Chapter Three

Lyssa Page wanted to say it was good to be home, but the truth was it was horrible. She had thought herself cried out by the time she got to her little condo in Niles, Illinois, but she was not. Throwing her bag on the double bed in her room, she dug through it until she found the packet of pictures. She pushed the bag off the bed and laid out every one of the photographs to look them over, it did not take her long to notice that two were missing.

"He took two of the pictures. Is he insane? What if Niki finds them?" Lyssa asked her otherwise empty room.

Lyssa was glad she had taken an extra few days off work. She had hoped she would need recovery time from her adventure but the type of recovery she was going to be making was not the one she had expected. She lay on her bed to continue looking at the pictures. There was one picture that was her favorite. It was one of the pictures Helen had taken of the two of them; one of the pair that Sabrin had removed. She ran her finger over the picture wishing she could be touching Sabrin instead of just his image. The pace of her weekend began to catch up with her. She put the pictures, save one, back in the envelope and put them on her nightstand. The remaining picture she propped up against the lamp. She changed quickly into her "normal" pajamas and lay in bed, staring at that picture until she fell asleep, physically and emotionally exhausted.

While it was difficult for Lyssa to be alone, with no one to call to help her with her grieving, for Sabrin it was, in some ways, harder.

With Niki at home when Sabrin got in, he was forced to bury his distress. He had tried to sleep during the flight, but images of Sarah kept coming to mind. He ran through the weekend in its entirety, trying to be certain he forgot nothing. But was that such a good idea? Maybe he should try and forget everything?

Niki was in bed asleep when Sabrin came in, but she awoke when he came into the bedroom.

“Did you have a good nap on the flight?” she asked, believing that he must have, since he always did.

Sabrin put on a happy face, he was an actor, after all. He could convince her that all was well. “The flight was a little bumpy. It kept waking me up. I feel like I haven’t slept at all. I’m going to shower and come to bed.” Sabrin needed to be sure no trace of Sarah's scent was on his body.

Lyssa was awakened suddenly by the ringing of her phone. She was not fully awake when she glanced at her clock to see the time. It was 1:00 p.m. She had been sleeping for hours but still felt drained. She turned to answer the phone on the other side of the bed. In her grogginess she half expected to see Sabrin lying there but she was alone. She answered the phone on the fourth ring.

"Hello," she mumbled, sounding still half asleep.

"Honey, is that you? Were you still sleeping? I just had to call you to make sure you made it back in one piece. Where did you disappear to in Denver after the Q&A? I know you’re keeping something from me, Honey. You met someone there, didn't you? I want details, details and more details. Oh, and I have some news. I'm going to be in Chicago next month. Can you believe it? My boss just out of the blue today tells me that I'm being sent to meet with some clients in Chicago next month. I'll let you know more when I get more details. Now Lyssa, let's talk girlfriend."

Lyssa laughed. "Hello Sonny."

Lyssa told Sonny she had been asleep and was not sure she remembered her own name right now. He told her to take a shower and he would call her back. She agreed, hung up and headed for her bathroom.

Under the water spray, Lyssa decided she really did need to talk to someone about this, even if she could not tell anyone who her affair had been with.

She was just getting dressed when the phone rang again. Sonny was skeptical as his long time friend told him about a man she had met and been instantly and intensely attracted to. She described the mystery man as in the spotlight, but also in a known relationship. She apologized for not being able to give him the full story, but had promised this man she would not cause him any trouble once the affair ended and she intended to keep her word.

Sonny admired her integrity, but he doubted certain aspects of her story. For some reason, the fact that Sabrin Berry was at the restaurant and had seemed to pose for her picture kept coming to mind.

The following day for Sabrin started much the same as Lyssa's. He slept for most of the morning before Niki woke him up around 11:30. She told him about her weekend while she unpacked his bag. When she pulled out the Colorado Rockies jersey, she gave him an incredulous look.

"You bought a new shirt?" she commented as she studied it. She brought the shirt closer to her face and Sabrin was momentarily gripped with panic over what she might smell. "Eeewww! This shirt smells likes beer. Can I throw it out?"

"No, don't!” he said, jumping to pull the shirt from her hands.  “The smell will come out when it's washed."

"Why does it smell like that? What were you up to in Denver?" She looked skeptical.

"I had some time to kill, so I went on a brewery tour, that's all." He motioned to the bag, "I can finish unpacking," he told her with a smile.

Niki relented, but found it odd that Sabrin seemed to favor that shirt as the weeks passed.

The pictures Sabrin had of Sarah were hidden in a drawer of old scripts he kept in his library. He had found himself pulling the pictures out anytime he could not sleep at first, but as time went by, he found himself looking more often and, when he went to Vermont for the film, the pictures went with him.

Sonny was due to arrive tomorrow and had asked to take Lyssa to dinner.

Lyssa met Sonny outside the building where his meeting was taking place. They were going to go for dinner at Sonny's favorite restaurant until Lyssa had to break the bad news that it was closed.

"Closed! They closed Marco's? How could they close Marco's? Marco's was great!" Sonny was quite upset with this news until Lyssa told him the cute waiter he liked was now working at Giovanni’s.

"Why didn't you say so in the first place? You know Giovanni’s is really my favorite place. I only wanted to go to Marco's ‘cause I thought you did,” he said this as if it should have been obvious.

She laughed. It was great to see Sonny again. He was a welcome diversion from what she had been going through for the past month.

Dinner was great. Watching Sonny flirt outrageously with Randy, the cute waiter, was side-splittingly funny. They walked to a coffee and dessert place for some chocolate indulgence and then drove back to Lyssa's place. Sonny needed a place to stay for the night and Lyssa insisted he stay in her spare room. Sonny, who wanted the chance to do some detail digging, accepted eagerly.

Since he was only going to be in town overnight Sonny had packed everything he needed in his large briefcase. He told Lyssa about the meeting and how he had forgotten about his things being in the briefcase.

"I started to pull out a report for the client and one item got stuck on the corner. Luckily I spotted it and the client didn't,” he laughed. "Could you imagine his face if I had pulled out that report and there is my leopard thong hanging from the corner?"

"You brought the thong?" Lyssa questioned, gasping and laughing at the same time.

"Honey, you know I always come prepared. Now, I want more details on this mystery man of yours. Okay sister, spill everything," he coaxed.

Lyssa put her hands on her hips and tried to smile. Suddenly it became very hard to lie to him, but she just could not tell him the truth.

"What is that? A new picture?" Sonny exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He almost ran over to her fireplace mantle to grab the picture framed there. It was the one of the whole group at the beer tour. Sabrin was, of course, in it but since most people would not recognize the sexy gray haired man for who he was, Lyssa had seen no reason to hide this one. But she had forgotten Sonny was one of the few who would indeed know that face.

Sonny picked up the picture, scanned it and laughed in triumph. “A new picture and funny if Sabrin Berry isn’t in it. Just how did he come to be in this picture, my Honey child?” Moving to stand just in front of her, Sonny narrowed his eyes at his friend. "You sneaky bitch! So the mystery man in Denver was Sabrin Berry. I knew it! Why didn't you say so?" Sonny was pretending to sound offended but he understood Lyssa's reasons. He replaced the picture and returned to the couch, to sit next to Lyssa. Seeing the turmoil in her eyes, his expression softened.

"Honey, it's me. You know you can tell me anything and it won't go any further than this room. I swear on my leopard thong," he smiled.

Lyssa trusted Sonny more than anyone. She knew he would never betray that trust. But instead of words of explanation, Lyssa burst into tears. It had been hell going to work, seeing other friends and even talking to family, but never being able to say a word about the most awesome thing that had ever happened to her in her life. Sonny wrapped her up in his arms and soothed her for a long while before she was able to calm down enough to talk.

She told him everything. Every last detail she could think of, she told him, including how Sabrin had been jealous of Sonny when he saw them at dinner. Sonny loved that part, but he held back on reacting to that because Lyssa was still very upset.

"You fell in love with him, didn't you, my sweet foolish Honey?"

She did not say anything but Sonny knew. He could read her like a book and this one was reading like a classic tragic love story.

"What are you going to do now, Honey? It's been a month. Have you heard from him at all?"

"Of course not, Sonny. I told you he doesn't know my real name or where I live. How could he possibly contact me?" Her voice was filled with heartache.

Sonny rocked Lyssa in his arms while she tried to regain her composure. "Oh Honey, if he cares about you as much as you care about him, he'll find a way." Sonny thought but did not dare say out loud, ~ I know I would. ~

Three months later, Sonny's words would become prophetic. Sabrin had also found the need to spill the beans to someone. Paul Smythe, one of his closest friends who had also been on ‘Time and Space’, seemed the logical choice. They met for lunch one afternoon and Sabrin laid out the whole sordid story.

“What do you want to do, Sabrin? Is there anything you can do?” Paul asked him. Sabrin admitted he knew almost nothing about Sarah, not even her real name. He showed Paul the picture he kept with him as much as possible now.

"I can see why she's gotten to you like this. She's a beautiful lady,” Paul said as he handed the picture back to Sabrin. "Would you mind if I offered you some advice?” He began in a sympathetic tone, “this situation is torturing you, my friend. You haven’t been yourself for a while. You either need to forget this Sarah completely or find her. You can't go on like this. You'll drive yourself insane."

"Thanks, Paul. You're right," Sabrin agreed, "I can't go on like this but I don't have a clue how to go about finding her."

"That's why you hire people that do," replied Paul.

Two nights later, Sabrin was in the library and working on locating a good, discrete detective when something Sarah had said to him during their all too short time together came back to him like a lightening bolt to his brain. She had mentioned visiting a fan site dedicated to his character. That had been where she had discovered the details of his Denver convention appearance. What if he contacted the woman who ran that site? Would she help him locate a “long lost friend”?

He e-mailed the woman with his request. He had given her an interview or two, so this woman knew his e-mail, but had never given it out. He knew he could trust her if she wanted more interviews. It only took hours before the woman e-mailed him her reply. She gave him her phone number and he called her, blocking his, with his cell phone.

Two days later, her site was updated with a message from Sabrin titled “Desperately Seeking Sarah.” If someone clicked the link, they would be asked three questions: “1) What was the city? 2) What was the elderly lady’s first name? 3) What number was on the shirt?” If all three questions were answered perfectly, the person would be transferred to another site where a message awaited. Even the woman who owned the site did not know how to access it or what it said. But Sabrin prayed one woman would.

The days passed and Sabrin was becoming more concerned each day that Sarah would not find the message. He went to the website every day to check that his plea was still there. All he could do was wait and if he did not hear from her soon it would be on to Plan B and hiring a detective.

It was a Saturday afternoon when Lyssa received a frantic phone call from Sonny.

"Honey, have you got your computer on? Are you on the net?" he all but screamed in desperation. He sounded like he had just run the hundred meter dash he was so breathless. She had never heard this type of urgency in his voice before.

"Calm down, Sonny. I haven't surfed in over a week. Why?"

"Listen to me, girlfriend. Get that computer on and check out Berryfans.org, NOW!" He was practically ordering her.

"Okay, okay. I'm online now and I'll go there. I don't know what your problem is Sonny but-"

Sonny heard a thud. It was the sound of the receiver hitting the floor. A moment later he could hear Lyssa pick the phone back up.

"You saw it, didn't you? I'll let you go now Honey. Love ya. Bye."

Lyssa hung up the phone and stared blankly at her computer screen, reading the words "Desperately Seeking Sarah" over and over again. 

Sabrin got on his computer and checked his online stat tracker, as he had done for the past week. His breathing became shallow when he saw there had been one visitor to the webpage his message was on.

Sabrin had left Sarah a heart felt and, yes, desperate plea to contact him.

"I have been trying to convince myself that what we had was just an affair, but I can't, Sarah. It’s been months and I can't forget you. I don't want to forget you. I love you, Sarah. Please contact me. Please!" He had followed this with his e-mail address and his cell phone number.

He scrambled through his e-mail, praying one was from her, but his heart was in his throat when he realized none of them were.

Sabrin was forced to do some serious buying to make up for a fight he caused with Niki that night, all because his temper was on such a short fuse.

Two days had passed since Lyssa read the message from Sabrin. She called Sonny, as she desperately needed someone to talk to about this. Sonny was so happy to hear Lyssa's voice on the other end of the phone. He was dying to know what the message was.

"What did he say, Honey? You have to tell me,” he pleaded.

"He wants me to contact him, Sonny, but I don't know if I should. I want to so badly but I don't want to do anything that will ruin his life."

"Honeybunches, if he's posting a message on a website asking you to contact him it will ruin his life more if you don't. Do it or I'll fly there tonight and force you too. I'm going to call you back in thirty minutes and if you haven't done it by then I’ll be calling a taxi to take me to the airport. Got it?" he told her firmly.

Lyssa sat down at the computer and began to compose a message to Sabrin. She hesitated a long time before pressing the send button.

Sabrin sat at his computer checking his email for the third time when he finally saw it. The email subject line said "Desperately Seeking Sabrin" and was from a woman named Lyssa Page.

"So, I'm in love with Lyssa Page," Sabrin whispered almost voicelessly. He felt sure by the title line, this would not be a refusal. It could not be. She had to agree to contact him. With a shaking hand, Sabrin clicked on the email to open it.

“Sabrin, I’m not sure what you see happening now, but I will agree to call you on January 1st at 11 a.m. central time. I admit, I have been thinking of you too. Send a reply, so I know you received this, but let’s just keep it to that for now. Lyssa Page (Sarah)”

Sabrin was not sure he was going to be able to wait the two weeks for January 1st to come around, but he had no choice. He sent her an email promising to wait until that day and that he would not send another email until they had spoken.

Sonny called back exactly when he said he would and Lyssa told him it would not be necessary for him to fly out. He made her cross her heart swear that she was telling him the truth about responding to Sabrin’s plea. With a laugh, she swore on his leopard thong that she had.

Lyssa tried to throw herself into her work. This was always a strange time of year for her. She had a few Christmas parties to attend and had been invited for Christmas dinner by her friend, Anna who always gathered her single friends together for Christmas so she could commiserate with them about still being single. Even though Lyssa was Jewish, she still had a very busy Christmas time.

Lyssa flew to her parent's house in Southern Illinois for the holiday and Sonny flew to her house for New Year’s. He was without a lover at the time so they had agreed to spend this lover's holiday together.

"I wish you'd get transferred back to Chicago, I miss your nosy nose," she teased Sonny after he asked her if Sabrin had e-mailed her again. "Other than his reply, he’s done as I asked and left me alone."

"You’re calling him in the morning, right?" Sonny asked, making sure.

"Yes, I am." Lyssa rolled her eyes at him.

"So Honey bunny, it's New Year's Eve. Are we going to rock this town tonight or are you going to sit here all night and drive yourself and me crazy?"

Lyssa knew Sonny would not take no for an answer, so she reluctantly agreed to a compromise of dinner, a movie and then dessert at their favorite hangout. The evening went by quickly and she was happy Sonny had forced her out. They enjoyed a couple of glasses of champagne to toast in the New Year and then returned to her condo. Lyssa was a little restless, but eventually fell asleep well after midnight.

New Year's Day started with Sonny's special breakfast as his way of thanking Lyssa for letting him stay with her. They talked for a while and then Sonny looked at the clock. He smiled at Lyssa, handed her the phone and told her he was going out for a few hours. He was meeting Randy, the cute waiter from Giovanni's, for lunch and wanted to be early. He kissed her on the cheek. As he was heading out the door he called back to her, "Good luck, Honey."

Sabrin had partied long, hard and very late with some of the annoying friends of Niki's and then with some of his own friends. He and Niki were in bed asleep when Sabrin was awakened by what he thought was his cell chirping from somewhere. He rolled over complaining about calls at this ungodly hour only to see the time was 9 a.m. - 11 a.m. in Sarah, no, Lyssa's time zone. In nothing but boxer shorts, Sabrin catapulted out of his bed and raced out of his open bedroom door, trying to find the location of the phone. He found his pants downstairs in the front hall and almost ripped the pocket trying to dig out his cell just as it stopped ringing. “Damn!” he groaned in frustration. He looked at the display. “Number blocked” it read. “No!” he sighed in despair. He took the cell with him and went to the library. He would e-mail her to call back; he only missed her call by a second. The computer was booting up when the phone rang again. He answered on the first ring. “Lyssa?”

“Sabrin?” came the voice that he had longed for months to hear.

“Lyssa, I’m so sorry. I overslept. I found my phone just as you hung up. Lyssa, I’ve missed you.”

The sound of Sabrin’s voice had an immediate affect on Lyssa. Doubts and worries seemed to vanish and were replaced with longing and need.

"I've missed you too, Sabrin. Can you talk?" she asked.

"Yes. Niki's upstairs asleep. Lyssa, I've been going out of my mind thinking about you, about us. There’s so much I want to say to you that I don't know where to start."

"It hasn't been very easy for me either but I don't know what we’re supposed to do, Sabrin."

"I have to see you again, Lyssa. We need to talk face to face to figure out what we’re going to do. I'm going to New York next week to meet with a producer about a role. It's for one of the plays I told you about. Meet me in New York, Lyssa. Please!" Sabrin pleaded.

"You seem to think I'm someone who can afford to just go flying about the country," she laughed and tried not to sound upset. There was no way she could afford another plane ticket in just one week. "I'd love to met you, but I-"

"I'll send you a ticket. One week, Lyssa. Please, tell me you'll come."

"I hate to ask you to pay my way-"

"You're not asking, I am. I have to see you," he pleaded.

"I want to see you too,” she sighed. “All right. Here's my address." Lyssa gave him her address and, under protest, her phone number. "Niki's going to find out. What are you going to do if she finds out?"

"That's my problem, Lyssa. I'll deal with it if it comes up. You will come to New York?" he asked again, just to make sure.

"Yes, I'll come," she promised.

“I'll take care of everything. I'll make arrangements for you to be picked up at LaGuardia. You won't have to worry about anything," he assured her. Sabrin tried to keep her on the phone for as long as he could so he could keep listening to the sound of her voice. Lyssa could hear Niki calling to Sabrin in the background.

"You have to go."

"I'll see you in a week. Thank you, Lyssa. It means a lot to me."

They said their good-byes and hung up, but Lyssa wondered if she had done the right thing.

Sonny's date went better than he had expected and he did not arrive back at Lyssa's until the next morning. She was sitting in the living room, drinking a cup of coffee, when he came in. She had taken the morning off so she could take Sonny to the airport.

He prodded Lyssa for details about her conversation with Sabrin but before she could tell him anything there was a buzz on the intercom.

"Delivery for Lyssa Page."

She buzzed the deliveryman in and waited at the door. He had a vase with what looked to be two dozen red roses in his arm. She signed for the delivery and he handed her an envelope and the flowers. The delivery was from Sabrin. In the envelope was her airline ticket. He worked fast.

"Two dozen roses! What did you do with him? I slept with Randy but all I got was a breakfast of coffee and a blowjob."

Lyssa was still looking at the ticket and the card from Sabrin. It read, "Can't wait to see you, love Sabrin." She walked slowly to her dining table and placed the heavy vase of flowers on it. She slowly sank into a chair, staring at them.

"Are you all right, Honey?" Sonny asked, noting she looked pale.

"It just hit me, he's not going to leave Niki. He’ll stay with her and if he decides to, he'll see me on the side. I'll be his mistress." She sounded aghast.

"You could do far worse than be Sabrin Berry's mistress, Honey. You could have been a one night stand that he never wanted to see again or you could have never met him at all," Sonny reminded her, gently.

"I don't know if I want to be a mistress, Sonny. It's not really something I’ve envisioned for myself." Lyssa finally focused on Sonny, but still looked lost.

"Honey, you told me that when you were a little girl, you dreamed of being a princess or the President. Did you ever envision yourself as an underpaid, overworked office manager?"

"Of course not," she halfheartedly laughed.

"Sometimes you have to change your dreams for them to come true. What the hell did I just say? Well you know what I mean. You want to be with this man so do what you have to do to be with him. You only live once, Honey." He gave her a consoling smile and pulled her into his arms again.

Lyssa drove Sonny to the airport three hours later. They had an emotional goodbye and he promised he would be back soon. Lyssa then went to work as the underpaid, overworked office manager she was. Maybe Sonny was right, she decided.

Friday took forever to arrive, but it did finally come. Lyssa's bag had been packed for days and was in the trunk of her car. She made her plane and spent most of the flight shaking. She looked down at her hands, ordering them to be still, but unlike before, when she had broken into Sabrin’s room, they would not listen.

A driver holding a sign with her name on it met her at La Guardia and drove her to the RIHGA Royal Hotel.

She was taken immediately to their suite and had to try very hard not to lose her cool in front of the bellman. It was huge. It was also something out of dreams it was so elegant. Lyssa tipped the bellman and looked around the room for fifteen minutes before she heard the door open again. Lyssa turned around to see Sabrin stride quickly across the room to gather her into his arms.

"I was so afraid you wouldn't be here,” he whispered.

"I said I would be. I wouldn't lie to you." She still could not believe this was really happening. The last time, she had gone to great pains to meet with this man, now the shoe was on the other foot and he was the one risking it all to be here with her.

He kissed her a little tentatively as if he was not sure if she would respond. He kissed her a second time and then a flood of emotion came crashing through the gates as they shared a far more passionate kiss.

Lyssa then walked to the couch in the room and sat down, motioning Sabrin to sit too.

"We need to talk, Sabrin, before anything else happens. We need to talk." She hid her hands between her knees so he could not see them shaking.

"Why do I fear those words?" he asked. He followed her and sat, but he felt his insides go cold. He reached for her hand and with a nervous smile she gave it to him.

"I need to know what you’re looking for? One more fling or-" she began.

"NO! Lyssa, no!" Sabrin turned to face her more directly and took hold of her other hand, his expression passionately serious. "I can't go through that again. I don't want this to end. I said it before and I'm even more sure now. You wouldn’t let me say it in Denver, but it was true then and it’s still true now, I love you!"

"But you don't intend to leave Niki, do you?" Her tone held no accusation. She was only asking for clarification, but he still felt the guilt.

“I can’t.” His expression turned to one of a little lost boy. “I owe a lot to her. Her family is well connected in the industry. I would never have gotten the part in ‘Time and Space’ without her family’s influence. I’m established now but how much of that is because of me or her family...” 

She nodded her understanding. His insecurities over his career were well known, even by his fans. “I would never ask you to give up your career, or even do anything to jeopardize it. I just want to clearly define...what are we going to be?" she asked. "I'm trying to understand what you're asking of me. I didn't want to change your life, but I think you're asking me to change mine."

"You're right. I am asking you to change your life, even more than it already has. That weekend in Denver changed both of our lives forever. We can't go back to the way it was before we met. I wouldn't want to even if we could. The past four months without you have been hell!"

She nodded her head in agreement.

"Please Lyssa, I want us to be together as much as possible. We can find a way," he pleaded.

Lyssa felt like her head was spinning. She had been afraid to hope for more than another brief affair, but this was unbelievable. He was here and begging her to be with him as often as they could manage. It was not a fairy tale, but she was no princess.

"I agree to try," she told him.

Sabrin looked stunned for just a moment before he grabbed her in a fierce embrace. He brought her lips to his and kissed her, releasing all of the penned up emotions he had been forced to hide. He kissed her deeply and hungrily. He broke the kiss for only a moment. “Make love. Have to have you, Lyssa. Please, let’s make love,” his voice was only an impassioned whisper.

Lyssa stood up and held out her hand. Sabrin reached for it as he stood up. Lyssa led him to the bedroom. She ran her hand along his cheek and kissed him.

"I want us to make love more than anything, Sabrin," she whispered and kissed him again passionately.

Sabrin felt strong enough to stop a speeding Mac truck and light enough to fly. Two feet from the bed, he picked her up, laid her gently on her back to kiss her and move over her. "I love you," he told her again. He kept hoping she would say it back to him, but she just smiled and kissed him again. He began to unzip her dress while she unbuttoned his shirt. The desire he was feeling was so strong he was sure he would burst into a flame if could not sink inside her now. He could not get her clothes off her fast enough. When finally he had skin to touch he brought his mouth and hands to explore every inch of the body that he had longed for. He was dizzy with passion when he was finally able to enter her. His head was so full of love, desire, passion and insane need.

In a moment of confusion caused by the intensity of the moment, Sabrin called her "Sarah". But it was not another woman's name, so she did not mind.

Lyssa's senses were screaming, trying to gather all they had so desperately missed. His touch gave her gooseflesh, his scent drove her wild and his voice moaning her name, she had missed that so much. Their bodies were brimming over with passion.

It took them no time at all to bubble over and flood them both with wave after wave of love's deep reward. Their bodies, covered in dampness, were tightly entwined as the desperate need left them sated. Sabrin opened his eyes and just looked at her. The face that had filled his dreams and haunted his nightmares was here. He wanted no more dreams of losing her. He never wanted to lose her again.

They lay in each other's arms silently for sometime, just studying each other's faces. He lightly swept his fingers over her arm as he kissed her softly on the lips.

"I've missed you so much, Lyssa. I feel so alive with you." Sabrin was so overcome with emotion. Lyssa watched as a tear rolled slowly down his check. She reached to wipe it off and kissed him tenderly.

"I feel the same. I have to tell you something though. Sonny knows about us. I didn't want him to know, but he dug for the truth and then saw a picture I had at my place of you. I'm sorry if you’re angry with me. He won’t tell, I'm sure of it." She saw he did not look upset.

"Will he help us?" Sabrin asked, sitting up. She could see the wheels turning in his eyes.

"How?" She asked, sitting up too.

"I don't know yet, but if the need arose, would he?" he asked.

Lyssa grinned. "I'm sure he would. He threatened to come and make me contact you if I didn't do it on my own. He was actually the one who saw your message on that website."

"You need to let me officially meet him soon. I’ve got to buy this guy a car."

It was so good to hear Lyssa laugh. When Sabrin first arrived she had seemed in such turmoil but now he could see that glow returning to her face. When she was happy, he was happy.

"When's the last time you were in New York" he asked.

“Last year. I was here for a conference that my employers wanted me to attend."

"Good. Then we don't have to worry about sightseeing."

"Are you saying you plan on keeping me cooped up here the whole weekend?" she asked, giving him a disapproving look.

His eyes went wide. "I-I want to be alone with you. It’s been four months, Lyssa," Sabrin exclaimed.

Lyssa took a deep breath but her expression became deadly serious.

"You don't expect me to believe you have been celibate for that whole time, do you?"

Sabrin said nothing, but his face fell.

"I'm not sure how much honesty I want from you about her,” Lyssa began, with a hesitant sigh. “But I don't want you to lie. I know you’ve been with her. I am going to try to not push you in that area, but you have to understand, I’m going to have a hard time dealing with remaining faithful to a man who has no intentions of remaining faithful to me. You cheat on her with me and you will be cheating on me with her. I'm not going to pull any punches here, Sabrin. This hurts."

"The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you, Lyssa.” Sabrin took hold of her shoulders and looked earnestly into her melancholy eyes. “I won't lie to you. You're right. I haven't been celibate. I have had sex with Niki in the past four months but it has been much, much longer than that since she and I have made love. I understand if you want to see other men. I don't want to know about them but I understand. How can I ask you to make such a huge commitment to me when I can't make the commitment I want to you?" He kissed her forehead and pulled her tighter to him. "So what should we do while we're here? Would you like to catch a play?" he asked, trying to lighten to mood.

“I'd love to see a play or a movie. And I want to get out of this room for dinner or lunch. I'm not going to let you keep me cooped up in here, but I do want to be alone with you and make love too."

He sighed. "Agreed. Oh, and I guess I should admit, I broke down and told someone about us too. I'm sure you've heard the name Paul Smythe - I told him."

Lyssa's eyes went wide, she gasped and she covered her mouth with a hand. "Paul Smythe! You told the captain from ‘Time and Space’ that I'm a slut?" she said with half sarcasm, half dread.

"I told him no such thing,” Sabrin defended, aghast. “I told him I was crazy about you and he told me to find you. So I did." Sabrin caressed her check tenderly. "I had to find you. I had to see you again. I want to keep seeing you, Lyssa." He pulled her into a kiss. That led to another kiss and that led to arousal in them both.

They kissed long and hard. His hands were getting re-acquainted with her body. He had etched every nuance into his memory but he wanted to search for any changes. Her skin was as soft and luscious as he remembered. His memory had not done her scent and flavor justice and he was overwhelmed by these sensations.

But this was one of the many things Sabrin loved and craved about her. Lyssa was intoxicating. He had dreamt of her so many times in the last four months.

Sabrin was sure it was not a good idea to tell her this, but each time he had been with Niki in the last few months, it was Lyssa he had imagined in his arms. New Year’s Eve, there had been a woman who had been flirting with Paul. She had reminded Sabrin of Lyssa so much that if the woman had turned her attention to him, he was sure the drinking he had done would have placed him in a bed with this woman in no time. Instead, Niki had been the beneficiary of that situation. He had even shocked her with the power of his sexual attack, he had been so turned on, but Niki was not the reason.

And now Sabrin was back in the arms of the woman he loved and desired more than anyone else. He was kissing her soft lips, caressing her incredible breasts and her moans encouraged him on more and more. As he entered her, she brought her legs up to his waist to take him completely. His thrusts began slowly but built with intensity until both were brought to a new level of ecstasy.

Sabrin moved above her, thrusting in and out of her. Lyssa felt her entire body tingle with the excitement and the warmth of being with the man that possessed her so. Everything about him made her crazy with desire. Now it felt like her blood had turned to lava in her veins. Deeper, she wanted him deeper. But she would never tell him to fuck her again. This was love. She was not ready to say so just yet, but she could not deny it to herself. He affected her to her soul.

Lyssa opened her eyes and moved to take one of his nipples and tease it with her tongue and teeth. Sabrin groaned with desire.

She moved her head slowly up from his chest, running her tongue up his neck and along his ear before sucking on his lobe. She found his mouth once more kissing him hard, battling with his tongue. She ran her hands along his back. She loved the feel of his skin against hers. Soon the volcano within her erupted over as the incredible orgasm she was experiencing made its way through her body.

Sabrin’s mouth was pressed more firmly to her and she struggled to draw in enough breath. The fires were fanned by his actions. He was thrusting harder and faster now, pushing her to the brink over and over. She finally pushed his mouth from hers to cry out and gasp for breath. Her cries shattered Sabrin, causing him to explode powerfully within her. His motions slowed, he released his breath in a cry of his own, then he finally lowered his body down to kiss her with gratitude for the great pleasure she brought him.

"I'm not sure I will ever be able to tell you what you mean to me, Lyssa. I love you." He moved to lie beside her. She had to laugh at the soft snores that came from him only seconds later.

It had been a long day for her with work and coming to New York. Making love with Sabrin had re-energized her. She watched him sleep for a little while before cuddling in next to him. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered her name in his sleep. Soon she too was fast asleep.

When Sabrin awoke in the morning he was almost afraid to open his eyes, scared that everything that had happened the night before had only been a dream. He could feel someone lying next to him. He took a deep breath and when Lyssa's scent reached him, he smiled and opened his eyes.

Trying not to disturb her, he lifted up slightly in order to glance at the bedside table clock. 7:08. He had his meeting with Mark Rice, the producer, at 10:30 this morning. He relaxed, laying back with Lyssa and watched her sleep.

He loved this. Just watching her chest rise and fall with her breath was joy to him.

"Do you love me, Lyssa?" he whispered to his sleeping lover. "I love you so much my chest tightens every time I see you. I think if I lose you, I'll stop breathing altogether."

Lyssa began to stir. She opened her eyes and smiled at Sabrin.

"Good morning," he whispered to her and kissed her gently. "I hope you slept well."

She nodded her head in the affirmative and smiled.

"Why don't we have breakfast in the restaurant this morning," he suggested.

"If you want to, but room service is fine." She wondered if he was trying a little too hard on his promise not to keep her cooped up in the room all weekend.

“No, I want to be seen with the most beautiful woman in New York. I’ll be wearing a hat and dark glasses, but I’ll still be the envy of every man who sees us.” He had sat up to add a reluctant shrug to this statement. Lyssa laughed.

“Promise me we can go out tonight and walk somewhere in shadows and I’ll be happy with breakfast in bed, really,” she assured him.

“Shower with me while we wait for it and you have a deal,” he said with a wicked grin.

“I love it when you talk clean to me,” she giggled. He decided to make her giggle more by tickling her. They were both tickling each other to the point where minutes later they fell in a heap off the bed. With embarrassed grins, they got up off the floor and began the day.

Sabrin picked up the room service menu from the desk and sat next to Lyssa on the bed. There were so many great things to choose from that they had a hard time deciding what to order. They decided that the breakfast for two sounded the best, so Sabrin called down to room service to order. It would take an hour for the food to come so they had lots of time to enjoy their time in the shower. Sabrin had kept the promise he had made to himself in Denver about making sure the bathroom had a separate two person shower and large bathtub.

He was not sure which one he enjoyed with Lyssa more. The showers seemed more erotic while the baths more intimate and romantic. He vowed they would share both before time ripped her from his arms again. Lyssa pulled a loufah out of the bathroom amenities basket along with some shower gel. Twenty minutes later both were squeaky clean, but Lyssa seemed intent on causing him to make a little mess of himself again. Her tongue danced teasingly over his penis as her fingers caressed his balls. She took him into her mouth and began to suck and run her tongue around him as she pulled her head back. Sabrin had to use the walls of the shower to keep his legs from buckling out from under him.

She held his shaft with one hand, pumping it firmly while she continued to tease the head of his penis with her tongue. The warm water cascading on them made the feelings that much more sensuous. She removed the head from her mouth and Sabrin pulled her up and pinned her in the corner of the shower, kissing her ferociously. She locked her hands behind his head to keep him from stopping the passionate kiss.

"You set me on fire," he told her when she let him go many minutes later. "You must think I'm either a sex fiend or that this is all I want from you." He sounded almost drunk with passion as he spoke.

"Do you see me stopping you or am I urging you on?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “I want this as much as you do. Do you want to make love here?" Her hands were all over him. He could not think of moving too much.

"God, yes," he exclaimed, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. Pressing her even more firmly against the wall he pulled her to him as he entered her with a lusty sigh.

He grabbed hold of her leg as she wrapped it around his hip. His thrusts were hard and deep. She moaned her approval, clutching at him to bring him closer, deeper. The water from the shower streamed down on them, adding to the sensation of what they were feeling. Lyssa let out a gasp as she reached climax and Sabrin was not far behind her.

They were gasping for breath as they came down from their erotic high. Sabrin pulled Lyssa back into the direct path of the water to rinse their bodies of the spent fluids and for a quick kiss, of course.

"We'd better get out. I'm famished." She ran her hands over his chest with affection and grinned at him.

"Time for towels then, huh?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at her suggestively.

"You never quit, do you? Let go of me, you animal," she popped him playfully on the butt and jumped out of the shower and out of his reach.

They were almost dry when there was a knock at the door.

Sabrin threw on a robe and answered it while Lyssa stayed in the bathroom to comb her wet hair into its style. The aroma from the breakfast reached her in moments. When she came out, the room service guy was gone and their breakfast had been laid out on the table. Lyssa was wearing one of the hotel's complimentary robes and was absent-mindedly running her hand up and down the sleeve of her other arm.

"What are you doing?" Sabrin asked.

When she realized what she was doing, she laughed. "These robes are so soft. I definitely have to take one of these home." She kissed Sabrin and then sat down for breakfast. They were both famished from their activities of the preceding twelve hours.

"I have my meeting with the producer at 10:30. We can go for lunch when I get back and then we can go shopping if you want," Sabrin offered. Lyssa looked up from her omelet with a confused expression. "Shopping? What do you need?" she asked.

"I don't need anything,” he told her.

"Then why would we go shopping?" Lyssa asked, wondering what he was thinking.

"Don't you want anything, Lyssa?" he asked. Suddenly what he was getting at became clear.

"Oh! You think I'm interested in doing the ‘kept woman’ thing? No, I'm not. I want you, not your money," she said, firmly.

"Of course I know you don't want my money. But Lyssa, this is New York. When in New York you go to Bloomingdale’s. I think there's a law,” he laughed.

"Okay, we can go to Bloomingdale’s but I'll pay for my own purchases."

He nodded his head in agreement.

"What about ice skating? Would you like to go ice skating at Rockefeller Center?" she asked.

"I'll have to think on that one," he laughed.

Sabrin smiled at her between bites of sausage and sips of coffee. He was imagining them ice skating and also thinking about her insistence that she did not want his money. He thought back to the convention and how she had bought him the jersey and the camera, but had allowed him to pay for everything else. She had offered to pay for her beer tour ticket, but he had given her a funny look and handed the guy the cash.

This was a little different for Sabrin. Niki loved to shop. Sometimes he swore she enjoyed his credit cards more than him. Some of the cashiers at Macy’s even knew her by name. There were many times when they had quarreled in the past and Sabrin had been forced to make up with Niki by buying her something, or a lot of somethings.

But Lyssa seemed to be serious. Sabrin made a mental note to keep tabs of this subject for a while.

By the time they finished their leisurely breakfast and got dressed, it was time for Sabrin to leave for his meeting.

"I hope everything goes well," she said. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. "For luck," she whispered.

"I could use some more luck," he grinned. She kissed him again.

"Now go or you'll be late." She kissed him again before pushing him towards the door.

"I should be back before noon," he told her before stealing one last kiss and heading out the door.

Lyssa walked back to the table and sat down. She fingered a bite of toast she had left on her plate. "I hope I know what I'm getting myself into," she muttered to herself. On impulse, she grabbed her cell phone and placed a call to Sonny.

"So, Honey child, how are you?" he asked her after a greeting.

"Hoping this is not a mistake. This is bound to end badly. Sonny, I could ruin his career, end his relationship with Niki, or end up dumped and broken hearted," Lyssa sighed heavily.

"Okay, no to #1 and 3, 2 is not so bad. Get rid of her and then you are his main and only squeeze. Just make damn sure you go with him when he travels, no matter what," Sonny laughed, but sighed when he noticed she was not laughing. "If you have to, Honey, take it day by day, each one as a special gift that may never come again. You want him still, don't you?"

"Yes. It's even worse now. He just left for a meeting and all I can think of is the place smells like him." She sighed again, looking around the suite.

"Did you do the nasty?" Sonny asked, sounding all a quiver at the thought.

"Yes. Happy?" she teased.

"Aren't you?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes," she sighed. "Very, but I'm still a little scared, Sonny."

"That's understandable, Honey. I'm going to give you the same advice I gave you before. You only live once. On the merry-go-round called life you only get a few chances to catch the brass ring of happiness. You have it in your grasp. Hold on to it and don't let go. Now tell me what hotel he’s got you in?”

"The RIHGA Royal."

"Oh my God! Honey, that place is beautiful!" Sonny exclaimed.

"You've been here, Sonny?" she asked.

"Oh, Honey love, I can only wish. I just pulled up their website. My oh my, that place is gorgeous!"

"It’s even nicer in person, but it’s missing a person. I hate waiting, but waiting is better than not having anything to wait for, I guess." She still sounded forlorn.

"It is, Honey, it is. You'll be fine. Goose him of me, will you? And bring me a towel."

"I will and, by the way, he knows you know. Bye, Sonny." With a laugh, she pressed “end” knowing this would drive him crazy, but it was something they often did to each other.

Heading for the bathroom, Lyssa decided to get dressed and prettied up.

Sabrin returned two minutes to twelve and could not find Lyssa. He did not call out, but instead looked until he found her in the bathroom, sitting on the vanity, painting her toenails. He chuckled when he saw her.

"You didn't have polish on your toenails before I left, why now? Who are you planning on showing off your feet to?"

"You, smarty. How did it go? You still have your coat on."

"I noticed that. I was hoping we could have lunch. I hope that's fast drying."

"Yes, it dries quickly. Would you like to help?" She held out the bottle to him. Sabrin took off his coat and took the bottle of polish from Lyssa. He sat down on the toilet seat so he would have a good sight line. He wanted to do a good job. He dipped the brush in the polish and painted the toenail of her big toe. He concentrated on his task as he did not want to get the polish on her skin.

"You're good. Do this often?" she asked with a hint of a laugh in her voice.

"First time. I want to do a good job so there will be a next time," he smiled. There was something so erotic about painting her toenails.

"If you live up to my expectations, you’re hired and I promise never to let another man paint my toenails." She tried not to laugh.

"Even Sonny?" Sabrin asked, tilting his head to the side to look up at her.

"Even Sonny. So are you going to tell me how it went, or do I have to wait for the Playbill?"

He dipped the brush in for more polish and pretended to paint a smiley face on her knee.

"It went well, I think. He was rather closed mouthed. I’ll know in a week."

"Will you e-mail me and let me know. I'm sure you'll get it, but I'd like to be able to congratulate you."

"I'll do better than that, I'll call you." He gave her a gentle smile.

Lyssa blushed and grinned. She was not sure why she was blushing, but she just could not stop.

When Sabrin finished painting her toenails he decided that blowing gently on her toes would help the polish dry quicker. He discovered the side benefit that it also tickled Lyssa. He decided to remember that for later..