3rd Wildcards
Opening the Heart
Copyright © 2010 by John Marks, All rights reserved.
This verse may be redistributed freely and without charge provided that it remains intact including the byline, copyright notice, and all text, and provided that I am notified of each web address or other online location to which it is posted by someone else. Of course the 2010 SSC archive is authorized.
This is entered in the 2010 SSS SSC in the "Wildcards" Category: using the word from the first two sets as the line-end words
Opening the Heart
I hope this session will your closed-in heart unlock;
For to release your core is my own central purpose.
That from your seemingly sterile, frozen self will come a renaissance
of emotion. Therefore I must make this punishment significant.
I must touch your depths, penetrating beyond your subtle façade of
sarcasm,
Thus I'll assert my will, and - I hope - preserve your sanity.
At times, I've feared for both your and my own sanity.
I found no key, no method to your soul unlock.
I tried my whips of leather, and sharper whips of sarcasm,
But none of these sufficed to achieve my desired purpose:
You scorned them both, as if they were quite insignificant;
Stayed cold to all appearance, gave little hope of any renaissance.
And yet I am determined that there SHALL be a renaissance
of feeling in you. This freeze-out can't remain; your sanity
Cannot, I think, endure the lack of any interaction that is
significant.
And so I'll see if, combined, a scolding and a cropping will unlock
your deeper self. I am determined now to complete my purpose:
I want a close, I'm tired of quips and sarcasm.
And so I say to you, without the smallest hint of joke or sarcasm,
"My dear, the time is finally come to emote, to have your renaissance;
"Simple, shallow interactions are not enough, you need a deeper
purpose;
"and if I must crop you hour upon hour, I will, to save our sanity.
"I trust this is the key, so long unfound, that will your heart
unlock."
You turned, and sobbed, and drew a breath. I awaited speech significant.
"For so long, nothing seemed to matter much but pain, and even that
not truly significant,
"I couldn't answer your concern, except with bitter sarcasm;
"I knew my feelings wanted out, but I couldn't seem to unlock
"the spell I'd cast on them. I hope tonight will prove a renaissance;
I hope tonight, I'll let me tears flow free, ands save my sanity."
Again I used the crop, hoping that I might achieve my purpose.
You yelled, and cried, and said "I must take a new purpose;
"I must treat life as something truly, deeply significant,
"And your love also. I think it's all that let me keep my sanity
"although I long denied it. I fought it off with indifference and
sarcasm
"and now at last, I've let it in, and found a renaissance
"too long delayed. Thanks, love, for persisting until you could my
heart unlock."
At last you've found your purpose, and banished sarcasm.
Had significant interaction, perhaps a renaissance
Of feeling, a resurgence of sanity, since you let your heart unlock.
This is a Sestina, see spankingartwiki.animeotk.com/wiki/Sestina, www.public.asu.edu/~aarios/formsofverse/reports2000/page9.html, and www.uni.edu/~gotera/CraftOfPoetry/sestina.html for more details.
-JM June 2010
Mija email
This is a well crafted poem, something which is rare, and a spanking poem I enjoyed which is even rarer.
The language is playfully evocative with the repetition used to reinforce the themes. The medieval structure is amusing and witty without being twee. As much as I liked it on first reading, I appreciated the mannered style still more the second time around.
The wildcards are worked in well as focal points of the stanzas. All in all, very well done.
Emma Jane email
Absolutely stunning. It's dramatic, poetic and incredibly deep and beautifully captures the struggles of both top and bottom. One to give in and submit, the other to persevere for what they both want and need. Excellent use of the wild-cards, especially how they are built into the rhyming scheme of the Sestina. One I will come back to read again and again.
Pablo email
The form takes some getting used to - I wasn't familiar with it - but with a little patience the subtle reinforcing repetition creates a soothing, meditative rhythm. The underlying narrative is a rich and interesting one, also. The voice is clear, and the message - it's a seduction of sorts, which really suits the structure - is beautifully conveyed. A lot of credit also for using so many of the wildcard words - and not necessarily the easiest ones - and making them work in such a tricky and demanding form.
Zille Defeu email
This is very well written, and fun to read. You can tell the author had as much fun writing it as you have reading it.