The glorious kerfuffle over a comedy programme that cruelly satirised the media's hysterical coverage of paedophilia is just too good to be true - from the Ministers of the Crown making themselves look foolish criticising a TV programme they haven't actually watched, to all the B-list celebs queuing up to exploit child sex to get more publicity for themselves.
I particularly enjoyed the presenter of a pop-science programme holding up a Tee-shirt that claimed to disguise the wearer as a child. And the TV news presenter who claimed pedos could plug their groin into the computer and get pleasure from a child playing a game.
A member of Parliament claimed that a pedo could wear special gloves to feel the body of child pressed up against the screen. And best of all, the wishy washer singer Phil Collins put on a tee-shirt with "Nonce Sense" written on it, supposedly a programme to promote child awareness of pedos, but actually "nonce" is British prison slang for a pedo. What a laugh showing up these talentless wannabes for the heartless cretins that they are.
Rey, the ever wonderful adminstrator at asstr-mirror.org, sent this info about the ton of viruses I (and my daughter and sister) have been getting:
Emily,
This new virus, w32/Sircam I believe is its name, is getting sent out to everyone. The evil part about the virus is that it sends out copies of itself making it look like other people, such as ckought69@hotmail.com are sending the virus, when in fact we can't even be infected by the virus because we aren't using Windows at ASSTR.
To make matters worse, the virus will also montior the machines of an infected system and send a copy of itself to any email addresses in web pages that the infected computer's user browser (so if they're surfing your web site and they're infected, you get a copy of the virus).
There's not much one can do except install good virus detection software and delete any/all copies of the virus received, unfortunately.
Anti-spam munging your email address would help w/ the problem, but a lot of users find it annoying. It's up to you if you want to try it.
- RDS
(bless him!). The viruses now go straight in the bin.
Laying in the sun, nude, drinking cocktails and sharing a vibrator with my chum Lindsey - who is pregnant again and suffering in the heat, and the central of fantasy for my eleven year old son - who has developed quite a fetish for distended bellies. A kinky English summer at it's most relaxing.
Had an eventful moment with Frank, a retiring teacher. Just need the time to write it up!
The second to last day of school is a tense anti-climax.
Tense 'cos it never comes quickly enough. Anti-climax because of the saddness around not seeing many good friends - some forever.
Still ... being a woman of leisure: some sunbathing, bit of horse riding, plenty of gin, off to Ibezia and then the Edinburgh Festival in mid-August (how that for high and low culture!), bit of pottering round the house fixing up things (make me feel like I've "done" something), bit of prep for teaching A-Level Maths next year (hey, I can't help it, I love my job). Plus, of course, some opportunities for casual sex (and some not so casual).
I'm chatting to Lindsey about having a joint-family party (wanted one when Kate was here with her boyz, but Lindsey couldn't manage it).
Joanne, my best-bud in the teaching staff, wants to go out with me. I've promised to visit little Rita in the holidays. And I've sort of arranged with my neighbour Cheryl to do stuff ... which isn't very specific, but then Cheryl isn't a very specific woman. And of course, I looking forward to being mad-old-bird on E with glow-sticks in Ibizia (well, young people get so poo-faced about being hip, it's good to send them up sometimes - though obviously, Laura has made it clear she will be in a different club on the other side of the island!).
So, in all, a lot to look forward to on this penultimate day of school.
Getting down and dirty with a bunch of guys you've never met is pretty easy if; (a) you've got hubby acting as ringmaster - so you don't have to do too much thinking. (b) You're bit of tastey bitch like me. (c) You've been a whore and know the moves. And (d) everyone is drugged up a bit and feeling fine. Of course, the every popular (e), your hubby works in marketing and casual promiscuity is taken for granted - "to get ahead, you got to give good head" and all that.
Still,waiting for that slurred shout "Hi honey I'm home" is nervy, even though the last time was only a couple of months ago - knowing you've got to perform, be sassy and sexy but - and this is the thing - get the tone right.
You gotta be the bitchin slut - but know where a guy's line is - and to be frank, some guys are pretty sissy. (Yeah, I know for you it's nearly unimaginable that a guy can have inhabitions - but believe me, there are plenty of dudes who don't walk the talk when faced with a pretty woman who'll do the things they've only seen on the Internet.)
Sooooo. Robert comes in - all hail and botty slapping - with two blokes: Malcolm (quiet, a little shy, grinning - and quite fit) and his boss, Nik (dark, Greek, loud, charming with an eye for the ladies - or at least for this one). We start as usual - Robert putting his hand up my top and fondling my titties as I beer the guys with lots of big bendy overs - so they all cop a decent look of my thong covered bum. (Level 1 flirty.)
Things are about to go to level 2 - usually sexy dancing or drinking games - or in ankle endangering moments, both. When the door bell goes and Robert lurches over to greet Miss Bubbly, "hi, sorry I'm late, you must be Kate, I'm Cindy - Robert's told so much about you."
I hope my face didn't drop, 'cos her arrival made things a lot more complicated.
Firstly, with women you never quite know how they're going to react when a situation gets raunchy. It's pretty easy to be made to feel uncomfortable. but then it's pretty easy to under-estimate a grrl who's up for it, too. Secondly, contray to porn folklore, not every woman likes pussy - so you've got to work that one out. Third, in England Cindy is a doll to rivial Barbie - and it's dfficult not to imagine any Cindy as have an IQ in single figures. Fourth - what "all about you" had my hubby being telling her. He has a way of embellishing - so I'll been a model (actually a fnger model - I have beautiful hands), a club hostess (escort), a dancer (stripper). It's sweet - but difficult to know what stories have been told about you.
But the biggie is - will Cindy and I click. if we don't it won't be a horny evening unless she leaves.
Now I apologise to all you girls; we know these fine calculations of group dynamics as a matter of course - but most guys are like Robert, Malcolm and Nik - sitting back, drinking beer, not a thought in their butch little heads.
So - snap first impression of Cindy: (Emily - think Jane Sandersen with big hair) - skinny, nearly frail, with narrow shoulders and hips - almost boyish ... almost, except for the glorious perfectly balanced pert C-cups wobbling freely around her chest. And Cindy likes others to enjoy her good fortune, by exposing them as openly as possible.
The deep cleveage of her lacy pink top showed the plump firm tops of Cindy's titties, while the material did little to restrain the peaks of her braless nipples showing through. i felt over dressed with a simple white tee-shirt and breast band tight over my boobs.
Her face was sunny and open - in that "pleased to meet you" American way that told you nothing. I kind of felt she'd done the beauty pagaent thing as a child - lots of beautiful women in marketing had. Of course, she was blonde - but unusually, natural - but a mousy blonde, not my shocking long snow white blonde.
So she was certainly advertising her bodily delights, but would she play? Would she do it, but only in private? Was she just all tease?
She did that thing all women do when they want to avoid a cat fight for who is top princess (women are so competitive in the beauty stakes) ... she came and helped me in the kitchen.
Slipping an easy arm round my waist, she told me (in code) all I needed to know: "Robert, he's so funny" (I fancy your husband);"they say Malcolm is quite the man [giggle]" (they say he's got a huge cock);"Nik is such a dirty dog" (I like it dirty). And pointedly, nothing about me - the cuddle was to make me feel she wasn't threatening me as queen bee in my own home - not that she fancied me.
I pecked her on the check (friends) and whispered, "we could have a lot of fun with these guys" (lets get giggy).
The living room was lit by the flicker of candles and the flicker of the telly, where two porn bitches with over-inflated boobs (I so hate those) shared a black guy with a cock the size of a horse's forearm (you can have too much of a good thing). It wasn't a favourite - one of the softest in our collection - but it had grabbed the buys attention until we came in.
I pointedly sat between Malcolm and Nik - pretty much forcing Cindy to snuggle next to Robert.
The initimacy of quiet flirty chitter-chat closed in round us.
Nik needed the bathroom. I stood and led him by the hand. I closed the bathroom door behind us, bolted it, and drapped myself around his neck as my lips reached up to find his.
He didn't miss a beat ... hands on tits, pushing hard up against the wall, driving his tongue down my mouth, before moving a hand down to cup the mound of my pussy and squeeze it till i squeal. He likes it a bit rough, but then so do I.
He lifts his hand up to smell my pussy right in my face. "OK bitch, your ready". Grabbing my shoulders he spins me round and slams me into the wall. I feel him peel away my thong out from between my buttocks.
A moment's messing about behind me, and then I feel it enter me. No please, no thank you. Just a grunt as he takes me from behind and starts to fuck me like I was a doll. I squeal with each pump of his cock - I'm dry inside, "your hurting" I gasp. "yeah, and you love it bitch!"
He just fucked me harder and harder, and crushed up against the wall, having my cunt ripped by Nik's thudding cock, I began to moan with pain and pleasure, Nik grunted and called me a "fucking cunt whore". I screamed a shrill climax - it was too much to bear, and Nik's thundering cock spurted his juice up my no longer dry cunt.
"Thanks bitch ... your a good quickie, gotta piss now." And he slapped me on the butt. He had that arrogance you only get from cocaine.
"Let me help"
Nik swevelled round and stared at me, but I ignored him and knealt down but the toilet bowel, took his shrunken cock between my long fingers, and waited patiently.
"f u c k ! what punches your bttons? ... you're quite something!" Nik grinned down at me with broad amazement in his eyes.
I looked at the tip of his cock. Looked up at Nik, smiled. Looked back at his cock - pulling the foreskin back slightly. "Am i putting you off?" I smirked with a cheeky grin.
A little spurnt of piss zipped off at nearly right angles and missed the bowel completely. I laughed, bent down, and with long tongue, licked a little of it up.
"Jesus! you...!" he stuttered and his voice trailled away as he couldn't find the words.
A trail of droplets came out straight and landed with a musical tinkle, the drops became a trickle and the trickle a fast steady stream. I put my other hand in it - it felt hot.
I tasted it - sour and quite strong. I like it strong, and bent my head into the streaming piss and let it play over my lips before opening my mouth and lettng the piss puddle. "Argggggh fuck!" Nik sighed as he watched me slosh his pissing cock across the front of my face.
His cock began to stiffen, and I took it - streaming piss - into my mouth and began to gently suck him off even as urine squirted out of the corners of my mouth.
Nik, now hard, pulled himself out of my mouth and took hold of how own pissing cock, and began to play it over my face. urinating on my forehead with a drumming on my brain. He pissed across my tightly closes eyes, before pissing steadily into my mouth and over my chin.
Nik dried up, and ostentatiously wiggled his penis to shake off the last dribs.
"Come on babe, you need to clean up". Nik helped me up a lot more graciously than he'd just fucked me. I lent forward to kiss - but he recoilled from kissing his own piss, "Hey, no thanks, but i'd like to see you do that to the other guys".
So after last night's no-score ... it happens, even to the foxiest of chicks (so I'm told) ... I treated myself to a bit of fun with my son. Nothing like a bit of young teen ever eager cock to put a smile back on to my face. His hardness really fills my mouth and gives his Mummy a great hot fast fuck. We have a bath together, as usual, but these days he's becoming quite the little man - tell me how he wants me, where to raise / open my legs, telling my to play with my pussy while he wanks himself, pissing on me a long hard hot yellow sticky piss. He laughs as he pisses in his high-pitched boy voice. So childish and grown up together. I love it, I love my little Jack.
My chum, Lindsey, threw a party last night ... but don't get too excited, it was a big one, not the small special initmate ones you'd like me to report in loving detail here. Still it was fun, an excuse to get glammed-up. Laura came too.
I drank plenty of gin. Smoked a couple of joints. Was as witty as Oscar Wilde (so I thought). Danced till my bits were all hot a sweaty. And spied this huge dreamboat bloke with a chin so strong you could cut yourself on it.
I started chatting him up (cunningly making it look like HE was chatting me up). When he told me he was a fireman I nearly fainted (major fantasy number 4: Emily at the Fire Station). Yes fireman know how fancied they are ... perk of the job. Yes he had a girlfriend. And and look, there she was glaring across the living room. Bugger.
Went sailing with Jurgen today - well, he did the sailing, I did the laying out nude on the deck of the boat, sipping vodka cocktails and waving cheerfully at other sailors as the skidded by. OK, so the weather wasn't great - but hey, it was great to be out of NYC, and we sure scooted along in the fresh wind - my nipples out ahead of everything!
So how Thanks for the sympathy, Kate. Try not to kill any of the little darlings - perhaps a little light torture maybe, but not actual snuffing!
Hey Emily, it's not like you to be so "down". Remember, you can always borrow one of mine, they'll be boys for another ten years. I can't wait till Jack is a man and can fuck his Auntie all the way. It'll be so good having another proper man in the family.
I've been trying to get back into my normal groove: sunbathing on the roof (nude) when the weather's good; enjoying being romanced by Jurgen.
It's bizarre, but I'd forgotten what a pleasure a non-kinky guy can be ... partly because I want to see when he shows his "true self", I can't imagine any guy who doesn't want to at least fuck me up my pretty arse ... and partly because I want to see if I can turn him into my little fetish-boy kinky plaything, I haven't tried yet, I'm still pretending to be normal ...
My only fear is that when I strip away the veneer of respectability, I'll find just a dull-boy too inhibited to explore sex's wild side. But surely he can't be, he writes for a living.
My boyz are getting on my tits a bit. You do spoil them so when we visit with attention, and it's hard to calm them down, especially without school to distract that. So I'm organising some drop-off parties with some of my mates - you each take it in turn to look after everyone's brats and rest of the gang go off for some retail therapy / pampering / sex hunting. I have to look after 12 next week - look out for any "Mum in brat massacre" stories.
I have this terrible heavy hearted feeling that Jack, my son, and I are at the peak of our relationship. I can see from the growing lenght and width of his cock and the increasing heavyiness of his balls that all too soon cross puberty. And I look forward to that, I really do.
The idea of him fulling fucking me till he cums, tasting his cum in my mouth, these are fantastic things I can't wait for. But then too, there'll be other girls (or boys or girls and boys) who'll be younger and prettier than his dear old Mum, and I'll have to share him and eventually, lose him as he leaves home.
It is a Mum's destiny. But I have to try and banish those thoughts. I have to celebrate the moment and tell myself how very lucky I am to be at the loving centre of a boy's life, and how lucky that we can share and be loving together.
Well there's nothing like being on holiday for three weeks for making you appreciate your bed and having those personal bits around you. Portugal with Robert's family was hot - but only in the sunbed variety. Actually Robert's Dad was a complete pig, sniffing round my pussy all day when he was sober, groping me all evening when drunk. Unfortunately, it took a lot - an industrial amount - to make him pass out. Glad Robert is a Mummy's boy.
England was lovely, and hot as well - mainly from the sun too, but i did manage one fun evening with Emily and co. Staying with our Mum was a bit of an inhibitor.
I was just doing some laundry, and I heard Laura complaining that Jack and Daddy were spoiling the tennis. So I came to sort out what all the shouting was about - it was hot, it was after work, and I couldn't be doing with squabbling.
Anthony had his hand down Jack's trousers, and was stroking our son's cock to make a tent - he didn't need any help with his own tent. Anthony was talking dirty to Laura and Jack about his version of mixed doubles with those fit sweaty young tennis players.
Laura wasn't impressed. So I told her to stop bitching and go and watch Wimbledon in the games room. Anthony asked if I was "in the mood" - but I had too much to do, so I slipped a boy fuck video in the machine, and left my two "men" getting keen together to the sounds of a Russian soundtrack.
But I'm not five minutes back in the organised choas of the utility room when all the shouting starts again. And I like really annoyed - its bad enough I have to lion tame rowdy school kids all day long, so I'd just like a bit of charm and peace and love in my own house.
I stomp into the living room to read the riot out, only to find my sister Kate is the cause. I hadn't heard her come in with her two little boys. But now Kate was laying on the floor, with Jack naked from the waist, sitting on her face, as she licked the cum out of his pink arse - obviously deposited by his Daddy, who was looking dazed but happy on the sofa.
OK, so this was different, and I was much more in the mood. I pulled up a chair by Katie's feet, spread her legs, lifted her white whore mini-skirt - no knickers (well nor did I ... it is HOT), and with an out stretched leg, began to stroke my sister's bald pussy with my big toe, before dipping into her her hot hole and starting to foot-fuck her.
Kate was squirming with pleasure, as she played slowly with her clit. I played with mine too. The feel of Kate's slimy hot pussy on my slowly thrusting foot and the sight of her beautiful face covered in brown cum from my son's botty as her tongue darted around his anus, and licked at the base of his balls and stiff cock.
"Can I piss, Mum?"
"Course you can darling" I simmered as my son stood up. The sight of him pissing down my sister's slender body would be just fantastic. Jack concentrated for a moment, holding his stiff cock up, when he let lose a huge arch of piss that sailed over the top of my sister and landed with a heavy drumming on my lap! I was completely dress for school - aside not wearing knickers or a bra because of the heat (a fact that the boys at school noticed all day) - prim white blouse, neat straight skirt (hitched up so I could play with myself), sensible shoes (now filled with the piss running down my legs).
I watched amazed and giggling as I son pissed a full six feet to drench his Mummy from long range. My blouse became dark yellow and translucent, and you could see my large nipples straining underneath.
I leaned forward, so my face met the thundering pee fountain, shutting my eyes and opening my mouth to my son's urine. I could hear Kate climax. Fuck! I was cumming too. I was choking and cumming together. And then it stoped, and I opened my eyes to watch Jack dribble his last pee over his Auntie's tummy.
I slid off the chair and down on top of my sister, my piss wet clothes making her wet through too. I kissed her wet tummy, kissed her wet titties (pushing up her tee shirt so I could feed from her lactating breast briefly), before landing my lips on her lips, my hand on her pussy.
I kissed and rubbed my sister as she kissed and rubbed me back. We lezzed each other strongly, firmly, me driving my tongue int the back of my sister's throat. Anthony knelt beside our kissing heads, and gently pissed over the back of my head. I kissed Kate in a golden shower of my husband's piss, my long blonde hair becoming rat's tails of piss as I explored my sister's mouth and licked the cum off her face. It was too much, and Kate's clit fiddling fingers brought me off again. I slid off Kate, hot, exhausted.
Anthony took my place, pulling Kate's long tanned legs up over he body so that her ankles rested by her ears. He pushed his cock into his sister-in-law's cunt, and started to fuck her, hard and straight. Kate played with her clit with one set of long elegant fingers, and - nails to the fore - used the other set on my husband's scrotum - tugging and squeezing his balls.
Kate came with a bitches cum, screaming at my husband to fuck her harder. Anthony's face was purple with effort, sweat dripping down his face and the veins on his forehead throbbing with the jack-hammering pump-action fucking. For a moment I thought he wasn't going to make it - that he'd collapse in exhaustion before filling Kate's cunt.
I sat up, licked my index finger, and in one firm movement, stuck it up Anthony's arse. Immediately he started dumping his gooey load deep up inside my sister's straining cunt as Katie screamed "Fuck MEEE!" encouragement.
And then the room was hot and still and softly panting. And Laura popped her head round the door to ask if anyone fancied a cup of tea and was anyone interested in hearing the tennis score?
Just had this major weird sexy dream of being forced to bath in the whole family's pee. Everyone, even Granny and Kate's little boys, went to the toilet all day long in my bath - and then I had to have a proper bath in it, and wash my hair, and get all stinky.
Weird, 'cos I don't really like that sort of thing. But when I woke up, I was all hot and sweaty with serious pussy tingles, and had to play with myself - but really slowly.
Mum was still asleep and it was just after 5am so I didn't want to wake her, though she looked so lovely laying next to me. I fell back asleep after I came myself, and feel a bit groggy now, but had to get up as I was bursting for a pee!
Well everyone is laughing at me just because I went out to a Party on Sunday and felt a bit ill afterwards. Everyone teased me and talked about "when I was your age" how they used to get ill on cider and bizarre 70s drinks you don't see any more. Grrrrgh. But at least I slept with Mummy to make me feel better, which was nice.
Kate's been spending a lot of time with Granny, helping in the garden and with a bit of spring cleaning and other stuff you don't usually see our Kate doing. So Mum's suggesting we should have a rubber glove party for her one evening, since that's her new fetish!
Well Kate & Co arrived, late Thursday pm. I went round after school on Friday (they're staying up at Grannies house) and had a huge dinner. Then Mum and me followed Kate and Robert to the airport - Robert had to go back to New York to go to work, and hand in their hire car, and we took Kate and the boys back to Granny's.
So, nothing more sexy than a peck on the check so far. Though Auntie Kate looks absolutely stunning in her new beautiful deep tan. They're coming round to our place for tea tomorrow, so perhaps we'll have more fun then.