This short story is an entry in the 2003 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: Adult
Lunch Rush
By
Courtney <Courtenesca@aol.com>
"I made it, you eat it! C'mon move it or lose it, pal. We got a big line waitin' here!"
Lunch Hour. A time when procuring a mid-day meal can almost be as hectic as the rush hour home....
"What's your beef, lady? We got all kinds!" Three counter guys guffawed in unison. Deli humor: one person's bologna is another's paté.
...Perhaps you've heard of Seinfeld's Soup Nazi? Here we have the Three Guys Deli. Rocco, Sal, and Vinny are Lords-Behind-the-Counter. The Casanovas of Cold Cuts. The Romeos of Roast Beef.
Rocco roars above the din, "Lady, I got brain surgery in a hour. You gonna order sumpthin' soon? Geez.... Sal, take the next victim, will ya? I gotta live one here." The three deli guys share irritated smirks. "Order up lady, or I start humming the Jeopardy theme!"
Darlene posed heedlessly in front of the deli selection; in a quandary as to her lunch preference. "I don't know.... What's good?"
"What the fu--? It's all good, sweetheart! Go ta the end a' the line, and you think about it real hard. ...Next!"
Darlene didn't budge; she'd seen the line. "No way. I'm next!"
Roc wasn't impressed by her spunkiness. "You want sumpthin', toots? I got sumpthin' for ya -- right here!" He grabbed his crotch; Sal and Vinny each gave the Rockster a high five.
"Yo, Rocco! If she's not ordering, get her butt outta here!" Several shouted suggestions came from the line of restless customers; none complimentary of Darlene's presence.
"Look, I'm ordering here! Nobody can make me move till I get what I want! I have my rights!" Darlene demanded.
"Lady, you ain't 'Norma Rae' -- and I ain't no Supreme Court Judge. What we got right here is the Three Guys Deli, and what we say goes. ...NEXT!"
Darlene dug in. "Get me a sandwich, or I'll complain to the Better Business Bureau. AND Consumer Affairs!"
"Whoa. Vinny, you see this? Ms. Queen Bee's threatenin' the Three Guys! Looks like we gotta...situation...here." The guys huddled up behind the counter.
"You know what's gotta be done now, Roc. Que sera sera. We're behind ya all the way." Sal nodded sagely: the Godfather of Salami. Vinny clapped Rocco on the shoulder in silent support.
"Got it, guys." Rocco took off his apron, pushed up his sleeves, and flipped up the counter hinge. His body language crowded Darlene back into the steamed lunch line.
"Yo, sis. I got sumpthin' real special for ya nobody else has had this week...."
Gaping at the brawny man, Darlene warbled uselessly. He pulled her easily to an empty table. ...He sat. Momentarily, her body followed an unshakable natural momentum. She landed facedown across Rocco's lap!
His meaty palm descended on Darlene's bottom in short order. She kicked and screeched all through her long spanking at the unfairness of life; not making one bit of difference to her determined deli disciplinarian.
Rocco roared, "Hey, guys! Looks like we got some nice rump roast, on special. ...NEXT!"
The End
© Copyright Courtney, 12 July 2003
Reviews
Kessily
Well this piece certainly made me grin! Of course I could see the conclusion coming a mile off; too bad the girl wasn't as fast on her feet! The characters seemed believable. Heck I think I've met those three...only they were running a mechanic's shop. The girl was a bit of a brat, she deserved her comeuppance.
Nice piece. There was nothing in the way of plot but one hell of a cute set up.
Brad <b_radleym(at)yahoo(dot)com(dot)au>
The play of words on the jargon associated with a deli make it into a fun spanking story. A tasty snack of a story.
Warm Hand Jack
It's difficult to make a reality public spanking sound believable. This story succeeds in this, for several reasons: Darlene's intransigence and threatening, the build-up in the three deli-meisters' frustration, and the consultation before the act.
The tale is well told, with the pressure-cooker atmosphere of the narrative being reinforced by the escalating unpleasantness of the very realistic dialogue. (One wonders at the end if the phrase «rump roast» was the writer's inspiration to compose such a scene; if so, it's so natural to Rocco's vocabulary that there's no strain in its use.)
«The Casanovas of Cold Cuts. The Romeos of Roast Beef.» is amusing in its alliterations; however, I missed anything in their dialogue that would suggest that the references are appropriate...unless it means that they love their products. (A sarcastic «Sweetheart » does not qualify!) And the later «the Godfather of Salami », while perfectly fitting Sal as he makes the decision, would have made a neater parallel (with the above as well as with «deli disciplinarian ») if it had been constructed to also alliterate. These are not serious problems. More notable is the present tense in paragraph five (roars; share), conflicting with the past tense in the rest of the story.
I like this story for several reasons; one is that it manages to be entirely serious and funny at the same time. Nicely written.