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A Picture is Worth Five Hundred Words

The Boy on the Swing

Y Lee Coyote

This story was inspired by a picture of an unspoiled beach in Thailand with a tree and simple swing.

The following story is fiction about a man and two children meeting in a far away place and one being spanked by his dad.  If these subjects are offensive, uninteresting or if you are a minor (i.e., child) please leave now.

This work is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission.  Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice.

The author would appreciate your comments – pro and con, including constructive criticism, and suggestions.  Please take a moment to e-mail.

My parents had taken me on vacation and yesterday I had met him.  He was also on vacation with his parents.  When I first saw him, he was swinging high in the cool breeze and I could see his parents sitting on the beach just like mine did.  We were both nine and very bored with visiting temples and scenic places and strange foods.

We started to play together.  It was something we could have done better at home with our friends.  He pushed me on the swing and I went ever so high.  It was awesome for I could see forever.  Then we had to go back.  His hotel was in the opposite direction from mine.  Our parents promised to return so we could play together the next evening.

I was looking forward to it all day long.  We walked from the hotel to the swing-tree.  We were late but Mom said not to worry for they would wait.  Reluctantly, they allowed me to run ahead.  I did not see him on the swing.  "Maybe he is laying on the sand." I tried to comfort myself so terribly afraid he had already left.  I continued to run.

Then I heard it.  A noise like someone clapping.  I've heard people do that when they sing.  But there weren't any voices – just a steady CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.

I was almost at the swing-tree when I saw what it was.  Mom was right for he was waiting for me.  It took me a while to realize what was happening.  His father was on one knee and he was over the other one. He was being SPANKED!  His pants and underpants were off.  He was naked.  It was not CLAP, CLAP, CLAP but SPANK, SPANK, SPANK.

His father walked away after he finished spanking his son leaving my new friend sobbing and rubbing his red hot bottom.  He was ever so glad to see me.  "I got spanked because I ran ahead as I was afraid I was late and you would not wait."  He let me touch his bottom and it was very hot.  He tried to be brave but it was hurting him.

"Take off your clothes and we can swim."  We yelled for permission and got it.  I pulled my clothes off and ran into the water with him.  It was nice 'n' cool.  He said: "My bottom feels better here."  After a while he pushed me on the swing and I went way up high again.  We had great fun.  He did not want to sit on the swing on his red bottom.

I'll never see him again because he is going home to Europe and I'm going home to America tomorrow.  I gave him a kiss goodbye.  Unlike the boys back home, he did not yell 'girl germs' and run but kissed me back on the cheek.

Mom said that I'll remember that forever – my first kiss from a boy.

The End

© Copyright A.I.L.  June 30, 2010

Kris

This was an intereting read. One conundrum: if the girl is about the same age as the boy, and they just met yesterday, the language seems a little adult-stilted. Would a child use the passive verbs, "My parents had taken me on vacation and yesterday I had met him,"? I tend to think it would be more present tense. "We're on vacation. I met a boy. He was on the swings yesterday." Simpler verbs, I think, are called for, and less passive, in expressing the immediacy of childhood. Especially if they're young enough to skinny dip together. I liked the way the spanking took place, without much fuss, with the indifference young children have for punishment (or nudity, for that matter), which can be intense, but is pretty much over when they're free to go on to more interesting things.

Zille Defeu

I wasn't sure how I felt about the writing style of this at the first reading, but after a second pass, I think it actually works well as a child-like style, which is of course right for the story, since it's being told by a nine-year-old child!

The actual content also worked well as being how a child sees things. The odd little details, the focus on things from a kid's point of view.

I wish I could find words to explain why this didn't entirely work for me aesthetically, but sometimes it's just a matter of, "Just didn't float my boat." But I think there are certainly others out there who will really enjoy it as is.

Emma Jane

I liked the child's view of the world in this story. In particular how they both accepted the spanking for what it was and that it didn't upset either of them unduly, they just got on with their playing. Not that I condone the spanking of children, but it was nice to read a story that doesn't portray the spanking as cruel and abusive. However, the story struggles a little to be consistently child-like in tone and this does takes away from it.

Marie

I really like the premise of this story but feel the author's writing leaves something to be desired. It was almost robotic, the sentences didn't flow, and it made it unenjoyable to read. As I said, I enjoyed the actual story, but not the writing. Would love to see it edited and rewritten. Perhaps the style of writing was meant as part of the story but it didn't come off that way to me. I also loved the bit about the kiss at the end - how very true. We all remember our first kiss!