This short story is an entry in the 2003 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: Adult
Inquisition
By
Valerie Meilong <meilong@excite.com>
A note popped up on my screen.
VALERIE MEILONG.
REPORT TO HEAD OFFICE TOMORROW AT ELEVEN.
I blanched. Obviously I was in trouble!
At two seconds past eleven I knocked on the door, and entered. I saw five Cardinals in red robes sitting at a table and one in a black gown with white spots on it. The Queen of Tarts!
"You're guilty," she shouted. "Off with her drawers!"
"I don't wear drawers," I said firmly. "I'm half English. I wear knickers. Expensive ones. They cost half a knicker."
Nobody understood this English joke.
"Relax, my dear," said the Head Cardinal. "This isn't the Spanish Inquisition."
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition," I murmured.
"Plagiarism!" screamed the Queen. "Cribbed from Monty Python!"
The Head Cardinal ignored her. "Pull up a chair, my dear, take off your knickers and bend over."
That gave me an idea. I turned around and pretended to tie up my shoelace. The Cardinals lifted up my skirt and caressed my bottom with their eyes. The Queen snorted at my cunning.
"Um! You've been sending in stories with smart quotes," said Cardinal Two. "Accidentally?"
"I take great pains, sir; I'm not naturally stupid, as Johnson said" I murmured.
There was embarrassed silence. Smart quotes were obviously not popular.
"Er..." said Cardinal Three. "And your margins are too wide. Sloppy."
"I can't reduce them," I said tearfully. "I'm using Microsoft Word XP."
There was a unanimous gasp at my foul language. "The M-word!" said a horrified someone.
"It won't let me do this in plain text. It's not my fault if it's got a bug."
There was heavy silence.
"That's not a bug. That's a feature," murmured Cardinal Four.
"Now you're using smart quotes," I retorted.
"But her stories are good," said someone.
"Yes! Agreed!" the Cardinals chorused.
The Queen gave another snort.
The Head Cardinal smiled. "Gentlemen," he said ignoring her. "Why don't we spank her to show our appreciation for the stories she sends in? On the bare, of course."
"Yes! Yes!" the Cardinals chorused again, beaming at each other.
"Pure sodding favouritism," snorted the Queen, and stormed out.
My excitement rose.
"Perhaps, er... stark naked?" said Cardinal Two quietly.
A voice came out of the darkness. "Husband!" it said sternly. "When you get home you'll have to spank me for that sexy remark."
"Er... back to business," said the Head. "How would like your reward, Valerie? Paddle, strap, cane?"
I pondered.
"On the bare, but paddle first, and then the cane," I said brazenly.. "I'm half English, you know."
"Can I take down half her knickers?" said a voice.
"Not that one again," groaned the Head. "It's been done already."
I bent over and allowed them to lift my skirt and bare my bottom.
They used the paddle in turn, and then followed it with the cane. The pain was exquisite.
I went home sore but satisfied, stars in my eyes and stripes on my bottom. It was the end of a beautiful morning.
The End
© Copyright Valerie Meilong 04 August 2003
Reviews
Huh Chuh <huhchuh(at)yahoo(dot)com>
Wow. Beautiful comic story. I enjoyed laughing aloud at the jokes in this story. Thanks!
Pam <PamiMac(at)aol(dot)com>
This is not a very good story at all. I remember how it was done in the beginning and the controversy it caused and I remember all the responses the author gave and how the author kept pushing. Not sure why the author decided to enter this as it was only written for the names in the first place. The author has done better.
Patricia <patricia(at)cedar(dot)net>
As a nonsensical bit of humor, this is quite cute. There are a couple of really cute lines and a couple of smart quotes had me chuckling. And I especially enjoyed the crack aimed at Microsoft. However, I kept feeling that I was missing out on the big joke, because I wasn't familiar with all the possible history behind this story. Almost like I'm an outsider, missing all the best parts, because I don't know the whole story. But there were enough general quips and chuckles, that I didn't feel totally left out.