Miscommunication
Donner hated these 'plus family' gatherings his parents attended, with him dragged along. At 14 he was older than the other 'kids' so found no solace from the boredom there, yet not old enough to find the adult company any better. To make things worse dinner was always late at these things. When the only seat he could scrounge where he could semi-decently hear the background music was a bar-stool that placed a chocolate moose - that was meant for one of tonight's desserts - right under his nose, making the wait for dinner even more unbearable.
Just as he had enough temptation from the moose, he moved so it was behind him, one of the kids came up to him. An eight-year-old called Dennis he thought, and entreated of him, "Can I have some of that?"
Now trying to be responsible he told the kid flatly, "No."
But his mother overheard but couldn't see what was in the bowl and figured it was one of the snack bowls and scolded, "Donner don't be churlish and share."
The unfairness of the scold pushed Donner right to his limit, He got off the stool to storm of to somewhere where he wouldn't be tempted to really cross it. Only to realize he had nowhere he could go. So he simply stomped into an out of the way corner and sat down in it cross-legged facing it to cut himself off from everyone.
His mother while not pleased with his public display of bad manners but decided he give her teen some slack and gave him a chance to fix his behavior. "Donner, either come out of the corner and behave yourself, or stand in it properly."
Unfortunately it had been ages - at least a year - since Donner had had to do corner-time so he took the warning the wrong way. He resent being treated like a little kid. But he didn't want to push his mother to the next step either; not here. He stood, dropped his jeans - hoping that would be good enough, and put his hands on his head.
His mother was surprised by his choice. Not just that he chose to stay in the corner, but to lower his jeans, while not fully bare, was more than what was required. Donner was only told drop his pants for corner-time if it was going to be more than a timeout, and spanking was almost guaranteed to follow. She didn't know why he was pushing for it, but she wasn't going to let him spoil the party and was going to put a stop to it. Getting permission from her host, before ear-dragged her ankle jean-shackled son to the master bedroom.
Sitting down on the bed she stood Donner in front of him and drew his belt free from his jeans. "I don't know why you want this, but I will not disappoint," she announced as she pulled him across her lap.
Kris email
Poor Donner. I would have expected some expressed shock at a 14 year old exposing his underwear to a crowded room--not exactly social norm in mixed company. And he seemed pretty pliant, so I'm not sure why his mother pulled him by the ear out of the room. Overall, the story didn't score on my emotional scale other than to make me feel sorry for Donner, something which he was already adept at doing--true to teen angst, I suppose.
Zille Defeu email
I wanted to give this a much higher score, but there are enough serious problems with how some of the sentences work out (or don't, rather) that it gets just too much in the way of the story. I can work around a misspelled word or improper punctuation, but I do need the author to have gone back and made sure the sentences all really work to get the story told with the best flow, sucking the reader right into it.
The plotline itself was delightful, and a perfect example of "miscommunication" if ever there was. At 14 one is almost permanently in a sulky mood (at least I was!) and also one is quite sure that pretty much everything is unfair. This fits into that just perfectly. I also quite like a bit of unfairness in spanking stories, so it worked for me on that level as well.
When an author does such a great job of thinking up a really good storyline, I think that the author owes the story the effort of properly editing it, giving it the attention it deserves. As this author didn't, I'd suggest a punishment of some corner-time and a good hard spanking!
Haron email
The author seems to remember the painful awkwardness of teenage years pretty well. It's surprising to read about a teenager who actually tries to be pleasant to his mother, so I felt an acute sympathy for his final predicament.
Pablo email
I'm not sure if this was written as a fantasy scenario, but - teenagers being as they are - it actually feels all too plausible, stubbornness and annoyance with pretty much the whole world pushing things out of control quite quickly. It feels like a very original idea, the mother/son dynamic quite different from anything I can remember reading. The garbled mix of obedience and rebellion creates an image that's powerful: the older boy, trying to obey but not really knowing how, standing pants-down and very publicly in the corner. Some problems with spelling and grammar hurt the reader's experience a bit here, but there's plenty underneath to enjoy.