The Email Chronicles ~ Part I
Almost from the first moment that I began to publish stories at ASSTR, I started to receive some odd emails. For the first few months, I simply laughed, shook my head, and deleted them without any response. They just didn't seem to have any value that would make them worth keeping.
Then, I received the first email that you'll see here, from a person I have chosen to think of as "The Doctor," because of his reference to having a "medical room." I thought it best to keep this one, just because of the nature of the email - he was offering to meet me. Apparently, my statements on my contact page didn't sink in with him, or he simply thought that they wouldn't apply to a doctor. Who knows? Here is his email message:
hello, i was thinking about turning a fantasy into reality then turning it into stories no ties,so there are many things we can do im 32.i also have a medical room set up,im into fantasys too i can share with you,what do you think.we can keep a private encounter for making more stories come to life as well as your prefered fantasys.
Now, this seems innocuous at first glance. That is, until you pay attention to the phrase, "turning fantasy into reality then turning it into stories..." This was the first oddball email that I chose to respond to. My response is below:
1.) Absolutely nothing that I fantasize about, in terms of my writing, has ever or will ever occur in real life.
2.) I do not engage in "private encounters." I will engage in private conversations about serious topics, and I will work with others in creating new stories. The key word in that sentence is "work."
3.) I would advise you to read my contact page again, and pay particular attention to the following:
Let me make this very clear: I will not speak with you on the phone, I will not engage in cybersex with you, and I will definitely not meet you in person. I will, however, engage in email correspondence with you to discuss writing in general, erotic writing, and story suggestions or requests that you may have. I would particularly invite other authors to contact me, especially if you feel that you might be interested in doing some collaborative work.
In the future, I would appreciate it if you contact me only with serious emails.
I mean, how stupid can someone be? To invite a stranger, someone you only know by their fictional stories online, to join you in turning fantasy into reality, is absolutely ridiculous. Even if I were a child-molester, Perverted Justice is not going to pull one over on me, trust me.
Okay, now this one is really odd. I mean, what the hell does this mean? I haven't even been able to actually find out what this phrase is supposed to translate into in English - nothing I've found makes any sense whatsoever. I didn't reply, because honestly, I didn't know what the hell the guy was saying to me!
novinas sexo
That's it! Nothing else, not even a name or a signature, nothing. How freaking weird is that?
It's amazing some of the things that people tell me in emails:
Hi there, well I look forward to reading some more when are have finished them!! I just got back from swimming and its kind of nice to get so close to such gorgeous girls and they haven't a clue that you are looking at them!! I wish I lived in a time when it was OK to sleep with girls of this age!! The thought of being naked with a girl of 10/12 is just Wow!!! Opening her legs and seeing her tight smooth pussy, spreading her labia with my fingers and tasting her secret place. Then spreading KY jelly all over my cock head and pushing inside her ultra tight hole!! Mmmmm
Have you seen the link on leslita for 'ladies only no men allowed' I would love to join but you have to be invited by someone already a member. I'd love to join somehow?
The first paragraph of this isn't the odd part; I get email like that all the time from horny guys. It was the last paragraph that made me laugh. This was a guy - read the first paragraph - and he wanted me, a member in good standing (I hope!), at the Lesbian Lolita forum, to help him gain access to the women only area of the forum! I mean, excuse me? I was polite though, if a bit misleading in my response:
I believe that only members who have Administrator or Moderator privileges can give invitations to the restricted areas. I suppose that you could register again and try to pass yourself off as a female, but I wouldn't recommend that. It's been tried before in the past, and it almost always ends with the person saying or doing something that gives them away, thus earning a permanent ban.
It's probably best to stay with the sections of the forum where men are welcomed.
This one is kind of funny, and I feel sorry for this guy. For those who don't know, I have a "mass mailing list" of people whom I notify by email when I update my site. This reader was asking me to add him to my list. I won't comment any further than the email itself, and my response:
You're stories are brilliant! Please add me to the mailing list. From a 16 y.o Australian, male. :D
And my response:
Ah, J... Thank you taking time to write. I'm glad that you enjoyed my work.
However, unfortunately I'm forced to tell you that I wish you had not told me your age. I have no moral objection to you reading my work, however, in the United States, it is utterly illegal for me to provide you with access to it if you are not at least 18 years of age. Silly puritanical society that we live in.
If you're familiar with ASSTR, you know that there is a way that you can view the newest stories posted, arranged by date.
The other option would be for you to create a new email account, and request to be added to my list again - keeping any legally "sticky" details from me, of course...
I'm sorry, but I can't take a risk like that, given the material that I write...
You know, there are links all over the place that lead to my front page at ASSTR. The people who access my stories on that site get my contact details from that site, and on the contact page, I am very, very specific about what I will and will not do with people I've met online. And yet, they just keep rolling in - the requests for "maybe something more?" lol...
To be fair, this person accessed my stories at Lesbian Lolita, not at my own site, so I have to allow for a little leeway here. But really, do people actually think that I'm going to hop in my car and drive off to meet a total stranger based on the fact that he likes my stories? Not in this lifetime, Honey! Again, I think I was polite but firm in my response:
Hi luv your stories on the les lol site. Hm a 40's guy with a draling 4 yo daughter. luv to chat/ swap stories and maybe more??
I responded:
Hi - I'm glad you like my stories... As for anything else in terms of correspondence, I'd ask you to go to my regular site (there's a link in my signature) and read my contact page. If you'd still like to chat after you read that, then sure, feel free to get in touch with me!
Okay, now this last one is really kind of creepy, I think. I didn't even bother to respond to it, because it just made me feel incredibly icky reading it:
hi. love yor stories. i'd really like to see you write a story about me, and you and a little girl. my idea is somthing liek this.
we hook up after meeting online becuse of your stories. we go out and find a litle girl, maybe in a park or something and we bring her home to my place. while your going don on her, just eating her little cunt for its worth, i'm fucking you from behind, slamming my cock into you cunt til you start screaming all over the palce.
if you think you want to writ somethin like this let me know and i'll give you a desciption of me. If yuo wan, maybe we culd even meet for rael somtime.
A few points to ponder, for anyone who may be contemplating sending me a similar email.
I write stories about loving relationships, not about abducting children from the local playground. Abduction and rape is not my thing, sorry.
There has not been a man born who can actually make me scream in orgasm. There have been a couple of women, but that's different. I'm much more the moaning, gasping kind of girl. I come easily, and I come a lot, but I'm relatively quiet about it. Do you really think that we all act like those plastic bimbos you see in your favorite porn flicks? If you do, then you've never been with a woman, I guarantee it. If you have, and you still think that, then you've only been with one woman, and she's probably faking it so you'll get off faster and leave her the hell alone.
You don't need to describe yourself to me, really. I've been on the internet for a long time now, and I already know what you look like. You're somewhere in the neighborhood of five-foot-ten to six feet tall, you weigh about one-eighty to two hundred pounds, and you have a muscular, athletic build. Am I right? Every man on the internet is built like that! Oh, and you have a ten inch cock, too. You all do.
So, that's it for now.
As I said on the previous page, this will be slow to develop, because honestly, of the hundreds of emails that I receive, there are very, very few that are like this. That actually makes me feel good, because it tells me that the crazies aren't as common as I had once thought.
As I gather a few more, I'll make the next page of this little series. Please, as always, feedback is welcome. Let me know what you think of this idea, and if you think it's worth continuing.