It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular pervs shuffle in
The Italian girl sitting next to me
Is in leather and looking for sin

She says, "Doll, can you show me your underwear?
Your sweet butt is in need of some blows
Your pussy smells sweet and I want to compete
to be the first one to take off your clothes"

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Chorus:
Take off your thong, you're the bottom girl
Take off your thong tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a big orgy
And spanking your sweet butt so white

Now Jane at the bar is a squeeze of mine
She once had me drinking her pee
And she's quick with a fist, right up to her wrist
But sometimes she'd just rather see
She says, "Wendy, just go for the spanking, girl,"
And the smile isn't just on her face
"I'm sure you could be a big porno star
a slut in white chantilly lace"

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Now Gail is an Internet pornographer
Who's cruising for a new 'wife'
And she's talkin' with Daisy who works at Old Navy
getting over the punks in her life

And the waitress is offering sodomy
As the lipstick dykes slowly get stoned
Yes, they're hoping to pick up an oddity
But it's better than wankin' alone

Chorus

It's a pretty butch crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smooch
To make 'em jealous of Wendy they hope will turn bendy
and Hoover their rugs like a pooch
And the spanking bench feels like a buffalo
And my ass is way up in the air
And they sit at the back and look right up my crack
And say, "Hey, is she just kinky, or queer?"

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Chorus