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Shortlisted Genre Fiction

Sin, Penitence and Repentance

Y Lee Coyote

The following story is fiction about a boy and youth.  The story contains a scene of a spanking.  If these subjects are offensive, uninteresting or if you are a minor (i.e., child) please leave now.  Please forgive me if I got any details wrong about the procedure my protagonist co-opted as they are not truly significant to the story.

This work is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission.  Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice.

The author would appreciate your comments – pro and con, including constructive criticism, and suggestions.  Please take a moment to e-mail.


Eric was not happy.  He knew that he had done wrong; no – worse than wrong – he knew that he had sinned.  After several sleepless nights he decided that he had to do something although he did not know what.  He though it about it long and hard until he made a decision.  A  friend had told him about a place he admitted his sins and then they were erased from his life record.  He rode his bike downtown to the church and went inside.

The place was empty but Eric saw the booth exactly his friend had explained.  He entered and when he heard someone enter the other side, said the prayer as expected.  Once that was acknowledged, he continued with the protocol he had been told about.  He told of his sin simply but with complete details even adding that he was very sorry.  Logically he knew he had to include everything so that his record would be completely cleared.

Something was said but all Eric understood was "…ten…"

Eric left.  His mind was still confused.  Where could he get the necessary ten to clear his record?  Then it came to him – Vernon.  He was guy that helped coach his team at the Y.  He wasn't really an adult yet he certainly was not a kid as he was in high school.  Two days later, after the team practice, Eric got up the courage to tell Vernon that he needed help.  Later, over some ice cream, they talked.

"I need ten to clear my record, Vernon." he said.  Vernon asked him to explain which Eric did without detailing his sin.

The two went to Vernon's house and in the privacy and quiet of the family room, Eric lowered his jeans and briefs and got over Vernon's lap.  "Please give me ten." he said bravely as he could.

Vernon, only a youth, well knew how boys thought about right and wrong, tests of bravery and strength, of becoming a man and above all honor.  He spanked Eric exactly ten times as hard as he could.  Eric certainly felt each and every one of the spanks but he bit his tongue and held on tightly so as to neither yell nor move like a baby.  When told to get up, he quickly pulled up his pants and then thanked Vernon for his help.

"Any time, Eric, any time you need help just ask me."

Although Eric slept prone that night, he slept well as he was both happy and confident that his record was now clean.

The End

© Copyright A.I.L.  July 28, 2010

sarah nada

I find Eric, the main character in this story, really appealing. I like the themes of repentance and strength, and the author's description of the spanking gave me a pleasant shiver. But I'm not entirely sure how "Sin, Penitence, and Repentance" fits into the Genre Fiction category.

Kris

A good story written without a lot of clutter.

Dyke Grrl/Jigsaw Analogy

I appreciate the way that Eric is doing everything he can to atone for his wrongs. And I liked the way that Vernon offered assistance, and was sympathetic to Eric's needs.

Zille Defeu

This has great potential, but falls short. Needs more back-story, and also more exploration of both characters feelings and needs. I think the main problem is that the story idea requires a longer piece of work to do it justice.