The Presentation

The Guest Presenter for this month is Golden [and Silver] Clitorides Award-Winning Author Frank Downey.

"No, you have to do it," she whispered in my ear.

The ‘she’ in question was Gary Jordan’s muse. "Me?" I said. "Gary always does the Silver Clittie presentation! Where is he?"

"He’s....er...unavailable. He, well, he hit his head."

"On what?"

"Well, on the ice," Gary’s muse told me.

"Was there an ice storm in Virginia?"

"Uh, well, no," she said sheepishly. "It was at a rink. You see, Sophia was trying to teach him to quickstep."

I roared with laughter. "Gary? Was taking ice dancing lessons from Sophie? That loon! Did he hit his head before or after this happened?"

"Good question," his Muse answered. "Anyhow, since he’s a bit woozy...well, woozier than usual....he asked that you do the presentation for the Silver Clits this month."

"Why me?"

"Well, the winner is one of your proteges."

"Protege?" I snorted. "I don’t have no proteges."

"He’s a fan of yours. He’s making a splash with a Naked In School story. And the rest of his stories tend towards the mushy-mush romanticism you’re so well known for," she smirked. "What would you call him?"

"Insane," I grunted. "Poor guy. I just hope he never decides to work on a serial. All that chanting......"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she interrupted. "Woe is Frank. Anyhow, he’s a protege...."

"Let’s just say he’s working in the same collective subconscious."

"WhatEVER," she blurted. "Anyway, he’s one of yours. So Gary thought you should do the presentation."

"He came up with this brilliant idea after he hit his head, didn’t he?"

"Well, yeah," she grinned. "But it’s still a good idea."

"Compared to what?" I snorted. "Fine, fine. Gary’s a good friend, even if he is a complete loon, so I’ll do it."

"Great!"

"What do I have to do?"

"Well, first we need to get you dressed appropriately." The muse looked at me appraisingly. "Do you own a tux?"

"No," I said. "But I do have this lovely red dress that would probably work."

"Oh, JESUS," Gary’s muse snorted. "No, that will not do." She snapped her fingers, and I was suddenly attired in a tux--with tails and everything. "There you go. Now, to La Taverna."

I stepped out onto the stage, and cleared my throat into the microphone. "Attention, gentlebeings."

"The winner of the Silver Clitorides Award for the Best Story of the month of February, 2004 is Love At First Sight by Jeremy Spencer.

"Congratulations, Jeremy! And well done to all the nominees and finalists."

The February 2004 Silver Clitorides Awards Winner:

Love At First Sight by Jeremy Spencer

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