Things don't always work out the way you anticipate, no matter how well you plan them ahead of time. This is true for missions, as well as personal lives.
My initial plan for dealing with Carissa was to slowly warm up to her, but instead I ended up oscillating between showing her affection, and acting cold and distant. Time passed, and Winter settled in. This meant that we had all ended up with more free time. This meant various training and recreation activities, but it also meant that Carissa had more chances to covertly, and overtly flirt with me. She became more daring too. In normal circumstances, she could have probably been slapped with a sexual harassment charge.
I had actually debated having her disciplined for her sexual advances towards me, but I never went through with it. At the time, I wasn't sure why. No, that's not true... I knew why, but I didn't want to admit it to myself...
Things finally came to a head after a basketball game that we had participated in. We all hit the showers afterwards. The showers were open stalls, and eventually I noticed her standing outside the stall that I was showering in, and staring at me. Then she walked up to me and suggested that we shower together. It wasn't the most daring advance she had made, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. Something had to change, and it would... just not in the way I anticipated.
Carissa had gone out to eat afterward, so I went to her quarters and waited. As I waited, I planned out in my head the various scenarios that could possibly happen. The most likely one was that she'd be upset, probably to the point where she'd start crying. Another less likely possibility was that she might become aggressive. This was actually one of the least probable scenarios, as her programming eliminated any aggressive impulses. Her last checkup had also showed that her programming was intact.
For all my planning out and calculating, what ended up happening was different from any plan or scenario that I had thought of. She got back, I told her flat out that I was fed up with her advances, and that I wanted to know why she persisted with them after repeatedly being told by me to stop. Her answer confirmed a suspicion that I had had in the back of my mind for several months. She remembered...
This opened up a whole new playing field for me. She told me a bit about what she recalled, then I saw her getting upset. She started to sob while she talked.
"If- if you can't have feelings for me because of my past, then I'd r-rather just be made to forget that I love you! It'd be better then going on like I have! So why don't you just fry my brain and--"
I did something right there. I did it to both surprise her, and surprise myself. I grabbed her head and kissed her. I kissed her long, and good. It started off as a surprise... just something to shut her up, but after a second or two it became more like a real kiss. In that moment, not only did I realize that sex would be fine with her, and that it might even help her, but I also realized that I was repeating myself; I was ignoring her when she was crying for help, all because I didn't realize that she was crying for help.
When the kiss finally ended, I felt like an ass. "I'm not going to make you forget again. You've done so well, Carissa. I care about you more then you know. I was so concerned that you'd remember, especially if we ever did have sex, and I was afraid that you'd freak out... But you already remember..." I said to her.
I watched her smile, then decided to find out how much she remembered.
"When did you start remembering? Did it just all come back to you one day?" I asked.
"No. I got little flashes here and there. Some of it came in dreams. I don't know when it started, but it wasn't long after I was reprogrammed. I'd see my scars in the mirror and get a flash of what happened to create that scar. I'd see some rope or chain and remember something. As time went on, the flashes became bigger and more complete. There are still some gaps, but I'm sure I remember most of it." she replied.
I had never interacted with someone who was aware that they had been programmed before. "You know that you've been programmed by us? Does that make you upset?" I asked.
"No. I'd probably be dead by now if I was still a sex slave. Chloe would almost certainly be dead. Zana... who knows..." she replied.
This was quite true. I thought about this, then I noticed that she was sitting next to me.
"You saved us. You saved me. Programming or not, I love you for that." she said.
In my mind, I finally said "Fuck it!", and I grabbed her. She wanted to have sex so damn bad? Fine. My more carnal side surfaced, and I began to grope her. She almost tore my shirt as she removed it. I began to grope her breasts, and she almost instantly came and slipped into one of those trances.
I was surprised at first, but then calmly grabbed my shirt and put it back on. I had learned all about these trances from Michael and Jennifer. That knowledge was about to come in handy.
"Carissa. You are deep in the trance now. I don't want you to wake up until I tell you to. Understood?" I said.
"...Yes..." she replied in a monotone.
Now was my chance to figure out exactly how her mind was working. One thing I knew was that in one of these trances, Carissa would be incapable of lying. No matter what the truth was, she would tell it. I guided her over to her bed and had her lay down on it.
"Carissa, I am well aware of your hyperactive sex drive, but I want to know why you focus it on me."
"I like you. I don't know why, but I want to be with you. I've wanted to be with you since I first saw you..." she said.
"What is it about me that makes you want to be with me?"
"I'm not sure. I know when I'm around you, I feel warm and safe. When you show me affection, it makes me feel good. When you touch me, even just putting your hand on my shoulder, I get this pleasant feeling. I don't know why, but I know that I like it." she said.
She didn't know why, but I did. I knew all along, but I didn't want to acknowledge it until now... It was chemistry...
Some couples talk about how they're soulmates, and/or how they were meant to be together. Other couples may fight at times, but still stay together for reasons that they can't explain. Still others may like the physical attributes of someone, or like their personality, but they don't click for reasons that they don't understand, and eventually they break up seek out other people. It's all because of chemistry. That was why Carissa wanted to be around me. Combined with her hyperactive sex drive, it clearly explained her sexual advances. I decided that it was time to try implanting a trigger.
"Carissa, from now on when you see me smile at you, you will feel calm and contented. Understood?"
"Yes..." she said.
"Good. I want you to wake up now."
I began to caress her face to help coax her out of the trance. She blinked a few times, then suddenly she looked aware and alert again.
"Are you awake?" I asked.
She looked at me and nodded.
"I need to go and take care of something. I'll be back in time for Chloe's dinner." I said.
"Wait! Please stay! Tell me what happened."
I smiled at her, partly to test the trigger I had just implanted. My fingers absentmindedly played with her hair. "Don't worry Carissa. Things are going to be different now. I really have to go, so lets talk about this later, okay?"
I left her quarters and went off to do some serious thinking. I had most of the puzzle figured out, but a few more pieces still needed to fall into place...
The chemistry between two human beings is a powerful force. It will compel two people, usually of the opposite gender, to mate with one another in spite of logic or known consequences. That chemistry is one of the main reasons our planet has so many people. I spent years training myself to ignore this force of nature. Having the ability to ignore it and not let it affect one's judgment is an essential survival tool for any high level Wetworks operative. Few people can ignore such a powerful force. That's why many married people cheat on their spouse's. They find another person with a body chemistry similar to their spouse's, and in spite of the risks, they mate with this other person.
Carissa was attracted to me. The truth was that I was attracted to her as well, for the same reason: Chemistry. Earlier that day we had been playing basketball. All of us got a good workout and we all got pretty hot and sweaty. I occasionally got near her, and I could smell her... Her scent wasn't unpleasant... quite the opposite in fact...
After sitting in a darkened room for a good half hour, I came to a final decision. My more primal side, which I had learned to suppress so well, was about due for a good venting. She wanted it. I wanted it. She knew what would happen and was more then ready for it, so enough of being a gentleman with her.
I headed back to Carissa's quarters. She greeted me when I entered. She was completely naked now. I gave her a carnal smile, then I grabbed her and kissed her. She was a bit surprised, but soon began to kiss me back. I was feeling frisky now, and I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.
Once I placed her on the bed, I began to lightly pinch and rub various areas of her body, just to see how she reacted. She liked it when I pinched and lightly pulled on her nipples, and she liked it even more when I rubbed her clitoris between my thumb and forefinger. I didn't let her cum yet. She got close, but I stopped just in time.
My clothing came off and I climbed on top of her. I could feel her body, so soft and warm underneath me. I could smell her as well. It was the scent of a young, healthy female. I pushed my way inside her. She let out a small cry, but I saw a wide grin on her face. She began to thrust her hips, causing her vagina to swallow the rest of my cock. She was quite good, not surprising considering her past. We both grabbed each other and began to roll around on the bed. She ended up on top of me, then we went the other way and I was back on top of her... Then we accidently rolled off the bed and hit the floor. We continued to have sex as if nothing had happened...
After we both came, we laid there on the floor. I placed my arm on her warm, soft breasts. I realized that just once wasn't going to be enough... Carissa was in a trance and needed a few minutes to recover... We were almost certainly going to be late for Chloe's dinner.