This short story is an entry in the 2003 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: Edge
In the Shadow of Waves
By
Courtney <Courtenesca@aol.com>
This trip to the beach flew: she ran full-out, stumbling across the dune during the last vestige of sunset. He watched sadly from the tall grass; she railed at the ocean.
"Goodbye, Jill. We can't keep doing this...."
"We CAN! No goodbye. I love you! You can't abandon me!"
"It's time. We had more than most.... You've another life." He shrugged toward the old cabin; walking toward Jill with his arms wide. "No more time. I gotta go."
Jill launched herself: their bodies collided like angels thrusting themselves at their God. Falling to the sand, Jill kissed him, inhaling him like he was the air she breathed. He held her, savoring the tsunami of her need.
"Stay, Devon. You must. You can't leave! We've been...alive!" Her desperate tears overflowed deep furrows in her cheeks. Her arms round him like imprisoning vines.
"All's said and done, Jill. We've prepared for this moment for two years! How selfish can you be?" Devon held her to the sand. One hand ripped off her shirt. Her eyes wide, her lips mumbled a litany of prayer.
"This WILL be the last!" Devon sat back, yanking Jill's shorts down her legs, the scanty undies caught in the descent. Jill lay naked; her sweat glistening in the coming twilight. The waves glowed with eerie phosphorescence.
"Hear me, Jillian. Understand? Our time-quota has been filled."
Nodding mutely, she reached; Devon sat, pulling her facedown over his thighs. Her body bucked in surprise. "Not what you had in mind, Jilly? Careful what you wish for, sweet!"
His palm landed sharply on her bare bottom, setting off a cataclysm with the first flurry of spanks. Jill screeched in denial, fighting the pain and the indignity. "NO! Devon, please, nooooo!" It still hurt so. Two years dead shouldn't feel like this!
This was the way he'd end it. Jill knew the result of his displeasure; this was the last time they would share.... Except memories.
This spanking was pure discipline, something Jill wasn't used to since Devon died two years ago. A new life awaited; no shreds of her old desires would be included. She'd fought the inevitable, but finally gave in. What choice did she have?
"I'll come with you!" Devon spanked her harder, then dragged them to their feet.
"You can't. Don't think that!" Devon kissed her lips: salt from the sea matching her tears. "You've a chance, Jill, don't mess it up. I wouldn't." She clung to him; Devon backed toward the water. "Go home, Jill. He's waiting. No clothes. Let him take you as you are...."
Devon waded into the sea, his body losing corporeality. Shimmering waves crashed through him as if...he weren't there. "Home...."
Tears blurring, Jill crawled over the dune toward the cabin.
...He waited on the porch. Her bereft nakedness called to him.
He slipped the belt from his pants. He hugged her passionately; leading her to the porch rail. "Just us, Jillian. This is long time coming."
He whipped her. She'd never expected....
The shining sea waves whispered: "You're home."
The End
Author's Note: For those who've seen the British film, Truly, Madly, Deeply perhaps you will recognize the theme I was going for.
Sometimes the power of love is greater than our earthly imaginations can comprehend. And the desperate need we have for love is greater than our ability to let go.
Until we have to.
© Copyright Courtney, 22 June 2003
Reviews
justacatfish(at)aol(dot)com
An interesting story with some very good descriptive writing. Easy to read, flows well. One nit: Initially, had a hard time getting grounded but it eventually came together. Would like to see this story expanded, as 500 words does put definite limitations of plot, characterization, dialogue, conflict, resolution, etc. All the basics are in this short story, but limited by restraints on word count. Would like to see the author take this and give it more body and substance in a longer story.
Warm Hand Jack
I like this story -- at least, I want to like it. It portrays a transition from the past to the painful present, and ends with a powerful display that the future will again bring happiness -- the solid kind that is represented by the metaphor of home. It's bursting with emotion -- not just passion, but love, longing, frustration, anger, fulfilment -- quite a gamut for 507 words. It's generally well-rendered, especially in the use of dialogue to reveal the characters and to forward the plot. The spanking scenes are vigorous and vivid, without being overly-detailed. The many figures of speech are picturesque, if sometimes a little stretched. The imagery of the title is most appropriate.
The trouble is, there are too many things I don't understand.
I can readily accept that Devon has been dead for two years, and is back here with Jillian. But since they've «prepared for this moment» -- their final parting -- «for the whole two years»...with frequent meetings at the beach, it seems...when did she have time to start her new life, with the man in the old cabin? And why would she bother, as long as she still had Devon? It would be understandable if D. had only come back for this summer, after she'd re-established herself, but that doesn't seem to be how it's written.
How is one to interpret the beach spanking? Apparently discipline was part of their pre-death experience...how come it never showed up again until now? Did she wish for that in her litany of prayer, that the spiritual Devon could hear (Careful what you wish for, sweet!)? But if that's what she wanted so desperately, why such strong and apparently sincere resistance and denial? In what sense was this a pure discipline spanking -- what had she done to deserve it, other than trying to extend their time together? It seems he's taking out on her behind his displeasure at something external (the rules of the afterlife), not at anything she's done -- not the action of a good disciplinarian. If his intent is to discipline her into accepting his departure, it would only make any normal spankee want him to stay even more! Far from removing any shreds of her old desires from her new life, it seems to accomplish quite the opposite, as demonstrated in the final scene...although that may well be her misconception of his purpose.
It's nice(!) for Jillian that the cabin man suddenly becomes the disciplinarian she craves...but how? Did Devon further answer her unspoken prayers by making that happen? And what's his rationale for punishing her? It sounds as if he's often seen her fooling around with Devon in the dunes, but can finally give her the belt for it only now that the competitions's out of the way («"Just us, Jillian. This [has been] is long time coming.»). Or is his excuse that she's crawling around the dunes naked, the hussy? There is something of the archetypal father-figure in him (the swift, over-the-rail whipping, using the classic daddy's belt). He could even be her real father, who planted her desires in the first place, and with whom she's now home again (in which case the passionate hug would be edgily incestuous...). I don't think that's what is intended, since he represents her new life, but for me it hangs in the air as a possibility.
No doubt another reviewer will immediately get most of what I've missed. I see an excellent idea, generally well-written, that needs a little general revision and a great deal of clarification of all three characters' motivations.
Trisha Allen <trishaallen(at)mindspring(dot)com>
A sad, emotion filled entry. Her desperate need for his love, overpowered her ability to let go. As far as I can remember, it's the first time; I've read anything that expresses the strength of love so vividly, even after death for two years. Expressing the struggle of letting your partner go. To me, it was written so well, I could easily get into it, and feel the emotion the character was feeling.