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About the Author (My Gender) Yes, I really am female. There, got that out of the way, everyone can stop asking me. That seems to be the most common question from both fans and associates. Yeesh, at the time of this writing I've only had one single story posted, and already I've got people pestering me about things like my gender. Now let me clarify a few things for you about my gender. First and foremost, I was born in the wrong body. Yes, physically I was born male; no, I'm not happy about it. I'm particularly unhappy about it, and anyone who knows me in person will tell you just how angry I am as a general state of mind. Just that most of them don't know why. More specifically, I have never had the monetary capability to do a single thing about fixing my problem. What's worse, I'm old enough that it's pretty much too late to do anything about the problem. Oh yes, I could still go through with everything, but I won't do that at this stage. Why? Because I am a woman, and this late in the game if I underwent the procedures there's a 90% chance I'd end up looking like a fake woman, instead of the genuine woman I am. To me, suffering under my current appearance is not as bad as how I'd feel if I looked like a fake. Think of it as the lesser of two evils. Both options are horrible, this option is just a tad less horrible. Some people have argued that I am not a real woman. They say that I'm either just gay, confused, retarded, or just plain stupid. I've hurt people for being less ignorant and judgemental. I don't expect people who disbelieve my plight to ever change their minds, but to anyone who may be unsure one way or the other, let me just say that I am a woman in every way. I look at every situation as a woman would, I react emotionally as a woman, I feel and think in every way as a woman. When I hear my own thoughts in my head, it's the voice I'd have had as a woman (took me decades to figure that out). I am, in every way that matters internally, all woman. A few people have even pointed out that some of my writing is pointedly from a male perspective. More, they say it's even written the way only a male could look at the situation. I could take that as just a compliment of my writing abilities (which I do, to a certain extent), but I suppose there is at least a partial truth to their words. I mean let's face it, I have to pretend to be male every waking moment of every single day, to the faces of the dozens of people I interact with on a regular basis. I've had to do this for the past couple decades. You think something might have worn off on me by now? I suppose the only benefit of this wretched fucking curse I was born into is that I've picked up some tastes that, had I been born correctly, I might not have acquired. I don't obsess over cars or sports (they're both mind-numbingly pointless and boring), but I do like good action in a movie, I absolutely love video games (the good ones like Halo, Half-Life, WoW, Need for Speed, and the like), and I dare-say that if I hadn't been born into this curse I wouldn't have discovered my taste for women. Yes, I am bisexual, but I never would have discovered it if I hadn't been required to pretend I was interested in women to begin with. Imagine my surprise when it one day occurred to me that I really was watching girls' asses go by! Now, why am I posting this? Safety. I could easily just pretend that I'm a natural-born female, which is what I desperately wish to do on this site. It feels so good to me to post as myself instead of my mask. However I don't want to run the risk of someone down the line discovering my curse, and deciding that I've been lying about my gender to all my fans. That's not the case, so I'm being honest about it from the start. Hope you don't hate me. |
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