Attack of the 60ft Centerfold
When I first got on the Net back in 97, this was the first title I ever ordered online. Since then I've bought a number of T&A flicks from the comfort of my own home, but Attack of the 60ft Centerfold remains one of the cuter, if a little tamer, favourites.
J.J. North is a model vying for a magazine title with her friend Raelyn Saalman and bitchy rival Tammy Parks. Wondering if her boobs couldn't do with something extra (!) she tries an experimental bust-enhancement formula. Unfortunately, it has an usual side-effect: J.J. grows to 60 feet tall! Ironically, this secures her the coveted centerfold role, much to Tammy's annoyance.
Attack of the 60ft Centerfold features a great cast of B-starlets who make an excellent on-screen trio. J.J. is one of those adorable actresses whose career seemed all too brief. This is perhaps her best-known role, as she looks gorgeous trying to hide her naked body after she's grown out of her clothes, and later when all she has to wear is a tatty bikini. One memorable scene has J.J. asleep, with her gigantic boob hanging out, and her normal sized male love-interest can't help but have a feel (the SFX aren't exactly ILM though). Raelyn is cute, even if her boobs look a little odd. And Tammy Parks is always worth a look, especially in a comedy 'bitch' role. The cast also includes Nikki Fritz as the publisher's jealous PA and a non-nude Michelle Bauer.
However, I keep feeling that Attack of the 60ft Centerfold could've had more nudity. There's no full-frontal, and the climatic catfight between the giantesses J.J. and Tammy doesn't feature any clothes ripping. But at the end of the day, it's a cute movie with some good-lookin' babes who get their tits out, and what more could you want that that?
Titty rating: 3.5/5. A near classic and definitely one for fans of T&A movies to check out.

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Best Chest in the U.S.
Not to be confused with Best Chest in the West , although pretty similar in concept, Best Chest in the U.S. is a rather tame strip-contest video from the producers of the Centerfold Screen Test series. This means the performers are not amateurs or 'girl-next-door' types but professional (if obscure) starlets and models. As with the similar Stag Party and Boy's Night Out the show is MCed by "comedian" Garret Adkins.
The contestants are divided up into three categories depending upon bust size: "Itty Bitty Titty", "Huggable Honey", and "Hefty Honey". Each girl comes on stage to dance. The field is then narrowed to just three, who then dance together before a winner is chosen (apparently by random).
Surprisingly, the show is fairly tame. There is no full nudity (although one girl slips off her thong just a little), and a few of the girls keep their tops on. Not good for a strip contest! Even the delightful Leslee Bremmer doesn't show so much as a nipple, even if she is wearing a cute little harem-girl outfit.
Other performers who appear include Candie Evans, Jacklyn Palmer, and a few other familiar faces from the Bert Rhine productions. The first girl from the "Huggable Honeys" segment seems to have had her routine deleted, she appears when they all come up on stage for final judging but nowhere else.
An OK little production, but the lack of variety and nudity make it inferior to either the Centerfold Screen Test videos, or the other Bert Rhine strip shows. 3.5. The packaging of the UK version proudly proclaims that "model shown appear in the film!", which is at least true.

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Big Bust Casting Call
This is (I believe) the last in the Centerfold Screen Test series. This time, the cast is mostly made up of well-endowed pornstars from the early 90s, including Tami Monroe (who appears on the box), Missy Warner and the delightful Keisha. While this makes for a gorgeous cast (Nikki Dial is stunningly beautiful), their fans would probably prefer to see them in hardcore action rather than this T&A jiggle-fest.
Alot of the 'auditions' are just cheesy excuses to get girls out of their clothes. Skits performed include: a couple breaking up (he demands she returns the shoes he bought her, and then the blouse...), a guy trying to buy lingerie for his wife (of course, the cute clerk is willing to try on items), and a girl who realizes she's being watched as she changes clothes (outrage quickly turns into a desire to tease). One is required to dance topless in silhouette, and then persuaded to step to the other side of the screen for some 'breast shots'. The final sequence involves starlets cavorting in a hot tub. All very sexy.
If you've liked the others in the series, Big Bust Casting Call is bound to appeal. The production values are better, the girls are hot, and you could almost believe the auditions are real. Highly recommended 4/5 titties.

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Bikini Airways
I'll admit I was a little concerned that this recent release (it was released in April 2003) bore just a tensy similarity to Bikini Stewardesses 2, but upon seeing it I realized I had nothing to worry about.
As the title suggests, Bikini Airways is a STSWB b-movie about a failing airline, directed by veteran Fred Olen Ray of Attack of the 60FT Centerfold & Bikini Drive-In fame. Regina Russell inherits the company and, after seeing her photographer-boyfriend shoot some strippers, has the idea of having them parade around the terminal in bikinis to drum up business. Actually, it doesn't work, but the girls end up holding their client's bachelor party on the plane. The plot is amazingly simplistic even by b standards, there is no anatagonist to overcome and everything unfolds in a very predictable fashion. Bikini Airways is so thinly plotted it makes Bikini Carwash Company look like Mulholland Drive.
Apart from Ms. Russell, the female cast are new faces who unfortunately sport a few tattoos but are nevertheless cute. Loni Lynn stood out as a ditzy blonde. As I noted with Hot Club California , sex scenes in b-comedies seem to be getting more explicit to compete with the (so-called) erotic thrillers, and Bikini Airways is no exception. The 'let's-just-get-naked' scenes are giving way to pseudo-artsy couples-making-love. Indeed, Regina Russell's only 2 nude scenes are love scenes, and she never once suits up and joins the girls in good ol' fashioned exploitative nudity (management, hmph!).
The photography is sharp and clear (a welcome change from Bikini Drive-In) although there are no external locations and everything takes place indoors (except one brief excerpt made to look like old BW film and the requisite stock shots of airplanes).
I believe Bikini Airways has only been released on DVD, and a good attempt has been made to utilise the technology. The disc includes a few publicity stills (which contains no nudity) and a behind-the-scenes (which does).
On the whole I was disappointed. Maybe I'm just too nostalgic for the old b-movies of the 80s and early 90s, but I felt Bikini Airways just wasn't in their league. Plot is, for me, a big part of the sexiness of these movies and the script here is just too underdeveloped. I'm giving Bikini Airways a titty rating of 3/5. Worth a look though, if only to see where our beloved genre is going in the 21st century.

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Bikini Carwash Company
If you only ever see one of these movies, this should be the one. And if you can, try and get the unrated version: it includes a number of sex scenes plus an unforgetable sequence of three naked girls showering in the carwash.
Bikini Carwash Company is the ultimate STSWB movie. The plot is simple: mid-western guy arrives to look after uncle's Californian carwash, with the help of five bodacious babes willing to show their tits business is booming. Kristi Ducati is adorable in the lead, with a pre-boobjob Neriah Napaul (Davis) and Sara Suzanne Browne as her blonde buddies, plus super-cute small-breasted Rikki Brando and some photographer girl who almost never shows her tits.
I wonder if the fact that Rikki has such a petite chest is the reason why she gets her clothes off far fewer times than the rest of the cast? Personally, I find her pretty hot. Oh well. In the shower scene, Sara reaches out to untie her bikini top twice, but it never does come off.
There's really nothing more to be said in praise of this classic. Big, soaking wet boobs on gorgeous babes. Titty rating: 5/5

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Bikini Carwash Company 2
More of the same. Or rather, not, as no unrated version of 2 was ever produced, so there's no full-frontal nudity whatsoever. The four leads are back (minus the shy photographer chick), and they're still getting naked to save the carwash. Neriah now packs a pretty hefty pair of very fake hooters, but she looks good in 'em, leaving Rikki the only A-cup cutie in the cast. There's some new girls along for the ride, too.
This time, Kristi and the gang take to stripping on cableTV to raise money to buy back the carwash. There's more tits here than you can shake your dick at. Titty rating: 4/5

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Bikini Drive-In
Another STSWB movie where the title just says it all. This 1995 flick ain't as explicit as the Bikini Carwash Company movies (no full frontal nudity), but is still worth a look.
Ashlie Rhey inherits a rundown drive-in movie theatre. Together with her friends Sarah Bellomo (AKA pornstar Roxanne Blaze), and B-auteur Richard Gabai, they try to whip the place back into business. Not surprisingly, this involves the girls wearing bikinis and then taking them off.
The most notable feature of Bikini Drive-In is the number of B starlets who co-star. Michele Bauer basically plays herself, Nikki Fritz plays a nerdy girl who is transformed into a babe, and Becky LeBeau shows up a stripper.
There are a number of cute scenes. Near the beginning, Sarah talks shy Ashlie into sunbathing topless, telling her no-one will see her. Of course, that is just the moment the lawyer appears to tell her about the inheritence. Later, the girls go wild with a hose and end up soaking wet. And Michele Bauer is back in fine form, getting a topless hot-oil massage from her butler.
Enjoyable B-movie fare, where pretty much every female character shows her boobs at least once. 4/5.

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Boys Night Out
Another cheap but fun video from Bert Rhine productions. Very similar in concept to Stag Party, and with the same host (Garrett Adkins), but I prefer this one a little more because of the content.
Basically, it's a strip show. Girls come on, they strip, and between each one stand-up comedian Adkins makes dumb jokes. There's no plot or story.
You're not likely to recognise many of the faces, perhaps Penthouse Pet Teri Lynn Peake (whose name appears on the cover). The tall, slim beauty who was in Centerfold Screentest 3 (and who provided the inspiration for Nicola's Hot Screentest) is a stripping scientist (!).
Perhaps the most arousing performance is one that involves no nudity- two women partake in a banana eating contest. At the end, the pair come back and wrestle in whipped cream. Terrific!
I have one gripe: both the US & British covers feature different pictures of a model wearing a black bow tie and little else, but she doesn't appear in the tape! Titty rating: 5/5

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Cheerleaders' Wild Weekend
Don't be fooled- this 1979 drive-in exploitation flick may carry the hallowed 'cheerleader' name and look like a teen sex-comedy, but it ain't.
The story begins when cheerleading teams from three different schools board a bus for the championships- middleclass Pierce, lowerclass Polk (woo-hoh! Al Bundy's old school!), and upperclass Darwell. Instead of getting involved in all sorts of hi-jinxs, the girls are kidnapped and held to ransom. From there on the story becomes a dull melodrama.
Still, there are some memorable scenes. Enroute, one of the Darwell girls challenges a Pierce cheerleader to a 'flashing' contest, as they compete to expose the most flesh in order to drive a hick in a pickup off the road. Later, the kidnappers organize a beauty contest, where the girls defend the honor of their respective schools by getting their tits out.
The cast features Kristine DeBell, former "Days of Our Lives" actress who started her career by starring in an X-rated version of 'Alice in Wonderland', but eventually moved up to such plum roles as 'BJ & the Bear' (remember that show?).
I'm giving this a 2/5. Some nice scenes, but the story just ain't sexy or cute.

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Co-Ed Starlets
This cheap, obscure little 1994 program can best be described as a very low-budget sex-comedy.
Two film students compete to win a prize by making the best movie. One makes a soft-porn T&A flick, the other a schlocky horror. There is actually quite a few laughs in here, as well as oodles of gratuitious nudity. The story is padded out with sequences of girls stripping that appear to have been lifted from other tapes.
The cast of Co-Ed Starlets was a bit of a surprise. Spending most of the movie naked in the showers are 80s babes Jacklyn Palmer ( Party Plane , various episodes of Playboy Late Night) and Jasae. It was a treat to see these two a decade on from their earlier appearances. Jacklyn still looks great, with long reddish-brown hair and pronounced tan-lines on her generous boobs, but Jasae has gained quite a bit of weight. She still looks OK naked, though, her large tits sag-free.
The inserted material includes Cathleen Raymond as a nude cowgirl (I believe this material is lifted from Nude Cowgirls), plus brief snippets of nude cheerleaders, a hand of strip poker and some backstage strippers. The video-stock matches, but the inserts are obvious. However, unless you already have these tapes you're probably not going to worry too much about the re-hashed material.
The production values are pretty low (shot on video, very cheap sets, etc), but not as bad as some other movies. By no means a must-have, but an amusing diversion. Titty rating: 2.5/5

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Girls of Topless Volleyball
In the world of T&A videos, there's cheap and there's cheap. And then there's Girls of Topless Volleyball, a tape that takes the whole concept of 'budget production values' and just runs with it.
There's very little in the way of story to this. A blonde girl is having a birthday party. Her three little chums come over and they spend the day frolicking in the backyard. Most of the program consists of (as the title suggests) the girls playing volleyball sans bikini tops. But there's also segments of the girls splashing about nude in the pool, lounging around, and a very brief tug-of-war.
Probably the biggest drawcard here is Tammy Parks (under the pseudonym Brigette Lansing). I swear though, this girl must've just come back from the plastic surgeon's, cos when she's lying on her back there are some damn ugly scars visible under her boobs. The rest of the cast includes a busty girl with a deep tan, and a very cute brunette with petite, perky boobs (who is the only girl not to take her bikini bottoms off).
Either by accident or design, no audio was recorded on the day of shooting (a production no-no), so Girls of Topless Volleyball features a long, annoying sound track. There are several scenes of the girls chatting, but all you hear is crappy background music. At least the video-photography is very clear and sharp. The sequences are badly shot though, with little camera skill.
The volley-ball sequences get tiresome pretty quickly. It's obvious that the girls aren't actually playing, they're just whacking away at balls tossed to them by an off-camera stagehand. Tammy tries to liven things up abit by trying to hit the ball with her ass, and her 'victory dance' is a sight to behold.
It sounds like I really hate this, but despite it's many flaws I quite like it- probably all because of the charming Ms Parks. However, for a 1 hour tape it's about 45 minutes too long, and can't recommend it for anyone but die-hard Tammy fans, so despite the almost constant nudity I'm giving it a titty rating of 2.5/5.

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Golfballs!
I couldn't believe the date-of-release for Golfballs!: 1999. More like 1989. Everything about it smacks of those 80s comedies, especially Caddyshack which is desperately wants to be.
The storyline is classic STSWB. There's two rival golf clubs, one of which is cool and laid back, the other uptight and nasty. The cool club falls on hard times, and hires good lookin' babes in bikinis to serve as caddies, with extra services such as topless cart wash. There's a good girl who doesn't take her clothes off, a snarling villain, some radical dudes, and a couple of background babes. The only notable star is Amy Lyn Baxter, who flashes most of the flesh.
Is Golfballs! a T&A flick like Bikini Carwash Company ? Or is it a zany comedy like Caddyshack? Well, it is quite funny. But there's not much in the way of gratuitous nudity, and it almost seems to have been tacked on. A carwash scene is always good, but when it's only short and the girls have no personality it's pretty forgetable.
This is not a bad comedy, though not a good T&A flick. The production values are quite high and it looks some someone sunk alot of cash into this. But there's not too much skin for the decerning viewer, so I'm only giving it 2.5/5, and can only really recommend it to Amy Lyn Baxter fans.
And and don't bother trying the official site mentioned in the credits, it doesn't exist (if it ever did).

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H.O.T.S
This 1979 drive-in nude-fest isn't the greatest sex comedy from that era, but it's certainly one of the more enduring, and is now available on DVD for a whole new generation of fans of naked co-eds to drool over.
A group of gorgeous college babes, snubbed by the snooty Delta Pi girls, set up their own sorority called "H.O.T.S". Both sides become involved in a feud. And somewhere in there is some gangsters trying to recover stolen loot. The plot is, as you'd expect, little more than a series of hi-jinx in which the girls lose their clothes.
The climax of the film is a game of strip touch football that leaves virtually the entire cast topless (except, mercifully, the fat chick). That alone is worth the price of the disc! Other scenes fall flat though. A great idea of having Angela Aames sky-dive topless into a swimming pool is not terribly well realized, and the wet t-shirt contest has to be the tamest ever filmed.
And if you thought the male lead in Bikini Carwash Company was a pain to sit through, H.O.T.S features none other than Danny Bonaduce!
All-in-all, H.O.T.S is well worth a look. If you've got the cash, buy the DVD and enjoy a sports game you'll never see on ESPN. I'm giving this blast from the past a 3.5/5.
Of note: Two other drive-in movies were released on video under the titles of H.O.T.S 2 and H.O.T.S 3, although in fact they were made in 1974 and 1976!

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Hollywood Dreams
I'd heard about this 1993 sex comedy before I saw it, reviews which mentioned bad acting, bad story and low production values. But that doesn't matter as long as there's oodles of tits 'n' ass, right?
The story is fitting for this site. Talentless director Lou Baghetti is making a Baywatch-type sex comedy. Casting provides a good opportunity for Lou to get it on with some good-lookin' babes eager to show they've got what it takes to be in his movie. Lou ends up casting goody-goody blonde Veronica (Kelly Cook) and slutty, can't-wait-to-take-her-clothes-off Sara (Debra Beatty). Also on board is Wild Malibu Weekender Kathy Pasmore as another eager beaver.
Shooting is less fun for Lou than casting. His crew bumbles around the set, while backstage his bi-sexual makeup girl is busy fucking the cast. There is a nice scene of her and Kathy getting it on which quickly becomes a three-way when one of the crew walks in.
There are a few laughs along the way. Hollywood Dreams does succeed in capturing the tedium and frustration of indie movie-making (though I don't remember there being so much sex!)
Hollywood Dreams is an OK sex comedy. Not in Bikini Carwash Company's league, though. The production values are quite low, the film looks very cheap and the photography very flat and a little murky. The girls are fairly good-looking, but not truly memorable, and although there's quite a bit of full-frontal nudity, there ain't enough of it. The basic premise is sexy, but underdeveloped. For example, in one scene a couple of bikini'd beach babes agree to be extras. What would've happened if they found out later they had to be topless? We'll never know, because they're not used very well!
The early part of the movie is the best, with the girls auditioning, and Debra Beatty skinny-dipping in Lou's pool to help her get the part. There's also a cute (but brief) moment on the set where Debra is lying naked on a bed while the DoP takes light readings off her body. As he's shooting on videotape, there's no reason for him to do so!
I don't recommend buying Hollywood Dreams. If it's on TV late one night or you find it tucked away in the video store, then it's worth a look, but the bottom line is it's just average. Titty rating: 2.5/5

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Hot Club California
Genuine b-movie sex comedies seem to be a dying breed these days. Movies such as Bikini Carwash Company are few and far between. They were made for the rental market, which is now giving way to cable. Hot Club California, made for Playboy in 2000, is kinda like those early 90s STSWB movies. Kinda, but not quite.
A group of strippers find themselves with a suitcase full of mob money. They head out to California, and wind up with an ailing club. By hiring some other strippers to dance at the club, they turn it around and soon business is booming. But when the staff walk out on opening night, it's up to the girls to entertain the punters themselves.
So what makes this so different from the classics? Well, Hot Club California is very high gloss. Beautifully photographed, and all the girls look like modern-day Playboy types (which I believe they are). And I think that's where this flick goes wrong. It has none of the charm, warmth or humor of its predecessors. Angela Davies has kind of a plastic look about her, not the sexy girl-next-doorness of Kristi Ducati. It's not about implants (which both have), it's about projecting an image. (And what the fuck is this thing about models with tattoos? Ugh.) Kristi is cute. Angela is airbrush, designed by committee to appeal to the male viewer. And she does, just not in the same way.
Sure Hot Club California has plentiful nudity- explicit nudity unknown in Bs (but not PBTV) of open crotches and labias. And it has a different, more open attitude to lesbian sex. These are certainly things you'll appreciate in a nudie flick, and you'll enjoy them here, but I doubt that Hot Club California will be remembered as fondly as these other titles.
Hot Club California sits uneasy between porn & B. It lacks the explicitness of hardporn, and the breezy cheese of B movies. I doubt it will completely satisfy fans of either. I give it a 3/5. It's a turn-on, but hardly a classic.

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In Search of the Perfect 10
This little gem from 1986 is a must-have for fans of T&A from that memorable decade. Farley Buxton takes to the streets of Hollywood with his trusty "mamometer" and a video crew in hopes of finding a girl who is the perfect 10. In his quest for breast heaven, he encounters a number of notable starlets, and with some slick talkin' Farley convinces them to bare all for the camera.
Among those whom Farley meets up-close and personal are: Lois Ayres as an irate sun-bunny; Blondi as a ditzy hitch-hiker; Krista Lane and Party Plane's Iris Condon playing topless twister(!); Teri Lynn Peake as a girl who's proud to show off her "assets"; Gail Harris caught unawares trying on lingerie; Venus Delight, who has to prove herself to the IRS after filing a deduction for having perfect breasts; and finally the "10" herself, Michelle Bauer, who thinks she's at a job interview.
It's hard to find fault with this program. The two biggies (oo-er) are it's only 1 hour long, and there isn't much in the way of full-frontal nudity. Gail is the only girl to strip buck-naked, and even then she's in profile most of the time. (And she doesn't have any lines.) There's some annoying vox-pops segments, too, but you can fast-forward through them.
This has all the ingredients I love of T&A. It's cheesy and funny, and loaded with gratuitious nudity. The cavalcade of well-known faces (and bodies) is the icing on the cake. In Search of the Perfect 10 is a classic! Titty rating 4.5/5
Of note. This video was directed by famed music-video director Gregory Dark, who was fired by Britney Spears because he used to make this sort of stuff.

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Inside the Girls Locker Room
Imagine: you're sitting around at home watching Bikini Carwash Company and you think, I wish I could make something like that. Well, that is what the writer/director/producer of Inside the Girls Locker Room has done. Called Midnight Owl Productions, this is the first in a projected series, released on DVD only in mid-2004.
The story is pretty simple. The Owls are an all-girl basketball team who've just come off the court. A student girl-reporter brings her camera crew into their locker room for a post-match interview, thus giving us a good, upclose look at the female athletes. After she is finished, the Owls cajole her into stripping down and getting hot & wet under the showers, followed by a vigorous rub-down.
OK, so this is a first effort, but the result isn't too bad. It's not terribly polished, but neither is it amateurish. The girls (who are professional strippers) are good looking, not supermodel material, but they look great naked, though they won't win any awards for acting. The production values are uneven, the early scenes are shot very wobbly, but the shower and massage scenes are very professionally photographed.
The lack of narrative makes this less of a title that interests me. It seems to be more targetted at fans of Playboy/Penthouse type videos, but with more of a 'girl next door' quality to the starlets. At times both cute and glamorous, I think Inside the Girls Locker Room will appeal to mostly collectors of Playboy/Penthouse videos, especially those who (I gather) are becoming dissatisfied with their latest offerings.
Inside the Girls Locker Room is a cheap 'n' cheerful addition to your T&A library. It isn't brilliant, but I think it bodes well for future Midnight Owl productions. I'm giving it a titty rating of 3 1/2 out of 5. Well done, guys, you can be proud of yourselves.

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Party Favors
Party Favors is the 1987 sequel to Takin' It All Off, although only Gail Harris and Candi Evans remain of the original cast. They're joined by Blondi (Candi's long-time porn-pal) and Jill Johnson.
The strippers have fallen on hard times. With the evil evangelist Dr. Honeywell closing down all the clubs, our hottie heroines are forced to go into the pizza delivery business. Trouble is, the pizzas are revolting. But when Blondi accidentally loses her top during a delivery, they hit upon a whole new kind of entertainment.
The nudity has been toned down somewhat since Takin' It All Off (the girls don't strip off completely until the very end when the credits roll), and the quality of the filmstock is questionable (the colours seem very strange). But don't be put off- Party Favors is another enjoyable nudie romp, filled with cute strip sequences (many involving costumes such as cheerleader, cowgirl and cop), climaxing in a strip party thrown for Dr. Honeywell himself.
Well worth a look. 4/5.

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Party Plane
Bikini Carwash Company was the pinnacle of the career of a filmmaking team who earlier cut their teeth on a series of nudie flicks: Takin' It Off, Takin' It All Off, Party Favors, Party Plane, Takin' It Off Out West and some others I haven't seen.
Party Plane is a classic STSWB movie, this time it's an airline. Cue some cute babes in stewardesses outfits stripping for their passengers. Features Jacklyn Palmer (who appeared on Playboy TV and a number of nudie tapes through the 80s) and Jill Johnson (who later moved to England).
No frontal nudity, unfortunately (unless there's an 'unrated' version somewhere). Titty rating: 4/5

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Penthouse: Ultimate Pet Games
I don't normally go in for videos from the big 2 Ps of T&A (too glossy and not cheesy or tacky), but after seeing some pictures and videoclips from Playboy's Playmate Playoffs, I though the idea of girls participating in a naughty Olympics sounded fun. However, the Playboy one is no longer available, so I settled for this, Penthouse's 1996 rip-off (on DVD).
The basic idea is simple: two teams of Penthouse Pets compete in various sports, with two unseen guys serving as announcers. Between each game is a 'video centerfold'-type sequence of each girl stripping. The sports include obstacle course (1 time through clothed, and again nekkid), strip badminton, nude oil wrestling (of the giggle & jiggle variety), tug-of-war, 'strip' volleyball (they don't lose an article of clothing after losing a point, the girls just strip en masse halfway through), and finally paint wars.
I found myself comparing this to the Playboy video, which is odd cos I've only seen a bit of it, and pointless cos it's unavailable, but still it seemed like a benchmark. Ultimate Pet Games suffers from a lack of big name starlets, only Seana Ryan (Bikini Hoe-Down) and the late Leslie Glass. The Playboy version featured a male and female announcer, and the female voice was a sexy addition (it's great when women sexually exploit other women). Sorry, Bob, but from the little I've seen, this comes second.
Pet Games ain't for serious sports fans. There's no scoring or real competition, and the yellow team mysteriously becomes the red team. The editor's also used some annoying frame stutter a couple of times. And the interludes don't really add much.
All in all, a sexy, fun diversion. I liked the cute little costumes- shorts and color-coded mesh croptops enblazoned with "Penthouse" that bounce upward in the heat of competition- but they were only worn in the first game. I'm giving the "Ultimate" Games 3.5/5.
The material from the Playboy video can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bigboobsinbikinis & http://groups.yahoo.com/group/playboyvideotradingpost.

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Stag Party
Similar to Boys Night Out, Stag Party is a 1 hour tape featuring the sort of hi-jinxs one would expect to see at a stag party (it's not a real, filmed stag party but a mock-up). There's more variation in content, though, with a wet t-shirt contest, a kissing contest, and a dating game. However, there's less nudity, and you still have to endure alledged comedian Garret Adkins.
There are quite a few famous faces here. Ashley St. Jon performs a strip. Candi Evans does a turn as the groom's secretary talked into stripping. And Teri Lynn Peake does her usual cop routine. Keep your eyes peeled for director Andy Sidaris (the 'guns n boobs' b-movies) helping out in the wet t-shirt contest.
Personally, I don't think this tape is as enjoyable as Boy's Night Out - there's less nudity, the girls aren't as attractive, and the whole production is cheaper, but it's still an OK little number. Candy is very cute and shy as the secretary cajoled into stripping, and Teri gives an enthusiastic performance. The wet t-shirt contest isn't brilliant, as there are only three girls and only one of them takes her top off. One of the strippers doesn't even strip to topless.
Overall, I'm giving it a 3.5/5 titty rating.
Some kind soul has capped Candy from this tape and posted the pictures here.

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Starlet Screen Test
My favourite of the Bert Rhine produced "screentest" series. If you haven't seen these, basically they're (alledged, I don't think they're real) auditions of actresses reading for parts that require nudity.
Best bit: Starlets are being interviewed in a hot-tub. Leslee Bremmer appears with a towel wrapped around her. The director asks her if she's shy, and she replied she sure isn't. Then he asks her if she's got her bathing suit on, and Leslee replies "I sure don't". She then drops the towel to reveal a very nice naked body. Titty rating: 5/5

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Starlet Screen Test 2
This isn't so much a review as a warning. Starlet Screen Test 2 is just a rehash of material from Centerfold Screen Test 1,2,3 & Starlet Screen Test. So, if you've already got them, don't bother with this!

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Starlet Screen Test 3
After the disappointment of Starlet Screen Test 2, it's good to see that volume 3 contains nothing but new material and fresh faces. So fresh in fact that I don't recognise any of these ladies from anywhere else.
Here is more of the same. Girls audition for movies such as Ski Bunnies and Sorority House 2, roles that require nudity. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think these films have actually been made? Anyway, the girls are quite willing to strip off and show they've got what it takes to fill the part, and that's what counts (if you're looking for shyness here, you'll probably be disappointed).
The sequences are cute and more convincing than those in previous volumes. One girl acts out a scene where she is surprised in a tub, two others try to seduce a college professor. In a screen test for a lingerie video, the director asks the starlet to change, and she asks if he wants her in front of or behind the screen. When he says 'in front', she's more than happy to oblige. Two actresses cover each other in baby-oil, and in the final audition, a model poses nude while enthusing how she really wants to meet the director. All very sexy, and more than a little cheesy.
Although this tape didn't leap out and grab my attention like the others in the series, it's still an enjoyable little program. Titty rating: 4/5.

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Takin' It All Off
It's kinda a toss up between this 1987 film and Bikini Carwash Company as my all-time favourite TNA comedy. Not surprisingly, they were produced by the same team.
Becky Le Beau runs a school for strippers. Only the money's running low, and the landlord is hankering after the rent. Into this conumdrum walks 'Jean Poremba' (actually 80s pornstar Candi Evans) a shy country girl who wants to strip but can't. The solution to both problems is big-bust starlet Kitten Natividad. Becky launches a show with Kitten headlining, and the money rolls in. Meanwhile, Kitten relates how she overcame her case of 'cold tits' with hypnotism. One visit to the shady hypnotist, and Candi is getting her gear off whenever she hears a certain song (the titular 'Takin' It All Off'). The corny ending features the entire casting stripping on stage and hypnotising the audience.
So, a STSWB movie where stripping girls are used to save a business that is all about stripping girls. Huh? Never mind the logic, just revel in the frequent and senseless nudity.
Perhaps the only problem with Takin' It All Off is that it lacks the production values of the later Bikini Carwash Company. The cinematography is a bit murky, the lighting is very flat, the colours aren't vibrant.
Personally I love the cast of well-known 80s starlets: Becky, Candi, and my personal fave from that decade, Gail Thackray (later Gail Harris). Girls from that era had a different quality to the 90s starlets of many of these other movies, but don't be put off.
Titty rating: 5/5. Takin' It All Off is probably pretty hard to find these days, but perseverance will pay off. Followed by a sequel Party Favors.

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Takin' It Off Out West
Not a sequel, prequel or even equal to Takin' It All Off , this 1995 flick from the same production team isn't quite as cute as the older films, and isn't as good as their masterpiece Bikini Carwash Company , but is nevertheless an entertaining B sex comedy.
Set in the old west, a group of strippers are despatched by the US government to a remote mining town to cheer up the locals. The girls arrive to find the town beseiged by outlaws. It's a STS storyline alright, but not really WB.
The main cast is largely unknown, but Julie Strain appears (in a striptease sequence drawn out across the entire length of the movie), as does Kathy Pasmore as a hard-bitten gunslinger transformed into a babe.
Probably because of the Surrender Cinema-type movies that were starting to come through at that time, Takin' It Off Out West has more sex scenes than previous comedies. There's also no full-frontal nudity.
However, the girls are good looking, and the strip sequences are cute (thanks to the period costumes). The buxom babes always seem to be changing clothes or otherwise letting it all hang out.
All-in-all I'm giving Takin' It Off Out West a titty rating of 3/5. A better story would've pushed the score higher, though. It's pretty hard to find, but well worth the look.

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Wild Malibu Weekend!
I can't remember if it was this movie that got me onto Maria Gonzales' Everything Goes or vice versa, but at some point I got hooked on the idea of naughty adults-only gameshows. Wild Malibu Weekend! is a 1995 comedy about a group of girls who appear on a fictional cableTV gameshow entitled "Bikini Challenge". The cast includes pre-boobjob Shauna O'Brien (under her Penthouse nom de plume of 'Stevie Jean') and Playboy playmate Barbara Moore.
Unfortunately, "Bikini Challenge" (and therefore Wild Malibu Weekend!) isn't quite as raunchy as it could be. Sure, the girls get to play some saucy games, like rolling condoms onto gerkins, but it isn't until the last round of the gameshow that the girls actually take their tops off.
This at least gives Wild Malibu Weekend! a finale to look forward to. The host asks the girls to remove their bikini tops, and then the house band (who appear to be a real SoCal indie rock group) plus a nerdy stagehand cover the competitors' tits with whipped cream. The girls are then armed with water pistols and squirt away at each others chests. Whoever's breasts are exposed is eliminated, until only one girl remains.
There are a few other brief scenes of toplessness scattered across the film, including Shauna lounging on the beach and Kathy Pasmore attempting to seduce a TV producer. However, given the sexy premise Wild Malibu Weekend! could've had alot more gratutitious nudity.
I think this is Shauna O'Brien's only comedy role (she's done lots of more explicit erotic thrillers), and she is quite cute. Barbara Moore is not though, and I can only assume Playboy did a hell of alot of airbrushing to make her presentable.
Overall, I'm giving Wild Malibu Weekend! a 2/5 titty rating. A good idea, but not well executed.
Of note: before I bought this tape, I popped onto the imdb to check out its credits, and apart from the title and the year it had nothing. I came back later to fill out the details and found it had been loaded with full cast & crew list. Weird...

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World Wet T-Shirt Finals
Another offering from the Bert Rhine stable of 80s T&A videos (together with "The American Wet T-Shirt Association"), this is, as the title suggests, a wet t-shirt contest video. However, this is not amateurs/college babes performing before a drunken crowd on springbreak, but rather professional models (including Candi Evans and Teri Lynn Peake) struttin' their stuff before a rather sedate group of guys seated at tables in a studio.
Basically, it's Boy's Night Out , but with wet t-shirt contestants, and astoundingly-dull host Doug Zedon instead of the just-plain-annoying Garett Adkins. Call me cynical, but I doubt if there's any such thing as "The American Wet T-Shirt Association", and this could only be called "The World Wet T-Shirt Finals" if by "The World" you meant "the starlets in Mr. Rhine's casting files".
Okay, so the whole set-up is about as genuine as the hooters on some of the contestants, but does that matter? Frankly, no. What we have here is some good-lookin' babes getting their tits soaked for your viewing pleasure. To add a little variety, each of the girls draws from a hat to see just how her assets will be hydronated. There's the standard watering down from beer glasses, a liberal spritzing from soda bottles, and finally a bubbly shower from champagne bottles, all administered from guys in the audience.
The girls are cute, many of them recurring faces from the Bert Rhine videos. All but one removes her top, and none go all the way to strip buck naked. Still, they're energetic and enthusiastic performers, and rather brave when you consider that TV studios and water don't mix very well.
If you're a wet t-shirt fan, you might be interested in this. It's different from the more standard fare, making "The World Wet T-Shirt Finals" a little more polished, but perhaps more tame. Hard to find (my order took 3 months to fill), but not especially worth the wait. 2.5/5.

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The Great Bikini Off-Road Adventure
The Great Bikini Off Road Adventure is classic SWSTB.
The girls have to figure out a way to save a Jeep tour company, so (surprise) the girls conduct tours in bikinis which keep flying off at just the wrong (RIGHT...) moments.  And (un)fortunately, it occurs repeatedly with each guest, so they begin a bidding war which drives the tour cost way up and profits along with it! 
Of course, there is a villain who wants to take the business; he also hires his own babes on the river. 
There is a mystical old Indian who seems to be the girls' guardian angel, but he also makes a habit of collecting the aforementioned lost bikini tops. However, in the end, the assets the girls bring to bear ensure success. 
Throw in rafting, a water fight, and a few other gratuitous scenes and this film becomes a must own for fans of the genre.  Avalon Anders delivers what you expect, and Laura Hudspeth is impressive in her own bouncy way.  A definite 5/5!

Knockouts
Knockouts just missed classic SWSTB status. 
Samantha and her friends belong to a health club, where we see several working out topless (clearly standing on a chair as they pretend to do pullups, and all too briefly).  We are then treated to the classic topless/nude locker room shower and change footage.  
A scene or two later the girls are playing strip poker, when her deadbeat male friend tells some other chicks from the gym where Samantha's tuition money is stashed...in her teddy bear!  The bad girls (who are also from the previous topless/nude gym scenes) steal it, so Samantha and her friends have to find a way to get back her tuition money. Surprise! 
The deadbeat "just so happens" to know two struggling film producers who will shoot a bikini calendar which will get the girls the money they need.  They also happen to install dressing room cameras to capture the nude footage to sell to two old "collectors", one of which happens to be Samantha's father!  That's why he couldn't make up the lost tuition money. 
The nude scenes in this film are too short in this writer's opinion, and it also completely failed to deliver in two important scenes.  The first is the "training" scene where Sam and her friends get ready to wrestle the bad girls (starring Bambi of Penthouse fame).  The girls hit a heavy bag and do aerobics supposedly topless, but the scene is shot in silhouette so one can't be sure.  The second is the entire wrestling bout, which is shot clothed (DAMN IT!) except for the occasional pulled down wrestling outfit.  These two factors knocked a 5/5 to a 3.5/5.
My two cents:
It's been a while since I saw Knockouts, but if I remember correctly, I was a little disappointed by the wrestling scenes as well.

Screwballs 2
Silly T&A movies come in two kinds, in my experience : Trick or Treat. "Trick" is when girls are tricked or coerced to strip, spied upon and generally exposed against their will. "Treat" is what Knickers and "Let's save our business by stripping" is all about : girls treating men to a ogle-feast, and being big teases, reducing the men to drooling morons that can't produce their wallets fast enough. The best thing about both is the ludicrous reasons and pre-texts for stripping that they come up with.
Screwballs falls into the "trick"-category. 30 seconds into the movie a guy wins a game of strip-dice against two girls, who strip off bra and shirt respectively. And it goes on like that… Four boys (fat one, smooth operator, nerd and somewhat normal) go to summer school and try to ogle the girls as much as possible. They spy on them in the girl's locker room, they go drag and sneak into their dorm (and bath). They invent an acid that dissolves cloth, and drops it into the pool when the girls are swimming. There are girls in underwear, girls in gym wear and girls in bikinis. The best thing about this movie is that there's no plot apart from the desire to strip or bed girls. Below is a description of the best scene in the movie…
The four protagonists arrive to summer school ten minutes earlier than the regular bus, and pose as school officials when the others get off. After having separated the girls from the boys, they lead the girls into an improvised medical office.
Fake Doctor: (young and quite good-looking) "Over there so we can all fit in. Now, to begin this examination, I'm going to have to ask you young ladies to strip down to your bras and panties. Right behind that partition."
Nerd girl : (glasses and dark hair, very pretty) "Doctor, I have this little problem… I don't wear a bra."
Fake Doctor: "Hmm.. Do you have tits ?"
Nerd Girl :"Little ones"
Fake Doctor : "Hmm.. I'm going to make an exception. You may take the examination."
Nerd Girl: "Thank you, doctor."
The next (interesting) scene has the girls all lined up in their underwear, except the nerd girl, who is topless (and her boobs are looking quite good, thank you). The fake doctor is walking along the line, weighing the girls' tits with his hands. The girls are smirking at each other. The nerd is zooming in on the girls' chests with his video camera, especially the topless nerd girl, who have to suffer through close-ups of both her nipples.
Nerd Girl: "Hey, how come he's got a video camera ?"
Fake Doctor: "Well, have you ever heard of video dating ?"
Nerd Girl : "Yeah."
Fake Doctor : "Well, this is video X-ray."
Nerd Girl : "Ohh."
My two cents:
Only to add that Screwballs 2 features perhaps the finest wet t-shirt contest in a comedy ever. One question though: the boys get in trouble for sneaking out of school to attend the contest, but not Nicki for appearing in it??? Titty rating: 5/5.

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