SSC 2010: Unequal Expectations, by Rogue the Bronze Firelizard

Class 2Y sat in subdued excitement at their desks as they waited for their accelerated maths class to begin. It was the last class of the week and they were looking forward to their weekend. They stood almost as one in mild surprise when Mr. Jones enter the class. He was not one of there usual teachers.

"Be seated class," Mr. Jones instructed when he had put his brief case on the desk. "As you can see Mr. Epps could not be here today and I've been asked to take your class today. Before you get too excited I have here your weekly quiz and your weekend homework that he left for you."

Taking out a stack of papers he started placing one sheet face down on each desk. "Do not turn over your paper until you are instructed. Now as I don't normally teach second form classes none of you have had me before. There is something you should know. I give the pupil - or pupils if there is more than one - that scores the best mark on test I give, a voucher for a cream bun redeemable at the tuck shop. But for those that fail the test they get a stroke of my cane for ever mark below passing, with a Bonus two for the lad with the lowest score. But as you're only second formers it will of course only be using the slipper, but never the less it should still motivate you all to do your best."

The class while supervised at this change of procedure took the news surprisingly well. As they were the accelerated class for their form and they knew Mr. Epps' end of week quiz were simply 20 questions that covered what they had worked on this week. None of them feared failing and most of them expected a good shot at bun.

When Mr Jones got back to the front of the class he said, "Right you may now turn over your papers and begin." Before turning his back to them to copy down - form his handout - their homework onto board for them to start after they finished their quiz. He was unaware that 2Y was the accelerated stream class for their form.

But when the test was over, Tom Wilkens was not at all pleased to received two hard whacks of the slipper on the seat of his grey school shorts when he bend over in front of the class for his mark of 18 out of 20; the lowest result in the class. Not only had a good quarter of the class manage to get the treat vouchers from their substitute but Wilkens knew he was in for a proper bottie warming that night from his dorm-master. For getting a whack in class because it did not matter why he got them, the rules where the rules. Such was a boys lot at this school the believed in good order.

Zille Defeu email

The idea of "carrot and stick," or in this story, "cream bun and slipper," is an old and cherished one amoung spankos.

This is why I am disappointed in this story -- it had so much potential. I would love to see the author rework this piece, adding more detail for either Mr. Jones' feelings, or poor Tom Wilkins (all we ever find out is that he "was not at all pleased," which doesn't really fire up the imagination). Actually ... come to think of it, it was *in the details* that this tale took a wrong turn -- too much random detail, but only two whacks of the slipper and some foreboding about the dorm-master showing up just in the final paragraph. What is needed is for it to be *refocused* to be the story it should be.

Crimson Kid email

Well, here's a substitute teacher who apparently knows what works with the students he has for the day--bribery, and particularly bribery involving sweet food. I can't fault that as a short-term approach, it resulted in 25% of the boys scoring perfectly on the end-of-week test he administered, although it's not necessarily a sound long-term motivator for academic success. Unfortunately, what Mr. Jones didn't know, that it was an accelerated class and therefore all students should do much better than merely passing work, did hurt the lowest-scoring boy in the class as he (Tom Wilkens) ended up getting two whacks with the slipper even though his test score was 90% (18 out of 20). Worse still, the kid ended up facing a much more extensive punishment that evening because he'd been smacked in class--even with an 'A-' grade on his test.

I recognize the writing style here, so I know that the author is familiar with fictional school settings in which a 90% grade would result in a pants-down paddling for a student--here it seemed to happen more or less inadvertently, the substitute never expecting the lowest score to be that high, so there's a sense of ironic futility involved.

Some days a guy just can't avoid going to bed with his buttcheeks raw and sore, it seems...

Pablo email

There's a solid idea at the heart of the story here: what happens when a rule is made - and enforced - blindly, with no awareness of a change of context. An obvious answer is unfairness, but there's something else interesting, which might have been in the mind of the author: someone who isn't normally in trouble - and hasn't necessarily done anything to merit being in trouble - finds themselves in that position. For a good boy, that's a nicely ambiguous position, which mixes resistance to discipline and embracing of it. Fun. There are some weaknesses here too, unfortunately. The narrator's voice isn't a strong one. A much better idea would be to tell the story in first-person, to avoid the distancing effect of a vague third-person narrator. Because of the weak voice, the twists and turns don't have the impact - dramatic, funny - that they should. Things just happen. The syntax is also bit flat and clumsy here and there. It's a good start, but more care and polish would make a big difference.