I don't know why so many guys have so much trouble picking up women. It's not that hard. So here's my little 12 step guide to picking up women:
1. Go for women who want to be picked up. You know that they want to be picked up because they are making an effort in the way they look and dress, and because they're gone to a public place where you'd expect to be chatted up.
2. Make an effort. Look your best. Don't go with a take-me-or-leave-me attitude, or guess what, they'll leave you. Being "successful" and clearly being a "good provider" is important to a woman. This doesn't mean you have to be crassly materialistic (unless you are American), you can leave it implicit. But women are more attracted to successful men, or put the other way, loser is not a turn on.
3. Don't talk about yourself all the time, listen to what she says, ask open questions like, "how did that make you feel", "would you do that again", "why do you say that". I know it's easy to panic when talking to a beautiful woman whose knickers you'd like to squeeze into. And when you panic you fall back on what you're most comfortable with - yourself. But don't do it. Talk to your woman about her, she'll be pathetically grateful.
4. Don't put yourself down. If you don't like you, you can't expect anyone else too.
5. Smile. Happiness is infectious.
6. Make eye contact. But don't stare manically, at least until she's staring back. Don't talk to her breasts.
7. Touch but don't grab. Small excuses for gentle touches are good, especially if she's touched you, but don't touch inappropriately or too much ... too soon.
Watch and understand the body language. This is your friend and will tell you whether to push on, or whether to move on.
Sometimes your prey will give contradictory signals: welcoming eyes with a lot of smiling and eye contact, and closed upper body, arms folded across the chest. This means what it says, she likes you, but not that much.
8. Accept rejection not as a personal criticism that undermines your existence, but as a "it's not meant to be", and move on.
You could be rejected for many reasons that have nothing to do with you: her dad might have just died, she might be happily married, she might be mental, she might be busy, she might have met someone before she hated who has something you remind her of. She might be a thousand and one things that have nothing to do with you being a warty monster that she wouldn't touch with a barge pole. Not everything is about you, including rejection.
9. Don't ignore women who are "out of your league". They may well find themselves not chatted up much because they are "too beautiful". Don't presume they have loads of guys hitting on them and therefore you are "bothering" them. (They may, and you may be, but don't presume it). Lots of beautiful women have ugly husbands who had the balls to go up and treat them as human (with loads of beautiful woman insecurities), rather than as Goddesses who you have to worship. If you present yourself as successful, that'll go some way to balancing out her beauty.
10. Don't expect "the real thing". You'll know the "real thing" when you both find it. Most dates should be fun, not an exercise in arranging a marriage off the shelf.
11. Show respect, but don't fawn. Show respect by not telling dirty jokes. Show respect by not discussing the footie unless she is keen. Show respect by giving her your undivided attention and flattering her by listening. Don't fawn by making her take the lead all the time - tell her what you think (eg, I thought we'd go to so and so) and ask her if she had anywhere else in mind.
Obviously, some women like to be maltreated as submissives, but even this can be in the context of showing her respect that she's being a good subbie. No one likes to be gratuitously abused.
12. Have fun. It's not a war. It's not make or break. Don't stress yourself if you don't get a shag, or a date, or a girlfriend, or a wife. If you're tense, go and see a sex worker, and let them take care of you professionally.