"Thank you for going to your room, as I asked."

"Yes, Sir."

"Are you hoping that I'll go easier on you because you put yourself in the corner and pulled your pants down?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Do you know why you're being punished, young lady?"

"No, Sir."

"Really? Let's review the last few hours. Did you offer to take my suits to the cleaners?"

"Yes, Sir."

"And did you take them?"

"No, Sir."

"Did you lay them out on the bed, where our dog and two cats nested in them all day?"

"Yes, Sir."

"After observing said animals on said garments, did you shoo them away?"

"No, Sir."

"Did you, in fact, brush them, leading to the profuse shedding of fur?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Right. While I was out, did you unlock the closet where our spanking toys are kept?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Did you ask your sister to help you change the light bulb in this closet?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Did you place a burned out bulb in the socket on purpose to set up this prank?"

"No, Sir."

"Do you remember how little girls who tell lies are punished?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Do you wish to revise your answer regarding the burned out bulb?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I thought so. Did you want to watch your sister squirm as she attempted to conceal her own spanking interests?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Did you find out about these interests by bribing her ex-boyfriend to reveal her secrets?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Did you offer to let him feel your naked breasts?"

"Yes, Sir."

"And when he had told you, did you place two skinless chicken breasts in his hands and run away?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. Now, I may regret asking this, but when my mother stopped by and asked whether she could use the bathroom, did you actually say, 'I don't know. Can you?'"

"Yes, Sir."

"And last, but certainly not least, do you recall the meeting in our living room this afternoon, where the neighbors and I discussed a fund raiser to rescue animals impacted by the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Did you enter the room in the middle of this serious discussion?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Were you, at the time, playing a ukulele and singing, 'There's a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea?'"

"Yes, Sir."

"Well, you are indeed a Renaissance Brat. You were a brat to my family, your family, the neighbors and me. You bratted by word, deed and omission. It is hard to see how your bratting could have been more complete. While I think a Renaissance punishment such as a public flogging or a few hours in the stocks might be appropriate, I suppose I'll have to content myself with a bare bottom spanking. Lower your panties, please."

"Yes, Sir."

"Oh my... My dear, are you aware that there is a smiley face made out of Chiquita banana stickers on your posterior?"

"Yes, Sir."

"You think you're pretty funny, don't you, missy?"

"Yes, Sir. Yes, I do."