This short story is an entry in the 2003 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission.  Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice.  The author would appreciate your comments

Category:  Verse
 

Top Song

By

Sem <sem28442@hotmail.com>

If you're going to crash through the door
And assail me with curses galore
No matter how bad
The day that you've had
You'll just end up facing the floor

You know I'm immune to your pleas
Even if you get down on your knees
To the corner you'll crawl
Then stand facing the wall
With your panties pulled down to your knees

Yes I know this embarrasses you
That's what it's intended to do
After such incivility
You must learn humility
Besides, I'm enjoying the view

Then after a suitable gap
You can come and bend over my lap
This nice little tail
So luscious and pale
Will be reddening from the first slap

Now these are the moments I treasure
An excuse to proceed at my leisure
And beat a tattoo
On your backside. It's true
It gives me incredible pleasure

As a beautiful roseate blush
Spreads over your bare, upturned tush
And your breathing gets faster
It's now time to plaster
Your buttocks with blows from the brush

It will do you no good to complain
And say that you can't stand the pain
If you struggle and curse
Things will only get worse
When I tell you to go fetch the cane

So let's have you stripped to the skin
And then let the caning begin
I can watch your tits jiggle
And see your hips wriggle
Each time that a new stripe cuts in

Now the ordeal is over, you're free
So come love and sit on my knee
I'll stroke you, not press you
I'll gently caress you
You'll soon feel much better, you'll see

I'll put you to bed with great care
With your ass pointing up in the air
I can see you're all wet
And the pain you'll forget
As I gently slip this into there

The End

© Copyright Sem, 19 June 2003

Reviews

Don A. Landhill    <dlandhill(at)aol(dot)com>
I have always enjoyed limericks and limerick sequences.  This one is very nice, and the progression from offence, to corner time, to hairbrush, to the cane, to comfort and a hot follow-up was well handled.  I could have wished for explicit forgiveness, but that is a matter of taste.  The tale is neat and complete.

The words generally flow nicely although there are some failures of meter.  «If you're going to crash through the door» & «Now these are the moments I treasure» have too many syllables.  «Then after a suitable gap» has too few, and «As a beautiful roseate blush» has slightly misplaced stresses.  But I have to carefully check against a classic line to be sure of this.  Still in reading it to myself, things felt just a bit off in places.

The images are classic spanking ones.  The verse feels lighthearted, but not whimsical.  I particularly like the tone of «Besides, I'm enjoying the view».

Overall this works very well.  I could wish for an illustrated version {grin}, or perhaps better yet, imagine one.

<comjustacatfish(at)aol(dot)com>
An amusing little piece of writing.  I assume this is the lyrics to a song?

Warm Hand Jack
The "Verse" category adds to the challenge of presenting a good story the challenge of doing so within a fixed structure.  This entry demonstrates mastery of both aspects.  The narrative (if not boldly original) is amusing, very well told, and satisfyingly complete: justification (my personal sine qua non), preparation, and escalating chastisement; followed by TLC and the promise of whatever (yes, I did enjoy the euphemisms!).  The chosen form -- the Limerick (five lines of 3-3-2-2-3 feet, rhyming AABBA), but improved by the use of only direct (masculine) rhyming -- is most appropriate to the light mood of the tale. The metre is followed meticulously, without the slightest sign of forcing the fit, which adds immensely to the pleasure of reading verse.  And each of the ten stanzas is crafted as a discrete chapter, which strengthens each as well as the overall structure.  This is a more detailed appreciation than usual; clearly, the entry warrants it.  A top song indeed!

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