Fetishdoll - Paula's Story

"I leave you alone for one week and come home to you...you...what in the hell! Oh Dear GOD Almighty!!"
My Mom looked like she was about to have a fucking heart attack! Desire had taken the belt off me now and she stood holding me in her arms. I clutched to Desire for safety and Desire smiled defiantly at my mother.
"Oh God Paula! Not only are you in her having some kind of sex orgy, but you are with a God damn NIGGER!"
"Hey! Who the hell are you calling a nigger!" Desire screamed back.
My Mom's hand whipped up to her mouth and she stood pointing at Desire. If the whole situation hadn't been so fucked up, I probably would have started laughing.
"You! You...are...you're a girl!"
I looked at Desire and only noticing for the first time how much she could be mistaken for a man or a woman. I thought she was beautifully female.
"Well this isn't exactly how I wanted to meet your Mom, but..."
Then my Mom walks straight up to me and SLAP! she practically knocks me to the ground.
"But Mom..." I try to say but she hits me again.
"GET OUT NOW! RIGHT FUCKING NOW! I don't care if you are all walking down the street naked, if you aren't out in three seconds, I'm calling the cops!" she screams.
Something snaps and I yell, "Go ahead and call the cops you bitch! What are you going to do?! Tell them your daughters a whore!? Is that what you are going to tell them? Well who made me this way!? HUH!? Who fucking made me a little whore!?" I yell.
My Mom is stunned! She just looks at me like I'm this freak she doesn't know and I guess this makes me feel like I have some power so I just let it all out. Sixteen years of hell and nightmares comes pouring out.
"What!? Having a problem remembering? How many did you let them come in my bedroom, Mom?! HOW MANY!?" I scream.
"I....I.... don't know what you're talking about, just....just get out." she almost whispers.
Then her latest thing, 'Bill' comes in the room and he walks over to her and helps hold her up. Yeah! Like she's the fucking victim! I know I should stop, but the anger is like a fire inside me and I ask her again, "How many times did you hear me screaming Mom? How fucking many times?!!"
Desire tries to pull me away, maybe out of the house, but I jerk away from her and scream, "No, get off me!"
"How many of them did you know about Mom? HOW FUCKING MANY?! Have you told Bill? Is he fucking next!? Is that how you get him to take you on trips and pay for shit?! You promise he can fuck me?!"
Then she freaks out completely and she starts screaming, "GET OUT! JUST GET OUT!" and she is shaking her head and crying and I just charge into my room. I don't know where Desire is but I put on some clothes as quick as I can. Desire walks into my room and she looks confused and angry. She tries to say something but I just have this complete adrenaline rush and I storm out of the room, ready for blood. Mr. Boyfriend, Bill, is standing out in the hall and he is like, "I really think you should leave." and I'm all like thinkin', 'who the fuck is this asshole?'. He is like, "She called the cops and told them you attacked her, I'm trying to calm her down, but I've never seen her like this." I just look him in the eye and I say, "Oh yeah? Well get used to it!" I pause and look down the hall and then I say, in a loud voice so she can hear, "Just give her some booze, she'll forget all about it. That's what always worked in the past!" and she starts screaming again for me to get out.
Desire grabs my arm and says, "Listen, I think we should go."
"Yeah...Ok."
I walk past her and Bill is holding her and she is crying and then she says, "Go on! Try to run away with your nigger! I hope they lock you up! I hope they fucking never let you out!"

"Wow! That was really too much! I can't believe your Mom! What a bitch!"
After a few minutes I look over at Desire like I'm coming out of a dream. Then I ask, "Can you take me to Tina's?"
"Who is Tina?"
"She is my best friend. I really need to go to Tina's."

The ride to Tina's house is completely a dream.
Desire left me with Tina. She offered for me to come stay with her but I thanked Desire as best I could and ran into Tina's arms crying. I spent the next few minutes telling her all of what happened. Thank God her parents weren't home! But then I hear cars outside and Tina looks out the window and then turns around and says, "It's the cops!"
"What? She really called them?"
"Yeah, oh God Paula, what are you going to do?"
"I'm not going back into a home Tina, I just can't do that! You don't know what it's like, it sucks!"
"But they are coming up the drive, what are we gonna do?!"
"Just hide Tina. They don't know you are home. I'm going out the window in the basement."
"But they will find you! Paula..." and Tina starts crying. As soon as they knock on the door, I bolt for the basement door and run down the steps. I slide the window open and try to get out as quiet as I can. I'm scared and hurt and angry and my heart is pumping so hard I think I'm going to die!
Finally I'm out and I just run as hard as I can. After several minutes I just start to walk toward downtown. I don't really know what I'm going to do or where I'm going to go. I just know I can't go back home. Maybe ever!
I end up in the downtown area, not because I think it's a good place to be, but because it's somewhere where I'll be lost in a crowd. I see a bunch of punks hangin' outside a club and so I go up to the door. They all look at me suspiciously but I walk in. Some tattooed guy with an almost bald head asks me for 6 bucks and I tell him I don't have any cash on me. He looks me up and down and I smile at him. He looks at my tits poking through the little tshirt I put on and he smiles, "Ok, you are on the guest list, but don't fucking try to drink or I'll kick your ass!" he tells me. I say sure and wink at him and he is like, "Go on!"
The place is a mixture of Goths and freaks and the band is this really freaky goth/industrial band that I've never heard of. I go stand in a corner and try to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do. I can't believe I went off on my Mom! Hell, I don't know if she ever knew what some of her boyfriends did to me when I was a kid, but she had to, right? I mean how could she NOT fucking know? Then it all hits me like a wave and I start crying. Not just boohoo, but deep sobbing kinda crying. I hear this girls voice, "Hey! What's the matter?"
"Just go away." I say.
"Sure, no problem." she says.
After a few seconds I look up and she is still squatting beside me. "Yeah, I'm still here. Wanna go outside and have a smoke? You know? Talk about it?" she askes.
I slowly nod my head and she pulls me by the wrist and takes me out to this little spot where all the kids are smoking and hangin'.
She is this little goth girl, and she has wavy black hair (dyed) and it looks like she has white make-up on to make her skin look pale. She has bright red, very full lips and her bottom lip is pierced with a ring. She is wearing a little black buckle up top and you can see her chest through the buckles. She has on a long black velvet skirt and black boots. We walk outside and we sit down on a parking stop (what are those things called?), Anyway, we squat there and smoke and I tell her as much as I feel like I need to. She is like, "Wow, that is fucked up!" then there is this really long pause where I'm not sure if she really heard a word I said, then she says, "So where are you going to stay?" I look at her and shrug my shoulders.
"Hey! I know some kids that are squatters and they are stayin' in this old house downtown. You could stay with them! I mean the house sucks and it's all fallin' apart and shit, but the kids are cool. I mean you'll be safe with them."
"Are you gonna stay there?" I ask hopefully.
"We are going to go hang out there after the show, but I don't live there or anything."
"We? Who are you with?" I say disappointed.
"Me and my sister." she says.
I brighten up a bit.
We go back into the show and the band has started to play. Cinnamon (The girl I just met) wants to move up front and I tell her to go ahead. I watch all the kids just standing around. Most are not dancing or even moving. I watch the other kids more than the band and plus, I'm still a little numb. Then I have to pee, so I go to the bathroom. When I come out, Sin (as all her friends call her) is up at the bar, but she is dressed different. I'm freaking but I go up to her and I'm like, "What's up Sin?" She looks at me and she says, "Who are you?"
"What? Come on, stop fucking around." I say nervously. She smiles a knowing smile and she puts her arm around me and points up on the stage. I can't see what she is pointing at but she yells (cause the music is very loud) "Look!" and I look. Sitting up on a speaker is Sin! So I do the proverbial double take and then she says, "Don't worry about it! We get this all the time. I'm Cinnamon's twin, Krystal." I laugh and she shakes my hand and asks me what's going on? We talk a little while and she is just as nice as Sin, but they both have this kinda cocky air about them, like they both know they are hot shit....which they are. It kinda gets on my nerves but they are the only friends I've got at the moment so I just ignore it.
Sitting there looking at her talk to the bar tender, I realize there is almost no way to tell them apart. They both have the same full curly black hair, the same full pouty red lips, the same smooth nearly perfect white skin. I guess they have a reason to be cocky, after all they are both drop dead gorgeous, with amazing bodies and beautiful faces.
I hate them already.

Later, we all pile in this guy Toxic Scott's car and head off to a part of town I don't know. We end up at this old house and there are already kids out in the yard. It's pretty far out and so I get a little nervous. Almost all the kids are my age, so I don't feel too out of place. The evening goes on and I meet most of the people and they are all very alternative and all very nice. I won't bore you any more than I probably already have, but the event that is important is Sin tells me to go into the kitchen. Most of the house has little or no furniture. The kitchen doesn't have anything but a little grill, but it does have a working sink. Somebody has gone into each room and drawn furniture on all the walls. So the rooms that don't have much of anything have like beds and chest of drawers and mirrors and stuff drawn onto the walls.
We go into the kitchen and there is a refrigerator drawn onto the wall and a stove beside it. Sin brings me over to some of her friends and we all talk and introduce ourselves and this guy pulls out some foil from his pocket, unfolds it carefully and hands us each a little square of paper. They all pop theirs into their mouths and so I do too. I know this sounds naive, but I honestly didn't even know what the hell I had just done. So I'm standing there with this paper and Sin laughs.
"Swallow it." she says.
I swallow.