete, the bulk of the work coming after I had the characters in 'It Began' to build off of. 'I Gotta Jack Off!' and 'The Gym Teacher' filled in the months between 'It Began' and 'As It Was Meant,' and I had myself 4 stories in 4 months on mrdouble.com.
I'm not sure if it was writer's block or an overabundance of ideas that eventually slowed me down, but despite significant headway being made on 'Daddysbed,' I never managed to get another story finished and submitted to mrdouble.com again. Eventually whatever privledges I had enjoyed on that site as an author were revoked due to lack of new material. I continued to write here and there over the next few years, always thinking I'd eventually get back into things, but the more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to have what I wrote locked away and making money for somebody else. Shortly before I submitted my first story, he had been paying the authors on his site based on how many hits their stories had in a month. I was never in it for the money, and so when that author perk went away about a month before I submitted 'It Began,' I was ok with it, since I would still receive complimentary access to the other stories on the site. After that was taken away from me, I was briefly motivated to write more, but for me, I can't be forced to write. Either I was into it, or I wasn't, and I just wasn't anymore.
Finally, in the summer of 2010, while lamenting to a friend online about how I'd like to write again, this time for a public audience, they suggested to me asstr-mirror.org. Once I made sure that what I wrote was allowed here, I applied for membership, requested the removal of my stories from mrdouble.com (which incidently also got me booted from the forums there, a not so subtle hint that I wasn't welcome there anymore if I wasn't going to write for the site anymore), and set up shop here. I gotta say, it's nice not only being able to write at my own pace without worry of losing authorship perks, but also I get to write my own damn webpage and really communicate with readers who don't have to pay for the privledge of seeing what my brain has spewed forth onto the virtual page. I think I like it here.
Hardguy
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Last updated: 04/03/2017 3:24